Savage Love

Q I’m seeing an amazing guy who I met doing sex work—as in, he was paying me for straight-up sex. It’s not a *Pretty Woman* situation. He’s my age and not wealthy, and I’m too old for that anyway. We share a lot of geeky interests and have a great connection, and the sex is […]

Q Twenty-one-year-old female here. When we were both 14, my first boyfriend took advantage of me. I wanted to explore my sexuality a little, but things went further than I wanted. One day, we were kissing with him on top of me. We were both fully clothed, and he started rubbing up against me. I […]

Q I have a mentally disabled cousin. He’s lived for more than 40 years in the same nursing home in a small, conservative town. His mental age is about eight, there are other mental-illness issues and he has some physical problems. He is now in his late 60s. He has always enjoyed dressing up as […]

Q I’m a 24-year-old straight, married female. I have been reading your column in the Portland Mercury since I was 16. Thank you for explaining things that my parents wouldn’t and for helping me clear the hurdles of adolescence! I turn to you now for advice. Five months ago, I married the man of my […]

Q I am a 23-year-old straight male. My ex-girlfriend and I started dating in high school, when we were both 17, and continued dating until I broke up with her the summer after our freshman year in college because things felt too serious. We continued to have sex, but I blocked out all my feelings […]

DEAR READERS: Last week was made of problems. The bombing of the Boston Marathon, the explosion that leveled a small town in Texas, the rising tide of anti-gay violence in France, the North Koreans being North Korean. And when I sat down to write this week’s—while the manhunt was still under way for the second […]

Q I am uncircumcised, and the opening at the end of my foreskin is not large enough for the head of my penis to pass through. This means my foreskin doesn’t pull back when I get an erection. The internet says this is a condition called “phimosis,” and a lot of medical sites recommend circumcision. […]

Q I’m a gay man who has been seeing a devout Christian gay guy for one year. We have a great relationship. We have many of the same interests and respect each other’s feelings and beliefs. However, I am a Catholic who is not that religious, and he is an Orthodox Christian. Some of his […]

Q I am trying to understand some sexual fantasies I have. They involve having sex with a woman who has a penis. Sometimes I fantasize that my wife grew a penis. The fantasies started when we first tried pegging a few years ago. We recently had our first child and can no longer find the […]

Q My brother is 22 years old and mentally ill with social anxiety on the scale of agoraphobia (officially diagnosed). He’s made significant progress in the past few years, but he’s stuck on the fact that he’s a virgin and is convinced that he’s not going to make any real social progress until that’s no […]

DEAR READERS: I’m off this week. To tide all of your hot and/or kinky and/or sore asses over, here’s a column I wrote 15 years ago. I’m rerunning it now because I still get questions about “gerbiling” on a daily basis. Q We were having a little office debate about “gerbiling.” How does it work? […]

Q I’m an actor in New York. A lot of people think actors are whores, but last week I almost became one. I responded to a casting call for a film project called Sniff. The ad—on Playbill‘s website—called for two male actors to film a short scene. The pay was $100 for a day’s work. […]