Q Is it legal for a man to procure the services of a Dominatrix? In the kind of session I have in mind, there’s no nudity or sexual activity or contact involved. There’s not even any whipping or flogging or caning or hardcore BDSM stuff. I just want to see what it would be like […]
Savage Love
Posted inLifestyle
Kinky queries
Q I’m confused about my sexuality. For many years, I thought I preferred hetero-romantic asexual relationships. Exposure to select reading material—thanks to my gender-studies classes—has me convinced I’m an asexual t-type (“top,” but I prefer not to use such connotative terms) female who is attracted to slight and feminine men. I do not want to […]
Posted inLifestyle
Boys, boys, all type of boys
Q I’m a woman in a straight relationship. I woke up this morning, and my BF wasn’t in bed with me. He felt ill in the middle of the night and went to sleep in the spare room—where he found a condom in its wrapper behind the nightstand. Now my BF thinks I’m cheating on […]
Posted inLifestyle
Kinky romance
Q I’ve been reading your column for awhile, and you always advise kinky people to go seek the same within the kink community. But in my experience, the kink community is very “sex right away, get to know you later”-oriented. I have two questions. First, as someone who’s a bit old-fashioned, is there somewhere I […]
Posted inLifestyle
High on love
Q Does a person who acts loving only when high on weed really love you? My live-in boyfriend of three years acts sweet, loving and caring when he’s high, but when the weed runs out, he’s mean, angry, hurtful and horrible to be around. I’ve asked him when he’s stoned to still act like a […]
Posted inLifestyle
Girls and only girls
Q I have always wanted to have a girls-only sex party, but I’m not sure how I feel about actually organizing one. What’s the etiquette if I do organize one myself? Do I need to provide the dildos for people’s harnesses? Or just the condoms and lube? And how do I find people who want […]
Posted inLifestyle
A mono-lithic problem
Q My wife and I have been together for more than 10 years, practicing some kind of non-monogamy for more than seven. We tried different things—open, dating others, FWBs—but after a bi threesome with another guy a year ago, we knew that was our thing. For a while, everything was great, but roughly a month […]
Posted inLifestyle
Quick hits
Q I have been happily married for 12 years. I’m deeply in love with my wife—she’s amazing, very sexy and gorgeous. I used to be jealous, but about six years ago, I lost my feelings of jealousy. In their place, I developed a strong desire to share my wife with other men. It’s my only […]
Posted inLifestyle
Solve my ex hex
Q I entered into a civil union with another woman in Vermont in 2000. My ex and I were together until 2003, when we decided to go our separate ways. It is now 2015, and my new partner (who happens to be male) and I are expecting a baby and talking about getting married. We […]
Posted inLifestyle
A hair from the truth
Q My appearance is intrinsic to my kink. I’m a gay male gymnast. I’ve always been turned on by the thought of being a piece of meat. I’ve masturbated for years about dehumanization. Being in bondage, hooded and gagged—not a person anymore, faceless, nude, on display, completely helpless. (Just typing that sentence made me hard.) […]
Posted inLifestyle
Adult aversion
Q I am a male grad student who is technically engaged to a female grad student. She has numerous positive qualities, but she is repulsed by sex. She is very sensitive about her repulsion and becomes distraught when I broach the subject. She says that even the thought of doing anything sexual with me elicits […]
Posted inLifestyle
Training daze
Q My boyfriend and I both spent a lot of time masturbating when we were young, and pretty much trained our brains to come only one way. He can only come from masturbating furiously, or sometimes from a marathon of jackhammer sex. A few years before I met him, I toned down the masturbating to […]