Rob Brezsny

LIBRA(September 23-October 22) The humourous science journal Annals of Improbable Research published a paper entitled “The Effects of Peanut Butter on the Rotation of the Earth.” Signed by 198 Ph.D. physicists, it came to this conclusion: “So far as we can determine, peanut butter has no effect on the rotation of the earth.” Libra, I […]

Happy Birthday! VIRGO (August 23-September 22) I’ll bet that a-ha! experiences will arrive at a faster rate than you’ve seen in a long time. Breakthroughs and brainstorms will be your specialty. Surprises and serendipitous adventures should be your delight. The only factor that might possibly obstruct the flow would be if you clung too tightly […]

LIBRA(September 23-October 22) When novelist James Joyce began to suspect that his adult daughter Lucia was mentally ill, he sought advice from psychologist Carl Jung. After a few sessions with her, Jung told her father that she was schizophrenic. How did he know? A telltale sign was her obsessive tendency to make puns, many of […]

Happy Birthday! VIRGO ((August 23-September 22) A guy I know was invited to hang one of his paintings in a New York gallery—on one condition. It had to be a piece he created on the spot, in the gallery, on the day the show opened. That would be way too much pressure for me to […]

Happy Birthday! LEO ((July 23-August 22) One of history’s most notorious trials took place in Athens, Greece in 399 BCE. A majority of 501 jurors convicted the philosopher Socrates of impiety and of being a bad influence on young people. What were the impious things he did? “Failing to acknowledge the gods that the city […]

Happy Birthday! LEO ((July 23-August 22) When Tchaikovsky wrote the musical score for his famous 1812 Overture, it included 16 cannon shots. Literally. These blasts weren’t supposed to be made by, say, a sledgehammer pounded against a wooden mallet, but rather by the detonation of an actual cannon. As crazy as that is, you’ve got […]

Happy Birthday! LEO ((July 23-August 22) You’ve been making pretty good progress in the School of Life. By my estimates, you’re now the equivalent of a sophomore. You’ve mastered enough lessons so that you can no longer be considered a freshman, and yet you’ve got a lot more to learn. Are you familiar with the […]

Happy Birthday! CANCER ((June 21-July 22) If you narrow your focus now, the world will really open up for you in the second half of October and November. To the degree that you impose limitations on your desire to forever flow in all directions, you will free up creative ideas that are currently buried. So […]

Happy Birthday! CANCER ((June 21-July 22) Most change is slow and incremental. The shifts happen so gradually that they are barely noticeable while you’re living in the midst of them from day to day. Then there are those rare times when the way everything fits together mutates pretty quickly. Relationships that have been evolving in […]

Happy Birthday! CANCER ((June 21-july 22) Let’s hypothesize that there are two different kinds of freedom possible for you to pursue. One is simplistic and sterile, while the other is colourful and fertile. The first is characterized by absence or emptiness, and the second is full of rich information and stimulating experiences. Is there any […]

Happy Birthday! CANCER ((June 21-july 22) The epic breadth of your imagination is legendary. Is there anyone else who can wander around the world without ever once leaving your home? Is there anyone else who can reincarnate twice in the span of a few weeks without having to go through the hassle of actually dying? […]

Every 10,000 years or so, reports the Weekly World News, hell actually does freeze over. A rare storm brings a massive amount of snow and ice to the infernal regions, and even the Lake of Fire looks like a glacier. “Satan himself was seen wearing earmuffs and making a snowman,” the story says about the […]