With a few modifications to the original 1982 Arnold Schwarzenegger epic—Conan (Jason Momoa) is now blood-thirsty from his birth on the battlefield—Marcus Nispel’s reincarnation welcomes gore, actualizing all horrific means of butchery. Conan’s quest for revenge begins as a child when megalomaniac Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang), seeking a missing bit of a magical mask, slaughters […]
Molly Segal
Posted inArts + Music
Experimental filmmaker Solomon Nagler
Solomon Nagler is working on a trilogy of short films tentatively called Gravity and Grace, but he’s hesitant to talk about it in anything but veiled terms. He doesn’t want to draw bad luck to his work-in-progress due next spring. Nagler, who’s been making films since the late ’90s, could be described as a Winnipeg, […]
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One Day isn’t quite enough
What begins as an almost sexy encounter between Emma (Anne Hathaway) and Dexter (Jim Sturgess) on grad night at Edinburgh University in 1988 turns into a saga of their friendship. We’re privy to the following 20 years of their respective lives, every July 15, as each finds or loses ambition—Sturgess, a coked-up TV host who […]
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30 Minutes or Less kind of meh
Pizza delivery boy Jesse Eisenberg gets conned into a convoluted get-rich-quick scheme; the brainchild of Danny McBride and Nick Swardson to finance their tanning salon/prostitute ring. Trapped in a bomb-vest with a 10-hour expiration choice, Eisenberg’s character has to rob a hundred grand from a bank to pay off a hit man or explode. As […]
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Glee: The 3D Concert Movie calculated karaoke
Don’t be fooled, Kevin Tancharoen’s Glee: The 3D Concert Movie isn’t so much a movie or a documentary as it is an endorsement for the hit TV series. Testimonials of doting fans getting teary-eyed over how the show transformed their lives are intercut with live concert footage of the TV stars covering pop songs. The […]
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The Change-Up a cringeworthy bro-mance
Ryan Reynolds (a promiscuous stoner douchebag-with-a-heart-of-gold) and his BFF since grade school, a much older-looking Jason Bateman (a family man with an insatiable appetite for success) star in David Dobkin’s (Wedding Crashers) latest bro-mantic comedy. The premise is as simple as it is stupid: the dudes get drunk, piss in a fountain and voila, switch […]
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Kitschy Snow Flower and the Secret Fan
In present day Shanghai, Nina (Bingbing Li) visits her comatose laotong (sworn sister) Sophia (Gianna Jun) in hospital. She reads Sophia’s unpublished manuscript, a parallel story of two other laotong, Snow Flower and Lily (Jun and Li) living in 1820s Hunan Province. The elaborate costumes are the most compelling part of the movie, which has […]
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Despite funny moments, Crazy, Stupid, Love disappoints
Despite some truly funny moments (half of which are in the previews), director duo Glenn Ficarra’s and John Requa’s (I Love You Phillip Morris) Crazy, Stupid, Love doesn’t live up to its full potential, falling into a well-worn Hollywood routine of soulmates and grand gestures. As Steve Carell’s 25-year marriage to Julianne Moore breaks up, […]
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Cowboys & Aliens drags
Jon Favreau’s Cowboys & Aliens is what you expect: a sci-fi action movie set in a lawless world of saloons and guns. An amnesiac cowboy wearing a digitized wristband that shoots stuff (Daniel Craig) ambles about wreaking havoc, killing some nasty looking aliens who’ve taken people hostage. The town’s head honcho (Harrison Ford), a mysterious […]
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No Smurf-in’ good
Director Raja Gosnell takes Smurfs where they shouldn’t go: out of Smurf Village (an alternate universe that “knows no sadness”) and through a blue moon-induced portal to modern day Manhattan. Hiding from evil wizard Gargamel (Hank Azaria with a prosthetic shnoz)—who’s on a mission to extract the Smurfs’ happiness to become invincible—a band of Smurfs […]
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Predictable Friends With Benefits
Just when you thought Hollywood was going to break some rules and get all polyamorous, it cranks out another predictable, if R-rated, romcom. Two hotties—an “emotionally damaged” recruiter, Jamie (Mila Kunis), and “emotionally unavailable” GQ recruit, Dylan (Justin Timberlake)—become best buds who just want a li’l hanky-panky on the side, sans relationship. Complications ensue (kinda) […]
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Winnie The Pooh sweet like “hunny”
With a heavy dose of “hunny,” hand-drawn animation and John Cleese’s narration, Winnie the Pooh is a tongue-in-cheek rendition of AA Milne’s lovable “bear of very little brain.” What starts as a search for Eeyore’s tail (aka “A Very Important Thing To Do”) turns into a quest for Christopher Robin, whom Pooh and his cronies—Kanga, […]
