Dan Savage

Q My wife and I went through a long-distance period when we were still dating and she went away to school. I used porn as a masturbatory aid during that time. I did not tell her this, as she believes that porn use is equivalent to cheating. Well, fast-forward a couple years (and a marriage), […]

Q My boyfriend of two years cannot climax or maintain an erection unless his testicles are handled, squeezed, pulled or pressed on (preferably with my stockinged foot or knee). Needless to say, intercourse does not work very well, and our sexual repertoire is rather limited, which is frustrating for both of us. His doctor says […]

Q I’m a 20something genetic male. I thought for awhile that I might be trans, but I ended up deciding that while I hate my masculine features and like girl clothes and want to be “cute,” I have no desire to be female and don’t want to have breasts or a vagina. I also don’t […]

Q I’m a 25-year-old gay male into puppy play. About a year ago, I joined a pack with one Sir and several puppies. I became very close to one of my “pup bros” and became his alpha—meaning between the two of us, I’m more Dom but still sub to our Sir. Fast-forward nine months, and […]

Q I am a 38-year-old married woman. My husband of 18 years is 22 years my senior. I credit my husband for giving me a good life and helping me pursue goals. But my husband is a type A professional, and that has played out in the bedroom. He has always been disinterested in my […]

Q I’m a 27-year-old straight guy who’s been in an open relationship for six years. I often seek out extracurricular activities, but I am unsure of how to bring up my situation without doors closing. I wrote to a seduction blogger who often writes about open relationships, and his advice was to not mention it […]

Q I am a gay man and have been in a relationship with my GGG boyfriend for more than three years. We are in our early 20s and have a good sex life. I just discovered that he has been engaging in what can only be described as cyber infidelity. He had a secret email […]

Q I am a straight female who was a dominatrix for a while—and out of all the jobs I’ve had, I loved it the most. Working as a secretary—one with a master’s in writing—wasn’t that hard to beat, I guess. But professional dommes aren’t immune to workplace romances, and I fell in love with a […]

Q I am a single woman, 31, in LA and on OkCupid. I’ve gotten a number of unicorn requests. I’ve never responded—until the other day. One unicorn request stood out. I wrote back. They seem like cool, smart, interesting people (a 40-year-old liberal married couple). Their profile is funny, and they’re quite attractive! And here […]

Q I’m a bit out of your usual demographic (I’m 70), but I am still an avid reader. My cousin and I have flirted and joked about getting it on together for about 50 years or more. Now she’s divorced and having the time of her life. The other day, she told me what she’d […]

Q I’m a fairly boring person by your column’s standards in that I’ve always identified as a straight male into typical relationships. I’ve realized, after multiple long-term relationships that were unsatisfying, that monogamy isn’t for me. I would like to have a main, fulfilling and committed relationship without limiting myself sexually or emotionally. I’ve struggled […]