Dan Savage

Q My husband is nearly 20 years older than me, which was never an issue early in our relationship. However, for approximately the last eight years, we have not been able to have fulfilling sex because my husband can’t keep an erection for more than a few thrusts. I love my husband and I am […]

Nancy, the tech-savvy at-risk youth, two gimps, Christ on the cross, the Easter Bunny, two weeping women and the Easter Bunny’s smoking-hot leather master took to the stage at Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon, for a live taping of the Savage Lovecast on Easter weekend. Audience members submitted their questions on cards, but with Rachel […]

Q I’m a 31-year-old gay male. I’ve been with my fiance for three years, and we are getting married in the fall. I’ve got a question about initiating sex in my sleep—I read somewhere that “sexsomnia” is the “medical” term, but maybe the internet invented that? According to my fiance, I have initiated or performed […]

Q I’m a queer girl living with a male partner. This weekend, we found ourselves in an after-hours club, made some new friends and ended up at a house with two other guys and a girl. Things were pretty playful with everyone except for one of the guys. We all wanted him gone, but he […]

Q I’m a 27-year-old male with a 42-year-old girlfriend. We met at work; we were both going through divorce. At the beginning, holy moly! My dream girl in the bedroom. We’ve been together for a year, and the sex is still the best I’ve ever had—she says she feels the same—but it’s vanilla. I am […]

Q I’m a woman in my late 40s. In my early 20s, I married a much older man. We did all the requisite things: Kids, house, intercourse once a week. When the sex fell off due to his declining health, he surprised me by suggesting we open our marriage. He said I was too young […]

Q Gay guy here. Met a guy online. We had incredible sex and then a great conversation lasting several hours. Then he told me that he lied about his HIV status. (I asked him before meeting him, like I do with anyone.) He is undetectable, but he told me initially he was “HIV/STD negative.” I […]

I recently spoke at Curious Minds Weekend in Toronto at the Hot Docs Cinema. Audience members submitted questions on cards before the show but the moderator, Lisan Jutras of The Globe and Mail, and I were having so much fun talking that we didn’t get to many cards. So I’m going to quickly answer as […]

Q My wife and I have a decent sex life. Pretty vanilla, but we’re busy with work, chores and life in general with two small kids, so I can’t complain too much. About a year after having our second kid, I went down on my wife. As usual, we both enjoyed it greatly. Unfortunately, about […]

Q Fortyish straight white dude here. I have this weird (possibly misogynistic) belief that, when it comes to sex, I can’t win. Actually, I think men in general can’t win. Thoughtful, well-meaning men at least. It comes down to this: During sex, if the man doesn’t come, it’s the man’s fault, because he clearly has […]

Q I’ve been reading your advice column in The Coast in Halifax for awhile, and it seems that most solutions to relationship problems revolve around sex. Everyone wants it or needs it, we should fuck before dinner or we can spice up our sex life in this certain way to be happy. What about someone […]

Last week, I spoke at the Wilbur Theater in Boston and the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, NY. Audience members submitted their questions on tiny cards before the show, allowing them to remain anonymous while forcing them to be succinct. Here are some of the questions I didn’t have time to get to. Q My […]