Let’s talk about some things. Instead of wondering how Sandra Bullock looks so smooth or when Megan Fox had her boob job or how Blake Lively got her nose did, let’s please mention Jeremy Piven‘s hairline, which was in the middle of his skull during Ellen. Or Steve Carell, whose spray-on hair is awfully low-rent for a guy that rich.
Or how about Michael Douglas? In A Solitary Man, he plays a 60-year-old man who used to be a New York car dealership kingpin, then threw it all away and made bad deals and cheated on his wife (Susan Sarandon, who really needs to stop taking every indie role that is thrown at her on the subway). Secretly, he had an abnormal EKG and expected to die. Cut to six years later and he’s got no money, no prospects and has lost all the respect that used to fuel him. He reprimands his daughter (Jenna Fischer—dude, stop being in movies just for the sake of being in movies. You’re better than that) for calling him “Dad” in public, and instructs her son to call him “Captain Ben” instead of “Grandpa.” Ben takes the daughter of his girlfriend (Mary-Louise Parker, wasted) on her college interview and they sleep together. (Yes: EW.) The girlfriend is well-connected—it’s why he’s dating her—and she shuts down his entire life, from his proposed new dealership to his cash flow, even a move to Boston.
So Douglas has had a facelift, we know this. What’s annoying is it actually works for this character, who refuses to accept his age, and that he’s not powerful anymore. But there’s something so offside about 62-year-old Sarandon letting herself age naturally (not always gracefully; see: inappropriate cleavage), while Douglas looks younger than himself in Wall Street.
The movie is fine. I’m sure there’s a contingent of wealthy men with trophy wives who’ll be like “DUDE THAT IS MY LIFE.” Me? I’m just annoyed to see Olivia Thirlby.
This article appears in Sep 17-23, 2009.
Get some windex, girl! There’s no freakin’ way Douglas looks younger than he did during his “Wall Street/Fatal Attraction” hey day 22 years ago. He couldn’t pass for his ‘American President/The Game” days either. He’s a 60+ year old man and looks it despite the obvious work he’s had done. But here’s the clincher, he’s still a damn fine actor regardless of his having aged. As for Sarandon, she’s got a body that won’t quit so why not show it off — “inappropriate” cleavage and all? Most women could only hope they look as good as she naturally does when they reach her age. And I for one commend her for not feeling the need to go under the knife. Why mess with perfection? And this is coming from a 32-year-old man who would be more than happy to call Sarandon my woman than some vapid airhead like Megan Fox or some needy broad like Jennifer Aniston or some nutjob like Lindsay Lohan.