Get over yourself. The franchise that defined vampires for a generation (deal with it) and gave insufferable blowhards something to complain about comes to a close; bowing out with this astonishingly shallow entry that manages to squeeze a satisfactory amount of bonkers from its wispy plot. To stop the dark lord Michael Sheen, who seeks to kill Kristen Stewart for her sexual escapades, Bella and Edward (real life’s Robsten) must assemble some of earth’s mightiest heroes—including The Last Airbender, Dracula and Bunk from The Wire. Together they’ll need to harness their mutant powers and team up with giant puppies if they’re ever to protect the chosen one from an army of Death Eaters. None of that is altogether inaccurate. Pottery Barn also stars as set design. Go see it, or don’t. Just shut up about it already.
This article appears in Nov 15-21, 2012.
Apparently there is a big “twist” at the end. I haven’t seen any of the movies or this one but am curious what the big deal is? *spoiler* away…..
Cranky – Bella wakes up to find Mitt Romney taking a shower. “Honey” she says” I just had the strangest dream”
He laughs and says “I’m nuking Iran today. How about a hummer?”
Hi Cranky! I’d love to fill you in.
SPOILERS!!
Anyway, that big battle I allude to between the heroes and villains? In the novel that’s all happening via one of Ashley Greene’s character’s visions. But since the books are from Bella’s POV it’s not really described at all. From what I’ve gathered, the director and writer here wanted to have something, anything happen in the climax of their franchise rather than two people talking. So they opted to put the whole fight in. There’s another added twist to that which is spoiled lots of other places, but is genuinely laugh out lough funny. I’d recommend just going in blind from here.