Rule #1: Catwalk
Avoid wearing anything too slinky or sexy—this isn’t Halloween, you hussy. Instead, add a sparkly belt or perhaps a fancy hairdo.
From Animal Hairstyles D.I.Y. (a do it yourself guide), Sonia Edworthy
Rule #2: Well bread
Never show up to a party empty-handed, as accurately demonstrated here. George Costanza: “So you’re telling me instead of being happy to see me they’re going to be upset because I didn’t bring anything.” Jerry Seinfeld: “The fabric of society is very complex, George.”
From 30-hour sloth, Sarah Wayward
Rule # 3: Killer party or party killer?
As a host, make time to talk to all your guests. Always add something interesting to party conversations, but keep it light. Avoid controversial subjects such as veganism, politics or sex. Music is good. Art too. Did you know…?
From Favourite Myths of Artists, Laura Kenins
Rule #4: Tricks are treats
It’s always handy to have a couple of tricks up your sleeve to get that party started! Avoid using accelerants or pets, but just in case, memorize the fire exits and don’t forget to stop, drop and roll.
From The Maritime Survival Guide #1: a compilation of party tricks and shit, Jesse Walker
Rule # 5: Hey Mister DJ
When a guest at a holiday party, don’t try to take over the stereo. Some hosts get really angry when you start fiddling with their knobs. If you have a musical request, always ask nicely.
From Twiggy Astronaut, issue 3, Elise
Rule #6: Lather up
All that socializing can be damaging to your skin, you party queen. Don’t forget to hydrate!
From DIY Facials, taken from DIYinHPX, Lia Coleman
All of these zines and many more can be found at the Anchor Archive Zine Library, 5684 Roberts, open Sunday 2-5pm and Tuesday 6-9pm. www.myspace.com/anchorarchive
This article appears in Dec 21-27, 2006.
