Some guy overheard some kids saying breakdancing wasn’t cool anymore and now we all have to suffer. In this near-incompetent, half-assed “fictionalization” of Planet B-Boy (a “dope” documentary that’s “like our Bible” from which many clips are shown), Lost’s Josh Holloway does a Drunk History version of Coach Eric Taylor (catchphrase: “You are champions. Be champions!” Uh, ok) as he assembles America’s dream b-boy team for the annual Battle of the Year in France, which has been won by Korea for awhile. (The double horror.) Anyway the dance sequences are cool—though look a little off in regular D—but the talking/character development/gender parity/pointing a camera is sub-film school, plus it does the world the complete double disservice of casting Chris Brown and making him likable. Proof that any movie can get made somehow.
This article appears in Sep 19-25, 2013.
