…how nice for you, but I was at the Superstore too. I heard the conversation and what that guy called you…he was a douche…but guess what? He was right. Regardless of who ‘got there first’, obviously there was a miscommunication. He kindly offered you go ahead. You cuold have just said, “Thank you” You got what you wanted anyway right? But no. You had to turn on your inner c*nt and bark like the bitch he said you were. He was a total a$$hole to call you the name out loud. But he wasn’t wrong about the fact that that’s exactly what you are-a f*ckin’ b*tch. Oh, and kudos to your ‘knight in shining armor’, that little guy whose only defence was to hide behind you. You should all be ashamed for putting all of that negative energy into Christmas time. Merry Douchemas to all, and to all a f*ckin’ b*tch night.
—Still looking for that ‘holiday spirit’

This article appears in Dec 17-23, 2009.

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17 Comments

  1. yeah, don’t you all love this time of year. most of the assholes act like they never said shit,for a few days, then back to their miserable fucking selves for the rest of the year. i hate the phony do gooders and nice smiles that are really forced by this event. and personally, i could do without all the merry christmas’ i get while in stores. it is just another big commecial rip off fucking day.if you wanna be nice, then do it, but all year, not just a few days out of it. and the kids are the worst ones yet,with a grand in electronic shit there fr them, they look at you and say, straight faced, is that all i got? just makes you wanna hug some, til they pass out, for good. and oh, let’s not forget santa claus, you know the guy they hire for minimum wage, pop him some booze and a few happy pills and let him feel up your kids, in the name of christmas. trust me, it happened, and still does. most kids don’t say much,for fear he won’t give them anything. i actually know a bunch of people this has been done to. but other than that, have a good one, and wonder if this column will be open on the big day. how about it andy?

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  3. I went to that big store you have to ‘join’ yesterday !
    The love & christmas spirit was everywhere..>sarcasm<
    I was just picking up food & CANDY 😉
    it was very nice to leave. I feel sorry for the employees who have to attempt to keep order in the clothing section !

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  4. i hope you bought a kayak to go with your candy…that place is weird me ma buys me parm when she goes…but it is cheerless

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  5. The solution is to have all your Christmas shopping done before the last week of Christmas. And do your grocery shopping on the 24th just before the grocery stores close (when all the sales happen and the stores are almost empty).

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  7. Them fuckers _ kill em with kindness – apoligize for her misplaced tampon – slap on the biggest smile ya can and wish her a merry xmas – that fuckin irks people !!!! Or him for that matter – totally apoligize about his big fat wife that hasn’t put out since 2005 – wish him a 12 pack of beer and a free hooker and carry on .

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  8. This thread looks pretty dead, so I must say…
    ♫ It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
    Ev’rywhere you go ♫

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  10. I just use my character map (an included accessory with Windows). Just point at the symbol you want, hit select, and it automatically pastes to your clipboard.

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  13. ♫ County music on the farm…♫
    ♪ never did no-one no harm,♪
    ♫ ‘less Obama takes our guns…♫
    ♪ ‘n’ glo-bell warmin’ cooks our buns…♫

    hey, thnx HKM, I can use this on Huffington!

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  15. NEVER go to the store you have to join on weekends or Thursday or Friday evenings. That’s when all the arseholes come out to play. I like going Monday or Tuesday afternoons. Nice and quiet then 🙂

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