Be the first to know about breaking news, articles, and updates.
The Coast | News, events, restaurants, concerts and Burger Week for Halifax, Nova Scotia
Home of the Best of Halifax Reader's Choice Awards, the award-winning independent newspaper covers the Halifax news, politics, events, concerts, movies, restaurants, and nightlife scene.
To the middle aged man behind the deli counter in a certain grocery store who referred to me as “his little honey.” I am nobody’s honey, least of all YOURS, and if I wanted my food with a side of sexist, patronizing drivel, I’d ask. —Busy brainstorming snarky replies for next time
This article appears in Jul 24-30, 2014.
28 Comments
Well, clearly you’re not a
Just chill out there, sweetheart!
He’s just tryin to be friendly, not to rain on your parade but to him you’re not his either, he’s actually got about 25 of “his honies” that come in during any given day to have a slice of his salami, Back when i was a butcher i’d call every gal i’d encounter “darlin” and no one ever freaked out at me and it sounds worse than “honey”. Since when did calling someone honey become sexist in the slightest? even if the context was possessive… wtf how is it sexist? If you want him to call you Ma’am then grow a pair and tell him to call you that.
k guys its not the end of the world but its really not nice. when you’re a woman and older men/men in general frequently talk down to u just cause you’re female presenting/ have long hair.. to be addressed as ‘sweetie’ ‘dear’ ‘hun’ starts to get really aggravating and feel belittling. usually when its from older folk i’m not too upset because they’re older and most often mean well. still though, i get this kind of address all the time and it feels annoying and sexist. those are just words that i don’t relate to, and just because i’m a woman, should not be used. you wouldn’t call a man ‘sweetie’ or ‘your little honey’, please don’t use it for me. women- we have the right to be pissed off and annoyed about this.
Confused Cats Against Feminism:
http://confusedcatsagainstfeminism.tumblr.…
Here’s one for free:
You are a middle aged man who works at a deli.
Easy on the processed meats, toots, you don’t wanna get fat!
Shut the fuck up, prissyrainbow. Who appointed you the spokeswoman for all womanity? Please don’t speak for me, I can make up my own mind what I like and don’t like. How about next time this happens, express your displeasure to them. That way we won’t have to listen to your whining.
The Taint. Yes and yes to everything you just said.
I can see how it would be annoying to be called pet names by strangers though, being as such that I genuinely dislike most people. For example, I hate it when people call me “Bud”, “Buddy”, “Pal”, etc.
When somebody hails me with a diminutive nickname, I just glower and say, “You don’t call Moby Dick a minnow now do ya?”
lol, in Alaska and texas the waitresses call everyone hon or darlin’. male, female, kids, oldsters. big flipping deal.
if the old dude was reaching under your skirt when he said that – different matter.
if the old dude offered your sandwich for free if you sat on his face – different matter.
if it bugs you that much tell him off.
i called someone a sexy beast today, tho she wasn’t a stranger
^^ help! help! I’m being oppressed!
And it’s demeaning to me as a man that some woman behind the counter has the gall to call me sweetheart or honey. People have to lighten the fuck up.
LOL! I was using my phone – lovely thing, but I’m too old to use it correctly – to comment yet only the first few words posted (yes, I know, it’s me and not the phone).
Now, what I don’t understand is how I get 6 dislikes (and 3 likes) on an incomplete comment…
And WHO is a fucking dummy?
Oh, and BTW, if it was a gay guy saying that to you, it would be okay. So get the fuck over it double-standard bitch.
Fuck off bitch. He wasn’t coming on to you and I bet dollars to donuts that he calls all the women honey, just like I know female servers who call all men hon. It is not sexist. It is people like you who have fucked things up in this world. You take a phrase and try to make something evil out of it. The only thing evil is your mind trying to make something out of nothing.
INCORRECT CITATION
While, completely understandably, the poster found the behaviour of the middle (sic) aged (hyphen required for all adjectival phrases) man behind the deli counter at a certain grocery store who referred to the her as “his little honey” to be sexist, patronizing drivel, the correct citation, since the poster is directly quoting the middle-aged man behind the deli counter, should have been “my little honey.”
Presumably the middle-aged man, like the rest of us, does not refer to himself in the third person. An appropriate response, of course, should have been I’m not “your little honey.” Note the variation in the possessive pronouns which must be appropriate in respect to the speaker.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
In the off chance that the objet of Fiona Feminazi’s bossy little tantrum is reading this, – here’s a good way to switch it up a bit and mess with her at the same time:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvqYDjyQSvE
Oh for fuck sakes.
You need to procure a life a lot more than you need to procure cured meats, OB.
Sounds like a major over-reaction to a minor inter-generational difference of cross gender inter-relationship identities.
I have no idea what I just said but my bigger concern is OB’s addiction to cured and processed meats. Careful or you will end up being his little jelly roll.
The man behind the counter was not trying to insult you. Women who serve me often call me “bbaby”, “honey”, “sweetie” or similar. They’re not trying to insult me, or exert some claim on me. They’re being friendly and polite. From your point of view these women are sexist man-haters.
They’re not. They’re just being polite, especially as members of an older generation who was raised this way.
Recasting politeness and friendliness as sexism and misogyny serves no purpose other than to encourage people to be snarky and rude in the future.
Grow up and get a thicker skin. If calling you “honey” is sexism, you’ve got a hell of a lot to learn about the real world, its horrors, and the challenges faced by women who are actually oppressed.
Excellent post, Guitarzan.
Chill the fuck up. People have become too fucken emotional and political. It’s a term of endearment. I call people honey, sweetie and love all the time.
Fuck what we become…
“And how’s my little pecker today?”
Why are so many posts being deleted?
I wonder if this post will be deleted for asking.
Cause the mod sucks a homeless mans nutsack!!!
Honey, sweetie, darlin’ . . . . He’s older, by a lot. You’re younger, by a lot. To him you’re a kid. To you, he could be your father or grandfather. He’s trying to relate to you the same way he does to other kids in his life–certainly not in the way you’re imagining.
Calling people affectionate nicknames just something some people do to be friendly, especially if they are from a folksier, small-town kind of place.
A lot of middle-aged women say things like that too, in particular to younger people working in stores and restaurants precisely because they don’t KNOW the person, and it’s intended to be a small show of caring and support–they are trying to be “motherly” to someone who is obviously much younger.
Stop getting all bent out of shape over some perceived insult where none was intended. Not every human interaction with the opposite sex or someone older than you is an assault on your dignity.