I understand all of the problems associated with old folk homes. My question to all these loving families who obviously care so much is- Why don’t you keep them at home? To many diapers to change huh, not very pleasent. What about spoon feeding? Uhh Im much to busy for that. Get off your high horses and take care of youre loved ones. If not shut the fuck up and accept that you, yes you, put them there. ohhhh its the province its the workers its everybody except me and my laziness. I have tv to waatch and sleeping in to do, that means im just to busy to care, that is unless i don’t like the service their receiving. My dad taught me long ago that if you want something done right do it the fuck yourself!!! he also taught me that nobody likes complainers, theres always a solution just sometimes YOU, yes YOU, have to work for it, not just say oh the government should do it because I pay taxes. Then all you haters, I say get a job at a home and we’ll see how hard you work after your first back breaking shift and being covered in shit and piss. — living in reality, yup thats me
This article appears in Nov 14-20, 2013.
Listen up, you fucking clueless moron, I looked after my demented mother for 10 fucking years, cleaning up exploding colostomy bags and dealing with her constant hysteria because she wouldn’t leave her house. It was a FUCKING NIGHTMARE, you sack of fermented rat turds, I sacrificed every night and every weekend (while working fulltime) with my husband and child to look after this crazy woman. Thank fuck she was placed into a nursing home. I only wish I could have dropped her off to you, smartass, if only to see how you’d cope with some shit splattered on your smug mug.
Hello Yup,
” I understand all of the problems associated with old folk homes.”
You assume that laziness is the only reason people are put in these homes, but that is far from true.
“he also taught me that nobody likes complainers”
But you didn’t listen, apparently.
“Then all you haters, I say get a job at a home and we’ll see how hard you work after your first back breaking shift and being covered in shit and piss.”
Sure you aren’t the hater? If you’re covered in bodily waste, then you aren’t doing the job properly!Sorry, but I’m not buying this nonsense.
I don’t know anyone who expect their offspring to take on such a burden. I certainly don’t expect or want my family to do that for me.
Every family dynamic is different. If you’re willing to do it and your dad doesn’t mind you wiping his ass, fill your boots. But it’s not for everyone.
What I expect is that people working in that area (or any area for that matter) are treated well by their employers and in turn treat people in their charge with kindness and respect. And let’s face it. It’s a growing industry and people need those jobs.
Look at it as working at a call centre, but full of miserable old fuckers, like me.
Uh huh because those of us who, oh say, have to work full time can really look after a dementia patient who needs 24 hour care. Considering you can’t even put a legible sentence together, OB, i doubt you really grasp what kind of care goes into looking after someone with dementia. It’s not about sleeping in or watching tv, it’s about being away from your residence for more than 1/3rd of the day and needing sleep at night to be able to function at a job. Dementia patients often get up and disappear in the middle of the night and in nursing homes will live on secured floors with staff up and awake monitoring them 24 hours a day.
And some people can’t physically care for a person because they might be older themself and unable to transfer someone from a bed to a chair, or lift them to change and bathe them.
And homecare personal care and nursing only covers so much.
So shut your uneducated trap, ob.
Based on your presumptuous attitude, you’re the one who needs to get off their high horse. Not everyone can afford to stay at home and take care of their parents, especially if they have a whole family to support, and sometimes the medical needs of the individual would be better suited to an “old folks home”, if that’s what you want to call today’s long term care facilities. And while I’m not naive enough to believe that there aren’t lazy people out there, it doesn’t mean that you care for your loved ones any less if you put them in a home.
Also, your dad’s advice, that if you “want something done right to do it the fuck yourself” is exactly what’s wrong with this society. The attitude that it’s everyone for themselves and that you can’t rely on your community to support you in times of need is ridiculous and it’s one of the main reasons that we will never be able to overcome many of our pitfalls.
It makes so much more sense now!
And silly me, I thought that there were people who had to have jobs to pay the bills and keep a roof over their heads, so staying home with someone who needs constant care wasn’t feasible.
I also forgot that there are absolutely NO elderly people who make the choice to enter such facilities because it gives them the opportunity to socialize with people their own age and not have to feel like a burden.
I had my dad live with me for 9 years and while he had his mental issues, I dealt with them. I tried my best to accommodate him to hospital and doctor visits, getting groceries,etc. Then one day he decided to have his own place and I watched his life go downhill from there to the point he needed 24/7 care in a nursing home….I’d trade all I am and have to have him still living with me.
What ever happened to families wanting to keep their family unit together and family values.
OP, how would you feel when that age hits you and your kids have forsaken you? Grow up.
You were fortunate to have a good relationship with your dad, Klyde – I did not have the same with my mother who was a hysterical tyrant before and after dementia – she exhausted me in life – I was only freed from her when she died on my birthday two years ago at the age of 96.
My dad died in 1971 at the age of 61. There’s seldom a day that goes by that I don’t think about him. My mother, very rarely.
I told my kid to put me in a home if I go wonky – I would never, ever in a million years, put her through what I went through. Nope, not going to do it.
Thanks TT….My dad passed away 4 years ago and to this day I can be sitting at home and something about my dad would start the waterworks going….my dad wasn’t around much of my life but I loved him like no other.
And on the other side of the coin, TT. I bet we could both tell and relate horror stories of moms.
Obviously written by someone with younger parents… and who has no idea what level of care is required when someone is elderly…
I have a feeling your ‘ole Dad will teach you another lesson as he ages… happy spoon-feeding (and all) OB!
You’re probably right about that, Klyde – we used to call my mother ‘Attila the Bun’. She was also the source of my life-long distrust of females. Doctors would have diagnosed her as bipolar today. In those days, she was just batshit bonkers and made my childhood a chronic, anxiety-ridden misery.
Are you coming to the next Summit? I’m simply itching to meet you, Klydester.
Most definitely TT..the pleasure will be mine….something got me thinking of olives again, lol. I have trust issues as well which I believe stems from actions of my mom, I’ll save that till then.
OB it seems you really do not understand squat about the true ‘reality’ of looking after an elderly person on an ongoing long-term basis, especially if dementia, or other health needs, that require 24/7/365 care are involved. Many families often do as much as they can and for as long as they can, but often a point is reached when a person may have to go into a care facility. Then, yes, that person should be properly cared for when they are there and families are within their right to be angry when they see that care is not being properly done, and attempt to have that changed. Also, many people are paying large amounts of money to be in these facilities, they are not all fully there on the taxpayers dime. Those places are not Club Med by a long shot. There are good ones but there are horror shows too and they should be ‘outed’ and in fact closed down. Pray you do not have to end up in one, perhaps you have planned not to by training someone in your family to take you on for 24/7/365, if it becomes necessary. I would not want to do that to any of my relatives, not that I have any around here who would do it anyway.
So what do those old folks do who can’t care for themselves when the adults in the home to go work? Because, since you OBVIOUSLY live in reality, you must be aware that diapers and medicine cost MONEY. These people need 24 hour care. WHo provides that when people are working? And if nobody is working, who pays the bills?
Your version of life is very easy. You obviously have ZERO clue about the responsibilities of being a grown up. So I’ll explain:
Most adults MUST work at least 8 hours a day to keep a roof over their heads, bills paid, and people fed. To say nothing of the debt most of them manage to rack up before their parents even get this old. These elderly, in contrast (You know what contrast means, don’t you?) need full time, 24 hour care and someone always keeping an eye out for them. Changing them, bathing them, keeping them safe, happy and healthy.
And by the way. When you are talking about a quantitative limit, it’s “TOO” not “TO”
You have a long way to go. You haven’t arrived yet.
Looks like i’m about the 10th person to say exactly what i said in my last comment.
See, op doesn’t live in a world where people have responsibilities. Someone else pays op’s bills. Ironically, op is likely a huge burden on his or her parents and doesn’t realize it because op is still a selfish kid and hasn’t grown up yet..
Tell us op, speaking of burdens, who pays for this magical life of yours where nobody has to work? Who is dipping into your folks’ retirement fund they have set aside so they don’t wind up in a place like this?
No, don’t answer. You aren’t even aware that people HAVE to earn a living. So someone else is mortgaging their old age to keep you in your blissful state of ignorance. Being able to devote 24 hours a day to caring for a loved one is a LUXURY, you idiot. A luxury most people DO NOT HAVE.
In op’s world people don’t work, they do, you know, like whatever.
People like you are the worst kind of person. Telling the world off for doing exactly what you do.
This bitch is ridiculously stupid, obviously written by an idiot living in an idiot’s reality.
That’s really the only way I can rationalize the writingof this bitch.
I hope I get put in one of those homes with a grow-op.
I sense OP is letting off steam concerning the family of some elderly people that he/she cares for at their job. The problem is the gross generalization made in this bitch. Most elderly folks committed to a home have children in their fifties and sixties many of which work and cannot give the care needed because of that.
Your bitch should IMO have addressed specific persons not most people because the latter invalidates the entire post.
“hope I get put in one of those homes with a grow-op.”
Senor, why do you think the OP is so P.O.ed? His dreams of being the “Heisenberg” of the blue rinse and bingo crowd have gone up in smoke. >; )
Ivan, your new moniker would suggest that you were once a bad guy turned good….just like old westerns and wrestling. I’m waiting for the real Ivan to come back to the DARKSIDE. Lol
I just had a fantastic idea.
Op. YOU should be this person. I’m not kidding. Get your PCW license (That’s “personal care worker”) and offer your services to family who really DO want to keep their elderly or infirm family at home but MUST WORK. I mean let’s be honest. The pay isn’t great. The hours are ridiculous. You have to touch body parts that probably look a LOT better on TV than real life. And for your effort, you get cussed out, beaten up, hair pulled and skin bitten. Daily. All day. Every day. Food gets thrown at walls after you spent three hours getting it ready. Pills don’t get swallowed. Spat at you if you’re lucky. Hidden in a mattress crack if you’re not. But if they don’t take them, it’s your fault. Don’t expect many thank yous. Expect death. Lots of death. Expect that the ones who die are always, for some horrible reason I still haven’t put my finger on, the ones you bond with the most.
This is the right thing to do.
Back when i thought I might like to be a doctor, I did this. I did home care. And it’s pretty much par for the course what i’ve described. But all that’s ok right? Because it really is the right thing to do. Sacrifice yourself so this FAMILY can have some peace. I mean, this is your expectation, right? My solution is perfect in achieving that.
Then you can care for them while their families earn the money to pay you.
Problem? Solved.
What’s that? You’re doing a theater degree right now? Oh. I see. Well then. I guess your life IS more important after all. Never mind.
Ha ha Klyde – I’ve always been a pretty rotten sort. The new moniker goes with my av. – those cats really wail.
And you DO need a license. Because not everybody is equipped to deal with a special needs patient. INCLUDING THEIR OWN FAMILIES.
That’s another point you neglected to realize. These people need specialized care. And specialization takes training and understanding and a very strong sense of objectivity. Doctors, for example, are highly discouraged from working on friends or family except in extreme emergency situations. Being at home with frustrated, overworked family is a recipe for neglect, abuse and misery.
Op, if this is happening in your family right now I really, REALLY can sympathize because I’ve seen it happen to lots of families. And it hurts and it’s hard. But when it hurts, you can’t see this objectively. If the facility your loved on is in isn’t meeting their needs, something has to be done.
So why shouldn’t YOU also do something instead of just blaming everyone else? Can’t YOU carry ANY of this responsibility? Can’t YOU sacrifice like others are sacrificing? This should have occurred to you at least once and I half wonder if you’re not bitching yourself out.
Go to a nursing home and read to these people. Spend time with them. Become friendly with them. Give them some attention they so desperately crave. Even that little gesture means the world to them. If it means this much to you, you’d be a monster not to at least try. Everyone has spare time. Cram some of your spare time full of this. It is rewarding as hell.
Are you stupid? Most people with elderly parents who need round the clock care aren’t living in huge one story houses with double wide doorways for their scooters and actually work for a living and are therefore unable to care for their parents. Nursing homes are expensive as fuck and anyone who had the time and resources to care for their parent at home would before putting them into a long term care facility. It’s a very difficult and guilt laden decision for most people but when they are working, living in an inaccessible home and raising their own children what is there to be done? You sound like a supreme asshole.
You’re a fucktard. People in nursing homes require 24/7 supervision, often have multiple medical conditions that require someone with specialized medical skills nearby. I would guess that the majority of people in “old folks’ homes” have dementia, an illness that time-stressed families cannot reasonably be expected to contend with.