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Sweetheart, did you photoshop yourself or was that picture taken 6 sizes ago? Not impressed with your looks or your lies. Oh, why are you still texting me? We met once, 2 fucking weeks ago. I never replied to one of your messages since our meeting. Are you stupid as well? —Frustrated Single Dude
This article appears in Aug 8-14, 2013.
89 Comments
Here’s an idea, broheim: Why don’t you tell her you’re not interested instead of just ignoring her?
Agreed, grow some balls and tell her you’re not into it. It’s over text anyway, not that difficult.
Plus, it’s not only women who are deceitful.
Deceitful men like to fish too,evidently so do cowardly men.
Expectations are planned disappointments. Did you really expect to find a prime cut at this on-line discount meat market? They really should rename that site ‘Plenty of Fools’.
It seems so bleeding obvious that you would be doing yourself and her a favour by saying you’re not interested and to stop messaging. That would require effort though wouldn’t it?
OB contiue to ignore her see how long it goes on for …. Keep a record on your calender , Who knows how long she’ll keep it up , every week mark her down another 10 points on the ‘ intelligence meter’ when she hits negative numbers . Then let us know 😉
hahaha does her name start with K??
This, likely, coming from someone who is attractive, compassionate, wealthy, educated, and a non-superficial douchebag, right? Betcha!!!!!
POF- Only pictures from the neck up.
Wow, did this girl ever dodge a bullet!
She doesn’t seem to be dodging anything….. she seems to be chasing the bullet
Also: How is HE the douchebag? It was her that lied about herself? Maybe he isn’t attracted to larger women. So when women lie about their size it’s not going to go well for them. I like a fit guy so if a guy posted a fit pic I would check him out, if he showed up 60lbs overweight missing a tooth that used to be there (in the OLD photo) then guess what…. Sorry NOT interrested.
….just be honest people….
Maybe she didn’t lie; maybe what she was wearing in the pic was more flattering than what she wore at the meeting. Maybe the pic was taken at a certain angle that worked in her favour (not purposely)…
But if she did go up 6 sizes since the photo was taken, then the part of the OP’s bitch about the lies is 100% legit.
I still think she’s lucky this guy doesn’t want her anymore. BY his wording of his post, he seems like a bit of an asshole. And I’m sure he has physical attributes that are less than perfect.
I have found the majority of men I’ve spoken to when I was on that dating site are cowards and liars. I’m sure a lot of the women are as well. It’s so frustrating for the (I would estimate) 5-10% of people on there who are genuine, not lying about their looks and are actually looking to meet someone. I finally gave up after speaking with a guy for weeks and setting up a meet. He abruptly canceled the day of and deleted and blocked me from his facebook. I’m still perplexed. Why waste my time and his time? I don’t get it. Anyway, here’s to me…and knowing I don’t need a man to complete myself.
Well I didn’t lie about myself and I married someone that also didn’t lie about themself. 🙂
We both, however had to deal with others that told numerous lies about their looks, employment status, hobbies and even children…. no need people.
I’m glad for you frenchie
No wonder at all that you’re single; you’re a complete ass. Not a half-ass, a full on ass.
putting up misleading photos is a douchebag thing to do. It’s dishonest and rude.
But she’s not the only liar. You can’t even tell her you’re not interested? You’re too young to date obviously because blowing someone off completely is something a cowardly child does.
I pity the fool that winds up with either one of you. You’re both clearly obsessed with appearance and you both lie about it. You’re both pathetic. In a way, you’re a match made in heaven because it looks like neither of you can do any better.
Frenchie how is he the douchebag? Because instead of saying “Dude, i feel you misrepresented yourself” and walking away like a man, he’s just refusing to speak to her again and hiding in the corner like a ratass coward. Then slams her for not reading his mind just like a goddamned 12 year old girl would.
That’s all he did wrong. But it’s pretty huge because it speaks volumes about his character, personality and intelligence. Courage is a huge turn on for me. A guy like this makes it into the loser list. I don’t care what he (thinks) he looks like.
I agree with you TGB. It’s a text ffs. Man up, get your balls out of the jar in the cupboard, reattach them and text her that you aren’t interested.
Superficial asshole….
I suppose he’s not leading her on by ignoring her.
What makes him superficial there Boru?
I’m surprised that you even said ignoring her was not leading her on. Too bad you couldn’t realize that about your own mystery man wanting no part in your “condition”.
“What makes him superficial there Boru?
I’m surprised that you even said ignoring her was not leading her on. Too bad you couldn’t realize that about your own mystery man wanting no part in your “condition”.”
Nukka He cares too much about looks.My “condition”?What do you know of my “CONDITION”?
Ignoring her he’s neither leading her on or telling her he’s not interested.
I agree with just about everyone. Frenchie, I agree that if you mislead someone into thinking you are something that you are not, you shouldn’t be surprised when they learn the truth and are no longer interested.
To the girl OP is talking about: If you’re happy with yourself the way you are then that is what is important at the end of the day. If you’re not happy then put in the effort required to make the changes you think might make you happy. Sometimes it’s a challenge to do this but it’s worth it to try. By posting pictures of yourself that do not offer a potential date a realistic idea of your appearance you might end up with more dates, however, you will continue to be disappointed. If you post an honest picture, you may get less dates but the probability of meeting someone who will accept you for who you are will be much better.
To the OP: Have you never met rejection in your life? Of course you have, you’re on plenty of fish. Do the respectable thing and tell her your not interested. And don’t be a shit-head about it, either. Say: “Hey, I had a good time hanging out with you but I didn’t really feel a connection, sorry.” If she continues to question after that, IMO, you don’t really owe her much else. Personally, I would try and be nice but might lose patience if the messages continued after that.
She’s just lonely – and so are you, OP. Show some class; feel flattered that someone likes you and then put her mind to rest about it…obviously she’s not getting the picture.
Check….If he wasn’t direct enough to tell her to her face he was interested in her in the first place,why think he’s gonna be upfront with her when he tires of her?
And speaking of that WAC..seeing is believing..and at moment I’m not seeing much from where I sit..no explanation this time??
I wouldn’t say he’s leading her on. It’s quite simple, really. If someone isn’t responding to your 1st, 2nd or 50th call or text, he/she is not interested. Period. It’s not rocket science. He’s not being “shallow” if her profile was a complete misrepresentation of who she really is. The only thing that would make him a douche, in my opinion, is if he hit it and quit it.
The way I see it is…If you don’t represent yourself properly and truthfully, you will definitely be taken NOT seriously, not respected and most importantly.. If this person could lie about this, how many more can I expect?
Time to do whatever is necessary OP to distance yourself away, change phone number etc., and slowly slither away.
It comes down to who can you really trust these days?
“It comes down to who can you really trust these days?”
Those people who tell you to place your trust in them ,are the ones who end up hurting you the most.
Some people actually misrepresent themselves on those dating sites by making themselves look worse than they really are.
Since I don’t believe in things being THIS much of a coincidence I would say this post may actually be about me. I hate to believe it but it may be true. Certain events have come to pass this evening. Mainly the receipt of a message suggesting I photo shopped pictures of myself to post on an online dating site.
The information has been altered. It was to be a meeting at a certain place which he suddenly couldn’t make and it was 2 days ago, but the rest is the same. He saw me, told me tonight around 8pm after I texted him(only the 4th time over 2 days btw) that he in fact had seen me and said he left because he thought I photoshopped myself in my pictures( I had not) and that he wasn’t interested in “fat women” but only “women with curves” as he had previously expressed to me. I had sent him a few full body shots and I was pretty sure they are representative of my shape and size, and one of them clearly wasn’t the most flattering as it was in my work uniform.
My above comments still stand but I will add the following. You sir, are a scumbag and a shame to the others who serve this country. I thought men in the military were supposed to have courage and honour. You have neither.
Before some of you decide to troll my comment and start talking about fatties and all that shit…go fuck yourselves. I’ve never hidden the fact that I am what I am. I’d rather enjoy my food a little too much than be a relentless douchebag that makes others sad or miserable like the OP.
Double post
I thought this video explains a little bit the reason why some people are deceitful on dating sites.
http://www.upworthy.com/loneliness-illustr…
and oh yeah…I hope someone that works at sin on skin reads this and tattoos a giant dick into your tattoo you’re getting work done on in September since you were too much of a pussy to get it all done in one sitting and just got the outline.
ch eeses sheila just get the fuk c over your imaginery guy ,ffs.i swear you coul d make a bus bitch all about you .
EVRYONE MAY I HAVE YOUR ATENTION -sheila thinks people on plenty of turds are tuanting her and conspirng againts her .
the re .now you dont have to bring it up every ten minutes .holy fuk.
If you are referring to me as sheila the veteran bitchers here know I’m not and that is in fact me in my picture.
voice.. nobody has to be attracted to women (or men) of any size. Him not wanting to date a woman who looks a certain way doesn’t make him a scumbag. He’s merely limiting his options.
If this is the guy who wrote the bitch, then by your assertion, he actually DID tell you why he wasn’t interested. So there you go! I’m sure he read the comments here and decided to man up and grow a set. Which is good so why now trounce him for being honest?
As the only girl in the history of time other than the fictional Libby who’s Lost crush was Hurley, i saw the looks that so called body-positive people gave me when i brought it up. If women have a right to not want to date men with a few extra pounds, men have the right to make the same judgment.
Not that you look like you have a few extra pounds. But i’m just saying.. for WHATEVER reason he’s not attracted to you so move on and find someone who suits you better.
Yes he sure does have that right. I’m saying the op here was an asshole and I’m also saying that pretending to not be able to meet someone for a date and literally running like a bitch instead of saying it to my face is cowardly and rude.
Goodnight y’all. I’m now choosing to think of him as just another dingleberry on the asshole of life…lol
Yes Punky she wasted too much time and effort on an asshole who probably trolled the internet for pickup lines to use on certain women.A guy who would play a lot childish fucked up games and manipulate women then deny it all in the end needs professional help himself.
…I heard my “imaginary” man has a history of manipulating certain women….Yes I was doe eyed because I thought he was sincere.I was wrong.
Now twist my words to suit yourselves.
BTW Punky your a pro. at twisting others words to suit you or what you want others to believe.
Complain to POF about people who grossly misrepresent themselves.They will have their account deleted.Then won’t be able to rejoin unless they know how to change their IP address.
i know you re not sheila voice of t .you seem like a very nice person .i have no problem with any thing you say here .
sheila /boru /wahtacrock has a habit of flirtin g on the board , scarign the guy , then completely losing it and screaming at every one .if you can find the boru per sonaliuty archived its all there .i dont recomend it though its frightening . she has all bus stalked a coupl e members of the forum and even showed up at ones house .shes a dangerou s narcisist .
i was talkign to you sheila .you contineu to bring up th e guy you were sleepign with who you claim was harasing you on p of turds .you wrote a series of L oves and B itches abou t him .after claiming you ‘leanred your lesson ‘ you stopped talking about him for a month ,and now you re obsesively talking about him agian .
no one fuckign cares about him except you .notice im only here when you are acting up .see a corelation ?
dont care if you do .you re anoying us ,i annoy you .
im a pro at tellign you to fuckyour self .
sheila /boru /wahtacrock has a habit of flirtin g on the board , scarign the guy , then completely losing it and screaming at every one .if you can find the boru per sonaliuty archived its all there .i dont recomend it though its frightening . she has all bus stalked a coupl e members of the forum and even showed up at ones house .shes a dangerou s narcisist .
Showed up at one’s house,Punky you have such a vivid imagination.Whose house am I accused of going to. lol
i was talkign to you sheila .you contineu to bring up th e guy you were sleepign with who you claim was harasing you on p of turds .you wrote a series of L oves and B itches abou t him .after claiming you ‘leanred your lesson ‘ you stopped talking about him for a month ,and now you re obsesively talking about him agian .
No I’m talking to you punky.it‘s YOU who is talking about him.YOU could be my I’m attempting to defend myself but,again you are a pro. at twisting my words to suit you.
So Punky you say you only come out when I talk about him,why?YOU could be him.
you r last paragraph make s no sense .what is ‘ YOU could be my I’m attempting to defend myself ‘ ?
hu h ?
Sorry correction
“No I’m talking to you punky.it‘s YOU who is talking about him.YOU could be him??I’m attempting to defend myself but,again you are a pro. at twisting my words to suit you.”
VOT – first let me start by saying that you’re not a bad looking gal so don’t be too hard on yourself. Second, my unsolicited advice:
Get off of Plenty of Fish. I go on online dating sites once ever 6-7 months or so, keep my account up for a few weeks, meet a few people and then delete it again. There is so much energy involved in going to meet new people and trying to find a connection. It’s too forced and there’s too much room for people to judge others on superficial qualities first, before getting to know what they’re really like as people. Even just chatting back and forth online getting to know someone a bit is draining. If you HAVE TO date online, try OKcupid. At least the people who created the site made it funny and you answer a bunch of odd/interesting questions and get matches based on how much you might have in common with people who answered similarly to you.
My approach (after an LTR that ended about year ago with someone I met online – who taught me the definition of the term psycho) is to be single and enjoy it! The grass is always greener on the other side. People who confine themselves to the world of online dating are trying to take the easy way out and find that perfect relationship quickly and easily. Think about it.
The advantages to online dating:
1. You know the person you are talking to is single and looking.
2. You have time to read their profile and get an idea of what they think of themselves and what they are looking for.
3. You can put thought into the messages you send/reply to word them exactly the way you’d like. In real life you might say something stupid, god forbid!
4. If you don’t like someone you can block them from messaging you.
5. There are a lot of profiles to look at and lots of potential dates/relationships.
Disadvantages:
1. People are rarely ever only speaking to one person at a time. More likely they’re chatting with at least 2 or 3.
2. Just like browsing profiles – when you meet in person, given enough time, you’ll find you’re just meeting the same people over and over and over again.
3. People lie. Not just about their appearances but about a whole ton of things. Income, living situation, relationship history, likes, dislikes. You don’t have the opportunity to really ‘know’ someone until you’ve met several times.
4. People are horny. Men and women. It is difficult to go on a date with someone the first time you meet them face-to-face and not have to feel like there’s a deadline for sex at some point.
5. People are nuts. They’re all kinds of crazy. Egomaniacs, control-freaks, manipulators, and worse.
SIMILARLY:
The advantages to offline dating:
1. You know immediately whether or not you are attracted to the person you are flirting with. If you’re smart, you know pretty quickly whether or not they are attracted to you as well.
2. You know immediately if there is any chemistry. Without having read a profile and having gone through all the trouble of finding things to chat about, normal human interaction is actually more fun.
3. You can be spontaneous. If you’re chatting up a friend of a friend at a party you can always say “Hey, want to get out of here and go shoot some pool.” Online daters have to adhere to a rigid routine. Chat for a while, think of a place to meet up, think of something to do, set a time and date, go do that thing, then wait until both parties are back at home to figure out if either of you had fun.
4. More interesting. When people in my generation are 60 they’ll all have stories about their first marriage having been some jerk they met on the internet. Only a few will have met their partners while taking kayaking lessons.
5. Contact information. Do you want them to have your number/fb/e-mail etc? Give it to them or don’t give it to them. Online, there’s always ways that a creep can keep contacting you.
The disadvantages of offline dating:
1. Rejection. Seems worse when it happens to your face because now the other person can see your physical reaction and you have to pretend that it doesn’t suck. But hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
2. No information. Are they single? Are the looking? Do they enjoy the same species of three-ringed octopus that you do? Ask.
3. Where to look? Where are all the single people? We’re all hiding in our respective apartments afraid to talk to people who might not like us. Dating at work is almost always a bad idea. If you’re like me 98% of your friends are taken and all their friends are idiots.
4. That’s it. There are only three disadvantages for this one.
I could write a whole other section on the advantages/disadvantages of being single vs in a relationship but it’s 1:00 AM, I’ve already put way too much thought into this and am getting to the point where I’m starting to sound like a know-it-all, even to myself.
On that note, best of luck and have a good night and don’t let it get ya down, plenty more fish in the….internet.
Great advise Hoist.
BTW You sound pretty smart to me and a pretty good guy.
Yes. I am the guy you claim was stalking you, and with whom you were communicating through Loves and Bitches.
prozak and thor a zine .eat them .
This forum sounds like POF, and you can have at it guys and gals, nothing wrong with self love…imagination goes a long way, and trust me, it’s the safest.
How is this forum like POF? Why so butt-hurt recently?
Very good Hoist. I must echo Crock’s sentiments. That being you’re pretty smart and good guy.
Thanks hoist. I pretty much have done the same as you. I had an account for a few weeks and after that I end up deleting it because it’s so draining. It’s like online shopping where nothing is as advertised. I’m not saying I need someone else to complete myself. I was saying that wasting my time is a real pet peeve of mine…as are liars and cowards.
I actually started my first online account almost 3 years ago and you know what? I would say 90% of the men are the same men that were there then.
I’ve met all kinds, married liars, guys only looking for sex, weirdos, and only one quality guy who I just wasn’t compatible with.
I was on okcupid. There are about 20 guys from NS on it. Lame.
Anyway, by being on online dating I never assumed that automatically some great guy would just appear there. I was using it as an option… not the only means to meet someone.
Jesus, Punky, I’m dying up in here.
I fucking love you. The real you and the punky you.
Perhaps she has lost weight and gone down 6 sizes.
Just saying it’s like POF for ppls comments on here…I’m like you HTR…never needed anyone to complete my life…I’m happy with my life
Plenty of Fish should be renamed Plenty of Bottomfeeders. Why anyone would subject themselves to such a nasty-ass meat market is beyond my humble noodle. From the sounds of it, the men want to get fucked and the women want a commitment – same rules as any bar in town.
Punky, I just lubs you to pieces!
Ditto TTFB. I have too much self respect to ever be on that site…plus never that desperate
and pUnky finds you a delictible little dish ,FoneB .
xoxoxoxoxo
Aw, Punky, you’re just saying that ’cause it’s true. Wish I could blush.
Klyde, I thought you were quite nice to offer to meet up with WAC – guess she’s too skittish to meet you in a public place. I’ll give you credit – you tried.
I always met people through other people/groups – the thought of looking for someone on line is totally repugnant to me. Of course, I’m also as old as dirt and have been married for 30 years.
Thanks TTFB for the compliment. I never had any expectations except a meet and greet coffee with her, a few things she said sort of correlated with my ideals and thought we could be friends, Tuesday I had some free time to give her, not a total loss as I knew a few friends there, other than bums looking for change or cigs every 5 minutes. It was her choice to not take advantage of that. I am still me, and will still be polite to anyone, other than difference of opinion, including WAC… but I believe the obvious answer is she didn’t want a new friend.
I have the patience of Job, but won’t tolerate feeling like I’ve been played with. My days are full enough and my sleep is suffering when alarm goes off at 4.30 every morn.
Funny that you say she’s skittish to meet in a public place, to me that’s perfect.
The patience of job…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVgZqnsytJI
Oh, I totally agree, Klyde – a public place is the perfect spot to meet up with someone new. I did the same thing with Pretty Kitty a few years back and found lifelong friendships among those she introduced me to, including her good self. I honestly feel blessed just knowing these awesome, talented people who make up our Summit group. I luvs them all!
Of course, VOT, I assumed a lot with my ‘essay’ – I was trying to speak more generally, though and not so much about you personally. I haven’t been to any online dating sites in a couple years (except for a stint of curiosity about 2 months ago for a few weeks). Before that, though, I had been on for about 4 years. So I’m just as guilty as anyone when it comes to dating online.
TT, I can certainly see how the thought of online dating can repulse you. I do know two couples who have met online that have since married and they seem very happy. Like VOT said, it’s a good way to broaden your datescope — until it’s not.
I’m the one who posted this.
To all you guys flaming me for my “cowardness” and “assholishness”, keep on flaming. I didn’t think I needed to tell the girl I wasn’t interested. Wasn’t there one logical commenter on my post who said if they don’t answer, they’re not interested? I’ve been using POF off and on for 2 years, and there were a handful of girls I met who I wasn’t into and with every one of them I just never contacted them again. I might of gotten 1 or 2 texts from some of them after we met, but after I ignored they gave up. they got the fucking hint.!
SHE dodged a bullet? Nah I don’t think so, she was the bullet, lying about her weight. It was painfully obvious she got heavier since that photo was taken,
And “voice of treason” your not the one I bitched about, this girl was blond, a dumb blond HA.
LOL I love it when assholes don’t know they’re assholes ^^
PK, couldn’t agree more.
Robot – You are an asshole…but I can see where you are coming from in some regards. If you ignore peoples messages, they should take a hint and not repeatedly contact you until you are forced to answer them with something AFTER ONE MEETING – provided that meeting didn’t involve anything intimate. But people handle rejection differently. What you need to learn is some tact. I think you’re going to be single a while brah
Wassa matter, brah? She laugh at your dick?
gad, give it a truck full of condoms, we don’t want it breeding, do we?
Robotwalks, I don’t think you’re an asshole. I just don’t take these “Bitches” seriously anymore so I mostly post random thoughts.
I tried POF almost two years ago and got a handful of horror stories. Not worth the time or you paying the bill.
and for the (broken) record, I think online search for a partner is a great idea. find your compatibilities, winnow out the can’t stands. it’s work. and 99.99 % of the others will NOT be your match. every day you walk down the street…. are you crushed and discouraged because your ‘soul mate’ isn’t found on every block, each bus, each grocery store queue?
if you want to look further at one out of 100 possibles, that’s pretty good.
my ex husband (l.a.) met his current wife on match.com. they are a wonderful couple, (10 yrs). my son (chicago) met his wife on match as well (10 yrs) . and my daughter (Halifax) met her beau on pof (2yrs).
its what you make of it, and it’s all about you and what you expect. I would say if you are looking for someone to be comfortable and happy with, someone who shares your sense of humour you will find someone.
if you go in with a shopping list of absolute must-haves and a furlong length of deal breakers, well, you are giving yourself a huge handicap.
Hoist “…. I haven’t been to any online dating sites in a couple years (except for a stint of curiosity about 2 months ago for a few weeks).”
Just curious, if that was POF you were on a few weeks ago and if so, did you speak with or meet anyone on there?
jususchristitsnotallaboutyou
I think you SHOULD represent yourself accurately on a website where your appearance is taken into account. But at the same time, those who don’t are a bullet more easily dodged. Once you realize someone is starting things off with a lie, it’s a lot easier to say “Wow.. no thanks” and move on before it hurts.
I don’t mind a bigger guy or a smaller guy or a black guy, short guy whatever.. But i don’t like deceitful people. I don’t want to get involved with them.
I agree TGB, what’s on the outside is superficial at best, people come in all sizes, shape and color. The meats and potatoes is on the inside, and that’s what counts most.
Am I the only one who noticed the ‘dumb blonde’ comment? Hate to burst your bubble, asshoop, but this blonde could run intellectual circles around you. Go have a shit and slide in it, you blondist! Pfft
Right on Nurse… stereotyping..I know all too all. people can fool you on a lot of fronts. Goes back to not judging a book by it’s cover.
What a crock. Nope.
I took a chance going somewhere today hoping a friend would show up, and am glad I did. The coffee as always was good and the conversation was terrific. Many thanks WAC for having the courage to approach, I look forward to a coffee in the future, you know where to find me.
Klyde I owed you an apology.Conversation was good. 🙂
No apology necessary WAC.
Letting her down softly OP? Lol
You have the right idea, if you don’t want her, don’t lead her on.It will hurt her more when she does find out you never cared about her.
Nurse Hezz, lets go to an April Wine concert!
“And “voice of treason” your not the one I bitched about, this girl was blond, a dumb blond HA.”
You’re, not your.
April Wine is a name I haven’t heard in a long time! Love them!
Nurse: theycallmebiscuit@hotmail.com 😛
I’m a classic rock fan, but I know what I like only when I hear it (when I’m reminded of it).
What was April Wines big song back in the day?
FFS read punky’s last comment.
FFS.
Too many great April Wine songs…. O what a night…Tonight’s a wonderful time…Weeping widow…. Fast train.. Drop your guns…the list is endless