Do you even WANT to sell your things?!

I have to assume not, considering out of 10 furniture/appliance ads I’ve asked after, only ONE of you has bothered to respond (thanks, cat lady). The rest of you, wtf? I’ve even emailed the fact that I have real money that I want to give you in case you don’t know how this selling thing works! Either you’re jackoffs or you’re too stupid to set up your email. Either way, I’m frickin’ done. —Sitting on Milk Crates

This article appears in May 23-29, 2013.