To the guy sitting across from me in the library right now. You win, you have the ability to smack your gum louder then anyone I have ever heard before.

If my eyes could shoot lasers right now I’m pretty sure your head would be disintegrated. —Bitter

This article appears in Aug 19-25, 2010.

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10 Comments

  1. Ooh I know your pain. I can’t stand a loud page turner. They put their headphones in and can’t hear how loud it actually is.

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  2. If it’s the Spring Garden Road library, that’s not gum he’s chewing. It’s a used rubber! Gag.

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  3. i’m sitting at the aldeney library listening to the lazy ass staff talk about vacations and the fucking buskers from 50 feet away.

    ten minutes ago it was a baby screaming and not one staff member asked the guy to leave with his baby. sounded like the kid was being tortured for 15 minutes.

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  5. There seems to be a lot of baby and library bitches lately – maybe it’s last years graduating class that were knocked up and just whelped taking their little welfare checks out for some air?

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  7. To all you loud chewers: Put your jiggly jowels on a leash!! I don’t want to hear you masticate any more than I want to see you masturbate!!! I hate you all! I wish loud chewing was a crime; I’d be making citizen’s arrests on a daily basis and you’d all go to prison!

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  8. I don’t know where this chewing stuff came from but I do have a coworker who chews with her mouth open and that’s gross.

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