If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s people who don’t say “Thank you” whenever I hold a door open for them! It really pisses me off! I’m not asking for your life’s blood, nor am I asking for you to bow or curtsy to me. But there are two simple words which should be spoken. Seriously, I’m not kidding here! I’m not shy when it comes to saying “You’re welcome,” when you clearly cannot be bothered to say “Thank you.” Or is that being too much to ask? —Disgruntled Door-Holder in Dartmouth
This article appears in Oct 20-26, 2016.
Stop holding doors for people. Problem solved.
Personally, I think the whole, holding of doors has gotten out of control. Too many times have I had to put hustle in my step because some person is holding a door for me, even though I’m 15′ away. OP, you’re not the only one with the power to open doors. You can take a break now. On behalf of every one… Thank you for all the opened doors.
What Willie said. If something is going to piss you off that much, why continue the same behavior? Try slamming a few doors in the faces of the people behind you – that should make you feel much better.
You don’t know what the other person is going through DDHID. Maybe they are dealing with the death of a loved one. Maybe they just got an alarming diagnosis, or lost their job, or struggle with having to put a beloved and ailing pet down or some similarly mind-numbing mental distraction. Perhaps they are non-verbal or otherwise socially challenged. Is a kindness unnoticed not still a kindness even if not acknowledged to the sufficiency of the one who performs it?
Then again, some people are just ignorant in their response to the little niceties offered by others like you.
The tricky part is determining the difference between the two. Or as previously suggested, stop holding doors.
A variant on this is, when holding the open door behind you, the open door recipient (ODR) slips thru without touching the door.
There is brief moment tho where one can let the door go, and clip the ODR.
A most satisfying moment
“I’m not shy when it comes to saying You’re welcome, when you clearly cannot be bothered to say Thank you. “
You know this makes you a douche as well, right?
Looks like we got a few door holder’s that aren’t able to argue their cause. Dislike.
HODOR
The whole point of holding a door is to give a shit about others. If you think it is about receiving ‘thanks ‘ OP, YOU ARE FUCKING WRONG.
Yeah, you can’t always expect a pat on the back for every good deed you do
Manners should be automatic, you shouldn’t have to THINK about saying Thank You, you should just say it. How many times have you been nudged/bumped by someone else and automatically say ‘sorry’ even though you didn’t do anything? It’s automatic, like turning on a blinker when there’s no one behind you. All the posters above saying ‘don’t open doors’ etc are the reason society is crumbling. If you can’t be a civilized decent human being go move to buttf**k nowhere and live as a lonely bitter hermit. Oh, and when I hold the door and they don’t say thank you, I just say You Welcome anyway….maybe it will make them realize they forgot their manners.
I obviously disagree Junebug, but thank you for at least stating your point of view. Like.
OB, where have you been for the last 30 years? Holding doors open for people has been fraught with rejection anxiety for at least that long. Ask yourself a few questions the next time you’re inclined to do this. First, how far away is the recipient from the door when you think to hold it open? Unless they’re overburdened or are clearly disabled, holding the door if they’re not right there to walk through it is actually presumptuous and borders on microagression (yeah, I’m going there.) If I’m pressured to hurry up and take advantage of your “generosity”, that act feels less like gracious chivalry and more like a demand that I abide by your pace and timetable.
You’re obviously not giving us the full context of your bitch, so allow me to fill in some blanks and correct me if I’m wrong. The people you’re holding the door for are far enough away that you could have gone through that door without them and they would not have felt put out. Or, they’re creeped out by your obvious cry for attention (probably attempted only with females) and do not want to open the opportunity for you to force your microaggressive ways further on them. Clearly, your expectation for reciprocation for your “courtesy” renders your so-called “selfless act of good manners” both disingenuous and vaguely threatening. I’m willing to bet that more than one person, seeing you holding the door and knowing what you’re trying to achieve, has decided either not to enter that door at all or to wait until it’s so awkward for you to hold that door that you ultimately give up so they can enter in peace. Take your MRA/PUA/incel BS elsewhere and start looking in a mirror.
I hold doors for people. I could care less if they say thanks, or run if they’re 15 feet away. I’m doing it to be nice. I don’t expect anything in return.