So we have two cats and now a dog. I’m the only one that changes their damn litter box every day and I’m sick of it. I didn’t even want two cats, I wanted three because kittens are awesome, but not after realizing I’d have to have two litter boxes to change. Now we feed the cats in the basement because of the crumbs and shit all over the kitchen floor, the same floor that I sweep every day. With that said, we give them wet food in the kitchen every second day. Now both these cats are fucking lazy and getting fat, one more than the other. So we feed them and one eats faster and then steals the other’s food. Quite a piss-off because I like the fatter one more, and she’s getting her food stolen by an adopted asshole cat that should learn his place or at least what food bowl is for him. I love the fat one and she’s my hot water bottle this time of year. So I have to police them eating now, I know, fucking waste of time. Then I’m making pasta last night and gave them wet food so they wouldn’t fuck with my meatballs or rub up on my leg. Then what happens, the fucking dog my girlfriend just got comes running in and starts eating their food. I didn’t even want the dog because now I have to buy tennis balls and shit for it to play with. Now back to the meatballs, yup the fat cat is on the counter licking them because I had to put the dog in the yard to save her food. Then I look down and the other cat ate all her food again, so then I put him in the basement and gave more canned food. I ended up making two pots of sauce to finish the meatballs in, one for me, one for the girlfriend. She didn’t notice but is that wrong? It was her stupid dog’s fault. Now, how do you politely say “stop bringing home animals” to a grown woman. I mean, I guess I love her. But I had the fat cat before we met, she got the other one. Now of course I take care of them, on top of keeping the house clean and doing most of the cooking, what the fuck! Now she brings home a fucking dog, don’t get me wrong its cute and shit. But I walk it, feed it, even let it out in the morning while she’s “getting ready” for the day. Then guess what, who buys the fucking food when it always runs out, ME! Now she wants a turtle because I have an old aquarium in the basement. Seriously, I’m not mother nature here, do I let the animals starve for a couple days to wake her up? Or let her lovely fucking puppy destroy the house for a day? But oh yeah, its my fucking furniture! I’m getting really tired of this, it’s like having a kid that brings home all the shiny stuff they find. Don’t get me wrong I like animals, but the where the fuck do you draw the line? —I Even Buy Food From the Vet’s, The Expensive Kind
This article appears in Jan 10-16, 2013.
Don’t get me wrong but do us all a huge favour and don’t breed.
Where’s your woman during all this? Recruiting more pets? They’re a lot of work particularly dogs. You seem to be carrying the whole load with the pets, cooking and cleaning. You mentioned you didn’t want two cats, you wanted three because kittens are awesome which didn’t a whole lot of sense. That’s the thing about kittens,they become cats.
You need to get your girlfriend far more involved in the care of your pets so she understands the work involved if she decides to bring a critter home.
You don’t say it nice, you say “This isn’t a shelter, no more fucking animals”. and if one shows up, take it to the SPCA.
Geez Dr Doolittle doesn’t sound like either of you can handle pets, don’t get anymore and stop laying blame on the animals, their animals doing what comes naturally.
OP – try some clear expectations. When I wanted a dog, but my husband didn’t, we agreed beforehand that the dog was totally my responsibility – food, exercise, vet bills and cleaning up after it. (As well as agreeing that anything the dog destroyed was my responsibility to replace.) When you look at things from this perspective before adding an animal to your home, it makes you damn certain that you are really getting a pet for the right reasons. Probably too late to try and work this kind of arrangement with your GF, besides the fact that she sounds like a crappy pet-owner anyway. Maybe try it with your next GF, because if you don’t get tired of scooping shit all the time, you’ll probably get tired of doing all the cooking and cleaning and realize she’s taking advantage of you in more ways than one.
Lmao @ Ivan!
Trying too hard to be an epic bitch. FAIL. Next.
sounds like there was no attempt to even train these animals.
Sounds like she needs to bring home a new boyfriend and put you in the basement with the fat cat.
Come now… to be fair, the animal quota has quadrupled.
Write up what you do for them so she knows what the hell she needs to do and when…
and then explain they are her responsibility.
Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
Twist the necks of the little ba’tards.
Put them down at the bottom of the basement steps tell everyone it was a terrible freaky cats run/chase accident !
Very tragic ….
Problem solved
You guess you lover her? Apparently you’re almost through with the relationship. Tell her you want an alligator. No pets left except the alligator coughing up fur balls. Then flush it down the toilet so it becomes Mega-Gator!!!
take them all for a walk, and accidently lose them all.
I wasn’t going to comment, but SHIT devil pissed me off. OP, I should be so god damn lucky to have a partner that cleans the litter boxes, and buys the food!
Cats don’t need wet food, unless you are trying to put weight on them, or to help keep them hydrated. It makes their excrement smell much worse. Kibble is all the nutrition they need, and it helps their teeth stay healthy.
Your situation does sound a bit overwhelming, with the meatballs, and all. I think it’s all the dog’s fault. FEED HIM TO THE ALLIGATOR !
I hope you remind your girlfriend of all you do so you can have more sex…..women love that stuff and yes they do barter chores for sex……..! Cash in those brownie points.
ikilled my woggers cat on an accident
Fuck guys instead – its better.
Bring home a pet Rat or Spider. That’ll show her.
oh, i’ll give her a, pet rat. right in herpussy.
oh baby yeah, i’ll giveit to her good. you can have an ol gummer blow, job, too ob.
Oh boo hoo honey, we have a half dozen stank arse pets and we’re both too lazy to take care of em. What ever should we do? Um keep living in fecal colliform filth or leave her. Duh!
You’re cute OP 🙂