Well, it happened again. Almost expected by now. You talk to this girl, share a drink, she seems to show some interest. Later in the night, you make out. And then she tells you that, yep, you’re nice but she’s got an AWESOME BF she ABSOLUTELY loves… Well, thanks, but if I knew that before, maybe I wouldn’t have wasted my time on someone who’s not available.
And that’s only a few drops in the gigantic storm of crap that has been thrown in my directions by girls in this city. I won’t details on the insults you get sometimes when all you’ve done is dare to try to talk to them in a civilized, absolutely not offensive manner.
I’m dead sick as well of the “Maybe I want you, maybe not” game, which seems to be the rule in here.
I start to wonder if they got some kind of deep ancestral revenge to take on men… If that’s true, please know that whoever offended you in the past, that wasn’t me. Isn’t it possible to meet someone here in a casual, friendly manner without falling into the borders of pathology?
Thankfully, I’ll soon go back to my continent of origin, cause I haven’t got the skin thick enough to stand that much longer. —Tired and Frustrated
This article appears in May 13-19, 2010.
so, she has an awesome bf and was fucking you, hmmm. methinks that a little bird,namely you, should accidently mention to bf that you were balling a chick, then go on to describe her to hiom. and don’t forget to throw in that she said he only had a small dick. the icing on the proverbial cake, so to speak. good luck bud, find the dude somehow and let it slip.
take a step back dude and think about just how much bullshit chicks have to put up with… are you actually angry because your ever so charming demeanor and $5 you spend on a drink doesn’t immediately get you laid?! Wow! You’re absolutely right…what courting ability you display…and there are for sure not 200 other guys who have attempted to do the same thing, that night. Yup that sure makes a girl feel special.. oh wait… you are trying to pick up a random chick in a bar!…get real..or go to the dome.
Btw…what is so wrong with having a good convo with someone of the opposite sex! Get control of your libido
By saying that you found the girl interesting but wouldn’t have ‘wasted your time’ on her because she has a bf (or lied and said she did, is my assumption) just shows that you fall into the douchebag category.
Dude, I can guarantee you would have a lot more luck if you didn’t try picking up at a bar.
Bars + Drunken horny girls + Drunken horny guys is not really an ideal situation to find the future girl of your dreams.
Just putting that out there though.
Well, I’m coming out of several weird relationships in a row – not only bar hook-ups, you know. So I felt like bitching. Isn’t it the purpose of this ? It just feels so much better afterward. But feel free to bitch back at me, that’s fair.
For sure, I know that girls go through a lot too. But, yeah, I feel sometimes that I’m getting the change on someone else’s crap.
And btw, it was already more than a convo.
If she made out with you and acted as if she was available, then flips the switch to “I have a boyfriend”, that’s an issue with her. You’re not at fault here.
Except that you’re expecting to find a quality female in a bar. I recommend anywhere but a bar.
Why the crushing shock to your system? A lot of girls play the game just as a lot of guys do. Bar scene or not. Yes, it sucks.
Try to find humor in the situation as cliche as it sounds. Why? You’ll never really know what went wrong anyway. LOL! Might as well laugh about it, learn from it if possible, move on. As opposed to letting it drag you down.
First of all, it’s human physiology. Secondly, she lied. “Oh, we’ve made out, but I gotta draw the line here, because I have a great bf and I really love him.” Please. She blew you off. I could run a list of the possible reasons why, but would you rightfully care? It doesn’t change the situation.
You’d be better off dry-humping the bartender than trying to meet a quality chick at a fucking bar.
i am curious about which continent you’re going back to?
I think it was a case of too much tongue action. Jokes aside, there are people who make plans to walk down the isle after years of going out/living together, and then get cold feet at the last minute. So it isn’t too surprising if a girl you met at a bar got cold feet, perhaps thinking “Gee, what am I doing, what if this guy was a total psycho and chopped me into pieces like in that movie I saw last night?” Who knows. Sorry about how you felt, hope you get better reaction in the future.
I don’t like this whole “you should have told me you had a BF before” thing. If some guy comes up and starts talking to me, am I supposed to say “I have a BF” within 2 seconds of meeting you? That seems a little conceited to me. Maybe you just really wanted to talk, how do I know your intentions? Annnd you said you wanted to meet someone in a casual and friendly manner, I don’t think it’s very friendly for me to say “I have a BF” to everyone that just says hi to me. Then you would complian that girls are too rude and think they’re hot shit or something. Getting a good girl isn’t supposed to be easy!
perhaps, but they likely shouldn’t have been making out either…
There is a time to let him in on it.
plus, you got a make-out session for 5 bucks and a little chatter…
physical seems to be all you’re after so take that at least.
you want a guaranteed score, snag a hooker.
First of all, never rule out the sleazy places as potential meeting grounds for a long term partner, plenty of people have met their partners in sleazy places, they just don’t talk about it.
I’ve been in this situation a few times, and in my experience a guy who’s looking to bed you is never subtle about it, so why should you be subtle about your unavailability if you have a boyfriend? He’ll always make a move that is impossible to mistake for “friendliness” (almost always while dancing unless you’re stupid, naive, drunk, or all of the above. That’s the point you tell him, and you don’t have to be a bitch about it:
“Hey I think you should know that I have a boyfriend who I’m going home to tonight, so if you’re looking for someone I won’t be insulted if you go find someone else. If not, stick around, you’re fun to dance with.”
His move. Most guys won’t be insulted and will go find another girl, some have even thanked me for telling them upfront. Some will stay and dance anyway. One guy tried to kiss me afterward, still haven’t figured that one out but there are always anomalies.
It’s possible to have a boyfriend and still be able to have fun with other hot guys at bars without leading them on, it just takes a little honesty. And no, dancing with other guys is not cheating, unless your boyfriend is an insecure jealous douchbag who acts like he’s fifteen, in which case you should dump him and go fuck some of those hot guys.
…Why can’t you just ask her if she has a boyfriend before these things happen? If you’re interested in ‘more than friends’, it’s a simple question that can save a lot of feelings like this.
Agreed with ferocious_snail.
never thought when I woke up this morning that I would see a sentence fragment like
“agreed with ferocious_snail” and actually know what it meant.
times be a changing.
“If some guy comes up and starts talking to me, am I supposed to say “I have a BF” “
No, but I think it would be suitable not to stick your tongue into said guys mouth.
I have never gone home with a guy I met from a bar, but I’ve met lots of cool guys.
If I’m talking to someone that doesn’t seem to be hitting on me from a bar, if we start dancing or anything I’ll tell him straight up: “I’m cool with dancing with you and all, but I’m not having sex with you or going home with you.”
Most guy’s appreciate the truth and are totally cool with that. In my opinion, it’s better to come off as being a little bit conceited in bar situations then leading them on the whole night.
Yea, and then there’s no misconceived slights when you’re dancing – no bull shit, just a good time.
But as for OP, dude, you GOT to understand what it is before you go into it, and if it does go, what it is while you’re in it.
Complaining about girls you meet at a bar, honestly – I mean it comes down to, if it DID progress and you happen to, say, go home with her (given that she was actually single), Say you two make it a fling, and the fling turns into a misconceived notion of love (because you’re both stupid to begin with), and then girl starts reflecting on what it’s all about after a few months…. Listen – YOU PICKED HER UP AT A BAR, dude, chances are she’ll realize you guys hooked up all the wrong ways and it’ll freak her out. Why? Because you probably don’t give too much of a shit if you’re putting your stock into girls with boyfriends back home, teasing drunk guys at bars so they can get a thrill.
My buddy proposed to his girlfriend while she was on the toilet.
They got married.
She left him a month later.
fizz seems like she’s got her shit together.
Get over it dude, I’ve seen lots of stuff happen in clubs, both to me and to friends, and if you haven’t shaken it off by 9am the next morning you’ve got other issues.
Fizz said it best!
NoBro says:
My buddy proposed to his girlfriend while she was on the toilet.
They got married.
She left him a month later.
I am not sure how that relates to the OP but it made me laugh out loud.
Final Word with your old host Bruce Graham 🙂
http://www.pof.com, dude.
Ya, Fizz sounds like she’s been around the block a few times.
I’m not saying… I’m just saying.
fizz does seem like one of those sexually-liberated experienced chicks. I like it!
Thanks for the advices. What it came down to is a funny slightly saucy story to tell to friends. Probably better than expectedly mediocre drunken sex