To the military guy who rides his Harley through the Darkside on his commute to work: Are you for real?
I mean seriously, dude…the big ass flags on each side of your top case, the replica of a German WWII military helmet you’re wearing (in a very tasteful and understated chrome finish), the bad-ass wannabe patch on the back of your jacket, the exhaust pipes that make your antiquated, overly vibrating, heavy lump of an engine as loud as a Boeing 777…I really need to ask you a simple question…
Why not ride a fucking parade float to work instead?
That would serve just about the same purpose (“Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!”) and be less of an embarrassment to other motorcyclists, or soldiers. And because I am both a motorcyclist and soldier, you annoy me twice as much as the other Harley clowns who need to wear a fucking costume bought at the chic fake-badassery boutique.
Your obnoxiously loud pipes contribute to motorcyclists of all categories being stereotyped and generally disliked by the authorities and the non-riding masses.
Your attire is a fucking embarrassment to the profession. Halloween is on October 31st, but you obviously didn’t get the memo (or maybe you can’t read). Perhaps someone told you, but you’re too fucking deaf to hear anything anymore.
… and before the peanut gallery of self-appointed subject matter experts fires off its diarrhea of insults towards me (it seems to be the tradition around here) I’ll simply mention that I do not know who this guy is, where he lives, who he works for, or where he parks his bike.
… and that is all. Thank you. —VFR dude
This article appears in Apr 29 – May 5, 2010.
hahahahahaha!!
FAG.
I have a few gay friends that, after lengthy diplomacy, now nod when I use this word when pointing at a motorcycle riding – fag.
It’s not all encompassing – I’d like to get a bike one day, ride the country – but, yea, you know what it means.
Great bitch.
Attaboy VFR, Hahaha you tell ’em!
Motorcycles and subtlety go together in the same sentence like “Rosie O’Donnell” and “articulate rational thought”. Since 2 wheeler apologists always use arguments like “Independence”, “Individuality” and “The Freedom of the Open Road” I’d say the object of your scorn is exercising all of those options. Maybe he’s being ironic. At any rate it’s his hog, his duds and most importantly his money so…
i agree with you OP on the loud pipes comment. if my mid size suv sounded anything like some of these bikes, id be pulled over and ticketed. how bikes are allowed to be so ear-splittingly loud is beyond me.
what they decide to wear or emblazon on their hogs however, i couldnt care less.
ah, the great wannabe bandito. we have all seen this twit, and still wonder what the fuck he is all about.
oph yeah, big showy bikes, tiny dicks, i would guess, anyway.
and one very last thing here. bikes of any type are not called hogs, h.o.g.s., stands for HARLEY DAVISON OWNERS GROUP. please don’t refer to them as that word.even a harley is not a hog, it might be the person driving, but not the bike itself, as an ex owner, i know.
Harley’s always used to be called “Hogs”, some marketing grad at Harley Davidson Inc. just co-opted it to sell more product, much like Jeep has done in recent years. No doubt, the ‘hog’ moniker has been transferred to anything resembling a Harley.
I hear the Tidal Boars and the Waveryly Riders are gonna rumble at the Chickenburger this weekend, keep your daughters off the streets!
Noted LS., thank you. It’s like referring to U.S. Army Special Forces as “Green Berets” A green beret is a hat. Mind you S.F. fans like John Wayne and ex troopers like Barry Sadler have contributed to the misconception.
mine’s not that loud… and I’m certainly not ‘one of those guys’.
some of us do just want to ride and clear our heads.
The biker lifestyle is a bit much for me, especially with the salad bowl disguised as a helmet with a spike added. What makes it worse is that these salad bowl wearing, fuck helmet laws riders are the most vocal proponents of “loud pipes save lives”. Because safety is number one to them, of course.
Maybe he was auditioning for The Black Widows?
Loved this bitch. Was gonna post a similar one myself today because about 5 different times last night I had groups of about 10 motorcycle “packs” stop at the intersection outside my window and rev their engines until the light turned green.
I had to stop my conversation with my girlfriend until they passed. And my windows were all closed.
They should be ticketed for noise pollution. Plain and simple. There’s absolutely no need for this shit.
And that was my favourite South Park episode ever. Fags.
They took our jobs!, oops, sorry, wrong South Park…
maybe time to re-create that episode?
there were a lot of fags out and about on saturday…. come accross one late saturday morning lying on their side in the middle of the highway on the 102…. bet they wish they had their car that morning.
So the word “fag” has taken on a new meaning, in addition to a British smoke and a gay man?
If you’re the type that thinks that South Park is an authority on whether words are or are not offensive, then yes, Sebastian.
come on.you don’t like them leather chaps.
It’s a lateral step here I know but does anybody remember “Stereo Bike Guy”? In the 90’s you’d be down on the waterfront on a Saturday and through the crowd would come the strains of “Rock You Like A Hurricane” or “Welcome To The Jungle” and this scrawny guy in a beater and black jeans with a weedy little Goose mustache and a boom box clipped to the handle bars of his 10 speed would come trolling along scoping out the action.
I think he gave it up when the helmet laws went into effect. Kind of hard to maintain that level of cool with a $ store bike helmet.
hey i remember that guy…perhaps he knows the sock puppeteer