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Last week a broken ankle, the week before a pulled siatic nerve in my back. This week, PMS cramps enough to knock me out. COULD THE FUCKING COCKSUCKING PAIN JUST END ALREADY??? FUCK!!!! —I Pity The Motherfucker Who Fucks With Me Today
This article appears in Aug 16-22, 2012.
33 Comments
i just wonder who this is? maybe we should all just avoid this bitch site today, haha, not fucking likely.
Not me, Toothless Joe, if that’s what you’re referring to.
I *do* have a question, though — how exactly does one eat without teeth? Do you have to stick to soft foods and bulk up on ensure? I know foods like bananas and soups would be good options, but how would you eat steak? You own a baby bullet, don’t you, you sly fox!
😉
no pussy, i can eat anything at all. even walnuts. so, how many whines you got going today. you sly little piglet. meaty and zilla should be ready to pounce in here pretty soon. you and that other resident douchebag wanna keep it going, so can i.
mmmm… steak shake…
a bit lumpy but all the flavor’s still there.
OP, consider this practise for the big guns of menopause, when you’ll become a murderous, teeth grinding, knuckle flexing inferno, ready to launch jagged blocks of concrete at any poor soul who gets between you and the nearest fan. you’ll change your lacy fripperies for industrial cotton, and wear a t shirt UNDER your bra to absorb the gushes. you’ll sleep in the basement, or the tub. say goodbye to all makeup, hairdos or polyester fabric. wool sweaters will make you itch from 40 yards. you’ll gobble black cohosh, valerian and more nasty smelling herbal concoctions than ewel gibbons. and you’ll crawl 12 miles to the pharmacist’s for your HRT prescription and damn the eyes of all loved ones who scream ‘you’ll get cancer!’ for taking them. without the HRT, you’d take a package of pork chops out of the fridge and sob because you can’t remember how to cook them, even though you’ve been cooking since you were 7. and stare at a shrub you planted but cannot, for the life of you, remember what the name of it is.
but that sciatic hurts like a bugger, doesn’t it? cold compresses and keep your knees flexed, and at the same angle. lots of painkillers. chiro if you have one. did the sciatic pull because of limping from the ankle?
” i can eat anything at all. even walnuts. “
Really. Huh.
Can you pronounce the letter “s” or does it sound lispy?
Well of course I’ll pounce in considering you mentioned my name and I’m grossly narcissistic. Why did you mention my name anyway? I haven’t posted much in the past month and I rarely post anything related to you.
lalalalalalala zero fucks given in regards to LTWWB community drama.
http://nextlol.com/images/13555-zero-fks-g…
OB
I sympathize with you.So far, it’s been one of those years for me… I want to choke the next person that tells me things will get better.
sometimes you just have to rant and stomp around a bit. i have never been able to actually hit anything, even a pillow, but i attack weeds when i get mad. was it the scots? or irish? that had screaming trees? i should know, i am both, a tree in the back 40 that you could stand in front of and just scream out all your anger, sorrow whatever. instead of inflicting it on other people, or the dog. mind you, if you believe trees are semi-sentient, ummmm
That’s the WORST, Boru — telling someone “things will get better” when they’re having a shitty ass time.
It feels like they’re trivializing the situation.
PS: for what it’s worth, my mom didn’t have any hot flashes while in menopause! so there’s hope for some women.
Zilla — it’s not even drama. It’s just fun trolling grampy gummy smokes. He gets all worked up.
argh, PK, do you think it’s hereditary? the easy menopause? my mom’s was bad, mine is bad. your mom’s was ok, so maybe yours will be. i had better warn my daughter, she’s 40. she followed my exact 3 months of morning sickness.
I hope it’s hereditary! Essentially, my mom’s menopause went like this:
Periods disappeard.
^^ that’s it. Sometimes she got irritable and tired, but other than that, she’s always saying how much she’s enjoyed being menopausal/post-menopausal because she doesn’t have any more periods.
No offense to old people, but….its kind of shocking that this website attracts the amount of old people it does.
I’m 26 and I already feel way too old for this website.
Zilla, there are tons of us crones out here, just tons. we’re the boomers, so until we start dropping, we’ll continue to out number everyone else. i always figure young’uns are going to have to use us as target practice eventually.
why would you feel ‘too old’ already? is bitching only for the under 25? if you prick us, do we not bleed? the coast reminds me of the heady days of the georgia straight, back when it wasn’t such a sellout.
We need more balance in the ages. You have all of these grumpy old people (no offense) and we have probably like 3 under 25 regulars…..its all old people opinions. Personally, I’m proud to be under 19 and posting my opinions.
i figured i was the oldest old fart….and are you still the 19 year girlie with the ex-bff-staci-u-bitch-cow ?
whaddya think about garage VS AE?
What a bunch of ageist fucks you young twats are!
lol ttfn, weren’t you at that age? i sure was. ‘never trust anyone over 30’ . i’m kind of bewildered that i lived this long, to tell the truth. who wants to schlepp an old body around when the brain still thinks it’s 22? but considering the alternative, i’ll take it. hey! , my daughter used to post stuff here, last year. never knew. TTFN you’re the one she remembers!
I like all of the older folks on here :). Well, the ones I’ve met anyway.
“and are you still the 19 year girlie with the ex-bff-staci-u-bitch-cow ? “
I’m whatever age pops into my head when I type up the random bullshit I post.
i’m still laughing over that one.
When I was 22, I knew too many ‘cool’ oldsters to be an ageist. I was always open to generational debate – when I was young and now that I’m old – I’ve learned a shitload of stuff from kids decades younger and am not ashamed to admit that. Besides, I hate being clumped in with a bunch of nasty, cranky old broads who haven’t had a lick of fun since Labour Day 1976.
that was a good day, yup. didn’t know anyone i would have considered a cool oldster back then, maybe some trying to be young comb-overs.
How do you pull a sciatic nerve? Pinch a sciatic nerve maybe. Nerves just relay information to the muscles, they don’t do any of the heavy lifting.
If you’re looking forward to menopause OP, best purchase a few fans and install AC. Although by the time you hit menopause the planet may be a boiling pot of shit anyway so enjoy the good times now.
TF, whaddya call that nerve that gets pinched in the side of your neck when you aren’t doing anything in particular, it just goes TWANG and makes you flail around in whimpering misery? like shampooing one’s hair or turning the page of a book. something strenuous like that.
the planet is a gorgeous place, it’s people that are the problem.
“whaddya call that nerve that gets pinched in the side of your neck when you aren’t doing anything in particular”
http://images.cheezburger.com/completestor…
thats chekov! making it the russian death grip.
I don’t know what that is GDM. I just get this full body twitch emanating from my neck out of nowhere. My guess is that it’s just your body’s way of telling you that it can kill you any time it wants.
my brain has been trying to kill me for years, i’m winning
geeze, don’t listen to anything your brain tells you. it’s the one that comes up with all the dodgy ideas. and don’t listen to your body either, it’s always trying to put a halt to things, aching and whinging and breaking parts just to get out of whatever it is you want it to do.
HA HA! YOU BLED!
HYPOTHESIS CONFIRMED
I think what we have here is a stunning confirmation of my hypothesis which I have been at pains to explore elsewhere at considerable length to the effect that females are, by their nature, creatures of the flesh. They are carnality embodied. However, I realize only now that my hypothesis was only partial for it falls neatly into two parts.
The first part concerned the female obsession with ovulation, copulation, fertilization, and micturation, and rightly so. Truly, for the female, biology is destiny.
But now we discover that this procreative obsession with the body does not cease at menopause but continues, albeit in more tortured and agonized forms after procreation is no longer a possibility. Indeed, here the bodily obsession approaches the psychology of mania. But, and this is my point, their bodily obsession, which of course has no counterpart in either stage with the male, persists.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
“HA HA! YOU BLED!”
So did your hero Ray. But nobody made fun of that now.