To the Jehovah’s Witness who showed up at my door with her son: I was preparing dinner for Mother’s Day and did not have the time to chat. I opened the door and in kindness took your fucking literature. Since then you have shown up time and time again. I see you coming up the stairs and do not bother to open the door. Show up ONE MORE FUCKING TIME and I will NOT be so kind. Stop trying to push your fucking beliefs on everyone else, Jehova’s Witnesses! Next bullshit literature from you will be put through my shredder AND you will watch!
—Organized Religion Is A Farce
This article appears in Nov 12-18, 2009.
I blew kisses at the male ones…..ever since, they have never knocked on my door. Guess they are not attracted to good looking gay guys.
First let me say that I do respect a person’s right to their religion.
I HATE hype and trying to be sold on anything. There is a nest of them in my neighborhood, and frankly, being polite to them doesn’t work because they won’t take “NO Thanks I”M NOT INTERESTED” as an answer.
I don’ t know what their game is, maybe its to try until they piss someone off and then can go home and talk about how much more closer to jaysus they are than that sad person who told them to f off and slammed the door on them.
Two little ol’ JV ladies used to pound on our door once a month until Hub-Unit decided to answer the door with his bathrobe open – I believe they impaled themselves on a stop sign afterwards because we never saw them again.
Hey, did you ever notice in their rag, the Watchtower’ that Jesus has short hair and a neatly trimmed beard? He looks more like a PBS painting instructor than a Messiah.
Personally, I find door-to-door religious salespeople provide a unique opportunity for fun and creativity.
For example, pairs of teenage mormon boys were making their rounds in my neighborhood. Two of them knocked on my door one morning just as I was getting out the shower. Dripping wet and wearing nothing but a towel and a smile, I answered the door. Eyes averted and blushing furiously, they began to stumble through their spiel, and I feigned interest for a few moments. Then I flashed them my naughtiest grin and asked if they’d like to come inside and talk some more. They tossed me a book of mormon and hurriedly backpedalled down the steps, and I never saw another mormon boy again. Afterwards I put their book to good use propping open my living room window.
The key to dealing with them, OP, is to see the potential for humour and entertainment. They’re invading your space and infringing on your time, so you’re well within your rights to have a little fun at their expense. If you’re a man, try cross-dressing. If you’re a woman, dress up like an irredeemable harlot. Answer the door with a big kitchen knife and tell them that the voices in your head told you to expect them. Keep some pagan/satanic paraphernalia near the door and invite them over for a blood ritual. Just remember, OP, the possibilities for amusement are limited only by your imagination!!!
“in kindness took your fucking literature.”
Never do this. Lesson learned.
Hey OP
Im not religious but I do think opening your door and saying thanks but no thanks I have my own religion. Sorry not interested. Instead of thinking they can read your mind. You took the info once not giving them any reason to think you were not interested, but not opening your door you are saying I am not home. Be a better person and at least explain your not interested.
Your more of a jack ass then they are for being so rude
@ me0w: awesome.
Personally, I would just ask them for their addresses so we can chat about Jeebus on THEIR doorstep and MY schedule.
The #1 way to spread your religion is to have babies you can indoctrinate/brainwash. I seriously doubt the door-to-door thing is even 1% as effective as that for upping the numbers.
Off-topic a bit: Huge misuse of the word ‘witness’!
…but “Jehovah’s Imaginers” just wouldn’t have the same ring.
I just tell them I kill commies for Christ.
there was a post about this a while back…very funny something about not wanting to join the fellowship
one doorbell ring to rule them all….. I think not.
enjoy your religion but don’t go out of your way to bring it to other people who aren’t requesting it.
I tell them I’m Jewish. that usually gets them out of the way.
I just tell them ” no thank you ” now – at that point should they persist upon going on – then revert back to poster meow and carry out his potential for sum sunday entertainment – because at that point – thats all the politeness you need to extend into what would be their rudeness at not respecting your ” no thanks “
“Hey OP
Im not religious but I do think opening your door and saying thanks but no thanks I have my own religion. Sorry not interested. Instead of thinking they can read your mind. You took the info once not giving them any reason to think you were not interested, but not opening your door you are saying I am not home. Be a better person and at least explain your not interested.
Your more of a jack ass then they are for being so rude”
You’re such an asshole Enough said. I’ve come across many JVs who just “don’t get it”. You don’t want them pushing their bullshit so you let them know. They come back later (“Hey, maybe they’ve changed their mind and decided to convert”). You don’t answer the fucking door. Eventually they don’t bother you. Avoid any communication or conflict. Don’t answer the fucking door. The OP took the info they had and was acting civil, asshole. The OP wasn’t being rude. They were being democratic.
wanna get rid of them in a hurry, tell them you are a practicing member of the church of satan. they beat feet so fucking fast. and you get a good laugh too.
“I was preparing dinner for Mother’s Day…”
And you waited 7 months to bitch about it?
“Since then you have shown up time and time again.”
😉
Once the JW people came to our door. my mom and I were upstairs and kept yelling at my dad to answer the door (we didn’t know who it was) and he’d ignore us. We just thought he was being lazy and not bothering until he yelled up at us “IT’S THE FUCKING JEHOVAH’S!”
….the knocking stopped after that.
Ha ha ha ha ha… You couldn’t stage anything more “go away” than that.
“”The #1 way to spread your religion is to have babies you can indoctrinate/brainwash.””
Of course…but for many Christ-ians, this doesn’t seem to be enough. At least the JW’s and Mormons are upfront with what they do….unlike the sneaky ‘mainstream” Christ-ians that want to fill the schools with ‘prayers’ , the malls with baby Jeebus scenes (BTW, what happnened to all that gold and Myrh anyway? Joseph have a gampbling problem?)…they fight to get creation stories taught as science and history (guffaw)…
THESE are the dangerous Christ-ians – the ones that try to sneak their “God”, all grapes and bloody, into our daily lives!
When you’re deluded into thinking something is THAT important (saving souls from eternal torture and all that garbage), any tactics seem reasonable…even automatic. I actually don’t blame them for wanting to get their oh-so-important message out. I just wish they would all snap out of it.
Thanks in large part to the internet, it’s happening, though slowly.
Thanks in large part to theists willing to kill for their cause, and the greater and greater availability of worse and worse weaponry, we need to speed up cluing-in process as much as we can, and break the cycle of indoctrinating children as much as we can.
Mr_McNasty your a complete idiot. The OP clearly did not tell them she was not interested but actually took the info. So there was OP first mistake. Not answering your door does not say I am not interested is says I am not home.
YOU SAY: I’ve come across many JVs who just “don’t get it”.
Well not not if you don’t tell them jack ass
YOU SAY: You don’t want them pushing their bullshit so you let them know.
EXACTLY TELL THEM…Don’t take the info
YOU SAY: The OP took the info they had and was acting civil, asshole.
CIVIL? WELL THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP WHEN THEY COME BACK TO YOUR DOOR THINKING YOUR INTERESTED. NOT INTERESTED DON[‘T TAKE THEN INFO
YOU SAY:The OP wasn’t being rude.
NO, NOT RUDE BUT IS GETTING UPSET BECAUSE THEY CAME BACK. Hmmmm I wonder Had she not taken the info in the first place and said not interested they may not have come back.
YOU SAY: They were being democratic.
THEY WERE BEING STUPID BY NOT SAYING NO THANKS
So your a rude idiot.
I usually just give them a raised eyebrow and shoo them away like a pigeon and they react in a similar grudgingly accepting way. They are a pest but no worse than a panhandler unless you’re looking at it theologically.
YOU’RE, NOT YOUR. IT’S YOU’RE!
thank you for the edit what would we do with out you
I can imagine the OP being a bit like drivers who wave other people through intersections when they have the right of way. …trying a little extra to be nice, but in the end just causing confusion for all.
Then again, my experience with telemarketers tells me that there a many people who will ignore or are oblivious to polite, subtle signals that people are not interested in them or what they are selling. These people invite what would be normally considered rudeness because they “just don’t get” anything else.
I tell them that I’m a Jew and that they need a Holocaust of their own before they can convert me.