Why does a school get to say whether or not to allow the police into the school when a crime has happened on school grounds???? My daughter has been the target of bullies for over 2 years, we have been working with the school to get her some help, all with nothing to show for it. The school says they are working on it but everytime we have a meeting (at least once a month) they tell me they have things in place to stop the bulling, but nothing has come of it besides more broken glasses, bruises, and gashes.
Today just broke the camels back. My daughter (9yrs old) was attacked in a locker room by 4 girls. It was a crime pure and simple, so, I do what I think I should do, I phone the police to get an officer to meet me at the school. The school then tells me and the officer that it is against school district regulations to let the police on the grounds. WTF?????? She had a tooth almost knocked out, clothes stolen, beat in the head, and the school says it’s not a crime because of the ages involved. This makes no sense to me. We have gone through the proper channels so where do we go from here?
—pissed off momma bear
This article appears in Oct 29 – Nov 4, 2009.
As a former teacher, all I can tell you is that school administration is FUCKED UP. A similar thing happened to a student I befriended last year. All of the accommodations are made for the bully and NONE for the victim. If I ever have children they will be sent to private school.
The cops and the school will do FUCK ALL about this situation, I’m sad to say. Unless you are prepared to accompany your daughter to and from class, the only way out of this situation is to transfer her to another school. Or call the parents of these girls and let them have it with both barrels. As someone who was bullied all thru junior high, I can tell you that this is going to damage your child’s self-esteem big time if this continues.
I cannot believe these little cunts-in-the-making. Girls are horrible vicious when they turn on someone – I am so sad your daughter has to go through this.
What those 4 kids did was assault and there is every reason to get the police involved. See if they will continue their investigation outside of the school. Threaten school administration that you will go to the media (not the Coast bitch section, but the Crappy Herald and / or local TV news) if they do not co-operate.
OP: It’s a sad state of affairs when there is literally nothing you can legally do to protect your child. Don’t let it get you down though. Keep up the pressure. Call the principal of the school on a daily basis. Hell, even call two, three even four times a day. Call the schoolboard too, write letters, send e-mails, go to the media, let them know how little the school/schoolboard/principal are willing to do to prevent this. DO NOT let these horrible little girls ruin your daughters childhood. Try to show her that you can come out on top with perseverance and persistance. Keep your head up and your daughter will learn from it. Do not however contact the parents in person yourself. From past experiences from my own childhood, I can tell you that it will only hurt your cause.
Press charges.
Try going to the minister of education and the minister of justice, your MLA, and all the others Never Wrong mentioned. This isn’t just your problem, I guarantee it’s happening elsewhere, and it’s a damn shame. Talk to other parents, make your case known. I bet more will come to light.
ooooouuuuu lets protect the bully!!! Why aren’t they charged? charge them yourself. fuck the school, get the names and go to the police yourself. there is too much of this shit going on and they always protect the bully.
they should have to stand up in front of the entire school and tell everyone why they did what they did. AND they should have a record….obviously this juvenile shit is not working…..fucking dumb ass parents are to blame…..
There was an article in the paper the other day about a 12 year old with assault charges and he had to give up his Wii because of it! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT GOING TO DO???? SERIOUSLY !!???
Im so annoyed right there with you OP!! If you want to protest or anything…..let me know, I will be there to support you!!!!
that’s odd at Sir John A MacDonald the police have an office in the school. It is probably a good idea for that to be in place at all the schools
i just threw up everywhere when i read this
OP, I would gladly go to the school and escort your daughter out and, believe me, those fucking little cunts would remember my visit for the rest of their useless lives. I’ve done this before and I’d do it again. The people of Terence Bay still talk about the time I ripped into this group of little bastards because they were throwing rocks at my goddaughter who was ten at the time. My outraged voice would shake the fucking walls of your daughter’s school and I’m sure there’s a few posters out there who would join me.
I’m no lawyer but I’m a parent who’s been reminded again and again the school is a “judiciary parent” while your child is in their “custody and care”. If your daughter is bullied and beaten repeatedly while NO action is taken to correct a dangerous environment I can imagine the “judiciary parent” charged with child abuse as would happen to any other parent who would allow beatings and intimidation to continue. Maybe there’s a precedent setting case here? Maybe it’s a CAS concern? (I’ll bet you find legal support there.) Children under involved 12 makes traditional policing a little more difficult but something has to be done, right?
It’s too bad the parents involved aren’t putting their heads together to save ALL of their children from a life of bullying, crime and prison. Sad.
TTFN wouldn’t it be so much more affective to quietly show up with police and see the school principle cuffed and charged with child abuse? Maybe the news is invited with their cameras too? Perhaps just the threat of such a thing would have them invite police in to investigate and advise on criminal behavior from children.
My son was bullied from grade 7 til grade 9 by the principal, one teacher and several students and the school board did nothing but the Dept.of Education did. Now he is in high school where he sees students getting bullied and nothing gets done…the teachers and principals are scared of the bullies so they do nothing.
Unfortunately a person under the age of 12 cannot be charged with a crime. That being said, if I were the officer I’d have told the school what they could do. Though the young person cannot be charged, the adults around them could be charged for negligence.
I suggest finding out who the bully’s parents are and making life a very public and embaressing hell for them and the bully, by any means necessary. Show up to their home, workplace, wherever they are and make sure everyone they know is well aware of what their child is doing. If that doesn’t work start thinking more diabolically.
Tactic: Permanent bumper stickers that say MY SON/DAUGHTER IS A BULLY AT ___ SCHOOL. On the parents of the bullies cars.
My son experienced this all through elementary school, and when he finally exploded, he grabbed his bully by the throat. The difference between him and his bully was that my son was almost twice his bully’s size (he was a mountain that some boys felt they had climb–but he was passive). He was suspended. This caused a snowball effect. After that, because he was so angry with the way the teacher treated him, he drew a picture of his teacher dead. Then they treated him like he was a psycho-criminal. They tried to pressure me to put him on Ritalin (even though he didn’t have ADHD). They would clear the room if he even frowned. They did so much damage to him, that when he moved on to junior high the next year, he could barely function normally. It didn’t help that they had marked his records with some pretty nasty notes. So, as soon as I got the opportunity, I put him in private school. The best thing I ever did–he actually smiles now.
I am the OP and thank you for the comments, at least I know that our daughter isn’t alone in this. We have had the police show up at the homes of other children involved, but they tell me there is nothing else they can do due to ages. I have gone to the staff sargent and lodged a complaint about the officer leaving. I am at the school constantly, and on the phone with them almost daily. I have changed jobs so that I am home during the day just to deal with these issues.
We will be going to the media with this. I have been speaking with lawyers who think it is a good idea as well. The school board wants us to deal with them but I’m done waiting for them, they obviously don’t have us on their priority list.
This has affected her greatly, like HKM’s son, she now defends herself (when she isn’t outnumbered) and she is the one who then gets in trouble. The kids are told to ignore physical attacks, that doesn’t work. There are days where she is too sick from stress to even go to school and then gets in trouble for missing classes. It’s a spiral that is getting more and more out of control, she is angry and bordering on suicidal. When I say this I get looked at like a parinoid parent, which I’m not, just truthful. They tell me that she is too young to be feeling that way, bullshit. She is now having to see a phyciatrist (sp)
I will do anything I have to for her, but I have to do it the right way so that my actions don’t make things worse for her. Going to the other parents would be bad at this point because I have made them aware and they have done nothing. I am concerned that my own temper would go overboard and then I would wind up with the cops on my doorstep.
Leather, get a copy of the Education Act. Go through it with a highlighter, and mark the sections of the Act that the school has failed to provide to you or your daughter.
Meet with the principal, go through those sections of the Act, and ask what the resolution will be, with time lines.
Send a copy of the highlighted act with minutes of your meeting by registered mail to the principal cc: Minister of Education, and the Chairman of the School Board.
If the principal refuses, send the highlighted act anyway to the above people.
Good Luck.
gotta love how the government has FAILED again. take it from a former government employee who worked in the medical sector… NOBODY GIVES A FUCK… sorry. everyone shows up to work covers their OWN ass and goes home… how in the fuck do you expect change from that.
leatherNfire, I admire your determination and motives. Whatever happens your daughter is learning from YOU how to deal with bullies and how to get your way/justice without becoming a bully yourself. Keep that temper in check and best of luck to you.
Definitely press charges. And I would go to the media too—like CBC, Globe and Mail, etc.
Despite all the rhetoric, there are STILL some adults out there who protect and enable bullies. (Many adults in positions of authority are bullies themselves.)
Assaulting a person in a locker room so that their glasses get broken, their tooth is almost knocked out and they get visible injuries is NOT a “normal” childhood/adolescent behaviour to be brushed aside by school administrators.
Principles and teachers have a moral and legal obligation to protect the students under their care. A school staff member who knowingly allows abuse and violence to go one is guilty of a crime.
My thoughts are with you and your child.
By the way, I’m going out on a limb here with this suggestion, but it might be a way to let the school know you are serious: it sounds like your daughter should have a break from school for a while. NOT FAIR, I know, but she is in a dangerous situation, and if the principal won’t deal with this problem, if the CRIMINALS won’t be removed, then maybe, for her own safety, she should be. And TELL the school that you are willing to do this.
If the school doesn’t like it (and I would hope they would be upset by this), then tell them to come forward with THEIR solution.
The school boards love to spout thier “Everyone deserves and education” slogan—but that doesn’t mean that “everyone” has the right to assault and abuse the other students. ALL students have a right to get through their day without being harassed or threatened.
Don’t give up, don’t give in, and please know that many, many people support you.
PS: Bullies are often pardoned because some adults still believe that the only reason an assault could happen is because the victim “must have done something to provoke it”—that it could never just happen for no reason. BULLSHIT.
DON’T BELIEVE THIS. LOTS of bullying and assault happens precisely because someone just FEELS like doing it, and because they are ALLOWED to continue doing it.
You are a good parent. I hope those bullies get the punishment they truly deserve.
And I hope your daughter can go back to school in peace.
One more thing: it is still legally possible to expel a completely uncontrollable kid from school. It doesn’t happen as often as it once did, but it is still an option. Just so you know, in case the principal tries to tell you that he can’t do that. Oh, yes he can.
Like some of the posters here have indicated YES. By default all students involved in a tussle are to be subject to suspension (that’s why this bitch is such a head-turner to me). It’s not fair but this rule also removes the administrators from having to determine who is the victim, who is the bully, take sides or get “involved”.
brass knuckles ought to do the trick.
wait… do they make those for 9 year olds?
I think it is important to distinguish between a “tussle” and a continued pattern of threat and assault.
The latter is definitely a crime, and if the kids are too young to be charged, the parents of the bullies should be held responsible for controlling their kids, as should the school staff during school hours.
I know that old “everyone involved gets suspended” policy well. Sometimes it is appropriate, but in this case it is not.
The OP’s child is being attacked for no reason (as far as we know), and the adults who are supposed to be in charge are permitting it to continue, rewarding the bullying behavior.
Dear OP, please be brave and strong.
It sounds like you are dealing with some supposedly “grown up” bullies in addition to the juvenile ones.
Do you think your kid could homeschool? It’s a lot easier than people sometimes think it might be. 🙂 We’re a homeschooling family and there’s a great community here in Halifax for it. A whole bunch of us get together once a week for different events, like the Maritime Fall Fair, museums, nature hikes, or just playdates.
http://homeschooling.ednet.ns.ca/
As someone who was a target for bullies when I was younger, never expect the school to do anything. When I finally started to defend myself, they took notice. I was hauled aside for “acting out”. When I explained that I was being bullied, they started to take notice of what my mother and I had been telling teachers and the administration. As counter intuitive as it may be, sometimes fighting back is effective. Take your daughter to some self-defense or martial arts classes. Good exercise and teaches discipline as well.
She has been fighting back, and it has become a bigger issue. Now instead of one on one attacks it’s 3 or 4. We have done some investigation on other children involved and found out that there is an actual club out there just to ‘get Taylor’ 2 weapons have been confiscated now. Finding this out has just scared us even more. Her teacher says that she has a wonderful spirit but is sad too much of the time…hmmm…wonder why???
Still haven’t heard from the officer who was supposed to meet with us to take her statement, or the school officer liason (who is paid to take care of matters like this in the school) I have gone through the staff sargent and just tells me that the officer will contact me. WHEN??? When the injuries have healed??
Monday morning will see me on the doorstep of the minister of ed
You can get pens now that have video cameras hidden in them. At the click of a button she could secretly be recording the bullies next attack, then you’d have concrete proof. Hammacher Schlemmer sells them. You know, if you need to get more diabolical…
When my son grabbed his bully by the throat, and my son got punished, he withdrew. Although his bully didn’t challenge him head on anymore, his bully would fling and throw things at him when the teacher wasn’t looking so that my son would get angry and yell. Of course, it was my son that got in trouble. Also, the bully and his friends would follow my son home and throw stuff at him. It was my neighbour who finally stopped the kids from bothering him. She figured that I wouldn’t agree to her solution, so she took it upon herself to talk to an older kid in the area that all the other kids were afraid of. She had him warn the kids that if my son was bothered again, they would have to deal with him and his friends. That pretty much ended my son’s bully problems. It was not the most ethical of solutions but it worked.
By the way, my son was rejected by the other students originally because the teachers rejected him originally. He was not a good student, and they thought him lazy and other such things which they did not hesitate to say in small ways (which the other students pick up on). As it turned out, he had a severe learning disorder.
time for your kid to start carrying brass knuckles.
Here’s what I would do. There’s a product called a spy pen (ggogle it) that sits in your daughter’s shirt pocket, jacket etc, and records sound and video through a tiny hidden lens. They are about $100 US…
Have her wear the pen and record evidence, of both the bullying, AND the teachers down-playing the incident with their usual BS “It takes two to tango!” etc etc.
also wear the pen when meeting with teachers as well. Compile your evidence, and find a good lawyer…many will work pro-bono/deferred fees if you have the proverbial smoking gun…
It’s time to look out for number one, folks, becuase no-one else is, especially the police…
BTW, I use mine for encounters with the police as well…
😉
When my son was 10 he was jumped on the way home from school by two boys around his age on a path. My son told me that these boys hung out at that path every day after school. So the next day I met him at school and walked home with him. Sure enough there they were. I took one by the scruff of the neck and put him up against a tree. I think he shit himself. I told him that if I EVER heard of him even going near my son again that the next time I would do more than pick him up. His buddy had a cell phone an dtold me he was going to call the cops. I told him to go ahead but to keep in mind it would probably take the cops at least half an hour to get there.
At any rate, yes I know the perfect people in the world will say that what I did was wrong, I could have been charged, yadda yadda yadda. I could really give a fuck. I gave one boy my business card and told him to go home and tell his parents and that if they wanted to talk to me to call. I never heard a word.
The fact is that most PARENTS do not give a fuck. For the most part parents today believe that their kids are little angels and they back their kids. The schools do not do anything (as seen in this post) so as a parent you take things into your own hands. May not be politically correct but please tell me the option? Why should YOU be forced to switch schools? To the OP I have this advice. SUE THE FUCKING PARENTS for emotional distress, dental work, broken glasses, stolen clothes etc. Maybe when it hits their fucking pocket book they will become a parent instead of a sperm donor!
Bobby… it was more than ‘politically incorrect’. What you did was ILLEGAL and a POOR example to set for others. YOUR bully behaviour as an adult simply reinforced their bad behaviour and all in front of your kid. GREAT parenting skills there, buddy! Using physical force to “solve” a problem. *shakes head* The cycle continues… good on ya!
The police didn’t do anything because they can’t.
The thing about not allowed on the property is bullshit though.
The school board can do very little, especially at this age. You can complain all you want, but these people are working within the system laid out for them. Which sucks.
My cousin was being bullied. Her father is a bit rough around the edges. One night he paid a visit to the homes of the kids bullying his daughter and “talked” to the parents. The bullying stopped.
Not sure what you can take from that, but it worked, and nothing else does.
Maybe they should have hugged it out.
If the kids never bothered Bobby’s son again, then I think Bobby was speaking their language.
Kids are cruel… As for that spy pen deal, you’ve gotta be careful with recorded evidence. Without a warrant it may be thrown out of court
plus, spy pens are creepy.
I like to explore my orifices with my spy pen and post the videos on youtube.
I don’t know what the answer is at this point, but we do know that our daughter is not safe in the hands of the school. Spoke to the family supervisor from the school board today and she assured me that they are doing an internal investigation, but I’ll be surprised if anything comes of it.
The kids being bullied are too scared to talk and if they don’t say anything the bulling really doesn’t exist. At least that’s the way the adults seem to think about it.
Right now we are looking at all options available to us, including homeschooling. It was not an option I ever would have thought of before, but now it’s becoming more and more of an option. If there are any parents out here that have been homeschooling like Lilac it would be great to hear from them just so I can get a better understanding of what the practical issues are with homeschooling.
Pay the Hells Angels to beat the shit out of those little girls with chains and table legs. Trust me, only way they’ll learn.
Kay, Bobby didn’t do anything wrong. He taught those shits a lesson the way they understand it. Sometimes people need to be smacked around for bullying others.
sodeypop, if Bobby’s little “lesson on morality” had been witnessed by a cop he’d have gone to jail… in front of his kid. Laying your hands on another in anger is immoral, illegal and a very common problem solving “skill” around here.
About spy-pens… I’m not sure what you think you have to lose if you have an incident recorded on tape. Whether it’s admissible in court or not it can’t be denied and would create a very compelling call for action as well as compelling news media.
Kay, I think Bobby did the right thing and didn’t actually use violence (sounds like he just grabbed the kid and threatened him). I remember in jr high (where most kids hit their asshole peak) the only teachers who got any real respect were the ones who would grab a kid and yell in his face once in a while – usually the biggest kid.
I know you’re hardwired to believe violence is never the answer and I hope you never have to find out the truth (that sometimes unfortunately it IS the answer). Enjoy the view of the sand your head is stuck in.
grab kid….no
spy pen….yes
As Kay said, it’s not whether a film can be used in “court”…it’s that it is proof of the bullying, to the parents/media/principal etc…. and/or negligence of the school officials.
In fact, recording devices are used in schools all the time…even surrupticiously by students wanting to “out” their teachers for talking BS…
To me, I support CCTV in schools, buses, street corners and anywhere else that I have to go and sometimes be in the presence of punks/thieves/rogue cops etc etc.
I WILL however, take a pass on the video of Miles’ inner ear canal, cheers…
Go ahead, lay your hands in anger on ANYONE! Push them, grab them, whatever and see where the law sits with that. If you think it’s okay to “grab” a kid that doesn’t belong to you, and you’re doing it to “teach them a lesson” or because you’re angry, you’re in a for a very BIG surprise should you get caught or the kid reports you. I can think of a handful of teachers who lost their jobs for manhandling bullies all the way down to the office. If a teacher, “judiciary parent”, can’t legally do it to a rotten kid then neither can you.
If you need a cop, call a cop. You’re not a cop and even if you were you’d need a much much better reason than your own anger over their actions to lay hands on them… that is if you’re not interested in becoming a criminal yourself, which is the approach Bobby took. Just because he didn’t get caught and his threat seemed affective does NOT mean what he did was legal, moral or right.
Just for the record
Section 43 of the Criminal Code
Every school teacher, parent or person standing in the place of a parent is justified in using force by way of correction towards a pupil or child, as the case may be, who is under his care, if the force does not exceed what is reasonable under the circumstances.
indeed… I guess, I was thinking about the outlawed strap. Either way, Bobby was wrong.
Wrong, but effective.
bullies usually are.
Hey OP,
If you have any questions about homeschooling feel free to ask me. 🙂
This link will bring you to the Department of Education’s homeschooling pages
http://homeschooling.ednet.ns.ca/
Give them a call for more info at 1-866-873-1722 (Toll free)
Good luck!
kay you’re a bully yourself. stop trying to be cute by being a hypocrite. its not charming but just makes you appear stupid.
i love how you think you’re a lawyer and how everything you do is correct – while everyone else is wrong.
now go cry to the webeditor like you always do when someone disagrees with you or calls you an asshole, asshole.
Being sharper, more intelligent or more resourceful than you does NOT make ME the bully. You being intimidated by a fact or an opinion does NOT a bully make of the person expressing such an opinion. Voicing non-personal, truthful observations that may hurt you (since you get to chose your own feelings) does NOT make me a bully. Owning a set of brass knuckles and using them or laying hateful hands on another to gain compliance… THAT’S a bully and I don’t do that! Ever.
If you think I’m wrong about something or express an unfounded opinion question me and prove me wrong! Random spew doesn’t qualify as discussion. Anywhere. I’m up for the debate! Provide supportive commentary for your position and we can have a persuasive and meaningful discussion some would consider rich entertainment.
I won’t hesitate to ask a question if I don’t know. I’m willing to learn despite what you think.
Fat, if you could call me an asshole without being CREEPY and making threats your garbage would still be posted. Aren’t you tired of being a pest, riding my every comment then getting spanked for being so very vulgar and rude? Be a good bitch now and comment on the OP, not me. The bitches are sick of it, I am and so is Andy, so knock it off.
I think Andy can speak for himself. He doesn’t need some ‘hag’ doing PR.
Such irony, VOR. Andy DID speak for himself. Fat forgot. Again.