PMS. Yeah I said it. And what? My guts be churnin, my migrane is turnin, my pussy be yearnin, an my ass be burnin. Like the gut cramps ain’t enough, I get some nasty ass irritable bowel syndrome around that time of the month. My back aches, my legs ache, my head is poundin yo. An’ a lotta boys think that this mean free reign on a bitch. They think this is the week when they be gettin with all the head they can handle….cuz we apparently owe it to them an’ shit. Bitches, you NEED to check your man on this BULLshit. This isn’t a free pass to non-reciprocal pleasure muthafucka. My boyfriend is gettin a lil’ antsy now roundin’ bout the 3rd day into it. He’s wanted his lil’ man tended to. Guess what bitch! Your balls an’ emptyin them is that LAST fuckin thing on my mind. Get down, what? Who you tellin? What you NEED to be doin is get a bitch some CHOColate and then you need to worry bout gettin the fuck out my face for 5-7, bitch. —Don’t Trust Anything That Bleed for 5-7 and Don’t Die; I WILL Shank U
This article appears in Jan 5-11, 2012.
Srsly?
Bitch Rationalization.
That was difficult to read.
Excuse me, OP – what about men putting up with the fucking craziness that is PMS?
It’s probably not a good time to axe her to move her Escalade sized baby stroller out of the other passenger’s way, either
This had me dying laughing. I loved it. I bet it was no_fool… you kill me!
Oh good grief. Get some meds for your pain … or … something.
I got to put on my decoder ring to figure out what the hell you just said, FFS
It was hilarious, HOWEVER, I don’t think there’s any excuse for treating someone like crap. I get super anxious sometimes and it’s not so fun living in my own head space, but I would never take that out on someone else. PMS doesn’t give any lady a pass on being civil to anyone, especially their partner.
Oddly, I actually have no problems with going down on a guy during my period (I’m actually quite into it). Hormones, I guess. It’s the week after that I’d rather have an enema than give a blow job. *shrug*
Can’t believe you won’t blow your BF. You are selfish and good for nothing. I hope you are at least doing the house work!!
No tag for this one?
This kinda sounds like the puppet master.
jesus o.p., you need a case of the suckster medicine. i can deliver if you wish. open 24/7, and no taxes.
Bitches be crazy… respect that
http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2010/362…
oh… and we’ll remember that on valentine’s day/anniversaries/birthdays/etc…
when you want us to go all out on some lame ass shit.
that i would love to see kitty.god damn, why wasn’t i born later, or you earlier. we could rock the fucking world. and as to the rag thing, sex is good then too guys. to hell with the blood, full dick ahead.
Jesus fucking Christ. Have we now got rejects from the Jerry Springer Show posting on LTWWB?? PMS nothing. You sound like a REAL catch. I mean, really, who in the fuck talks like this, let alone TYPES it?
“Straight outta D-town, yo! Oh no you dih’int! How you gonna be dissin’ me like dat? I KNOW you dih’int jus’ make fun of my vernacular!? Why you be fruh-in, bitch? You best be steppin’ off, yo, les’n my pms cramps cause me to bus’ a cap in yo’ ass!”
Hey Shawniqua…..one word…..MIDOL!
(fuck sakes!)
I took this bitch as a joke… someone exaggerating and amping it up. Your comment sounds a little judgemental there Avasto… and normally I don’t think you come across that way at all.
I’m with Vastie. OB(original bleeder) sounds like a Jerry Spring douche canoe.
I think it speaks volumes about Montrealman’s character that he allows his maid computer access on her smoke breaks.
OB, did you jam that tampon up into your brain? I’m sure your man is out getting pussy or ass elsewhere. Christ, he’d have to be crazy to be around you during your 5-7 bleeding days. PS – stay off the taupe sofa.
If I’ve offended anyone with what I have posted above, I humbly apologize. Certainly wasn’t my intention.
I guess I just didn’t find the post to be that funny.
Yikes
Oh vastie, don’t worry. I doubt anyone was severely offended.
Who could be offended by one of our most adorable posters?
There seems to be a definite oral theme going on these past few days
For some reason I enjoyed this post. It’s definitely an exaggeration and it was typed a certain way to give it a humorous tone, kinda like the ice cream bitch. I don’t think either bitch came from a real person. I find myself getting more worked up over thing around that ‘time’. It’s like I’m replaced with George Costanza or something, but I usually try to keep my crazy thoughts to myself and ignore everyone, or come on here :D!
HAHAHAHA I’m with ya on that one, OB! If we gotta suffer, they should too. I got my man trained. He runs me a bath, tucks me in and brings me the TV remote and tylenol. And if I’m horny, he’ll take care of that too! He’s already earned his red-wings!
PK…(*blush*) …. I am (was) having a pissy day, (evidently) but you just made me smile. Thanks for that.
Aw, you’re welcome.
I’m the opposite today. I was having a great day and now I’m pretty blue.
I just can’t seem to catch a break. *sigh*
But I’m glad I was able to make your day a little brighter! 🙂
apologizing for ‘potentially’ offending people on an anonymous bitch board…
oh vastie, grow a pair, would ya?
you’re not fooling anyone kitty….
you catch breaks all the time.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/comm…
Hilarious! I definitely think it’s fake or at least greatly exaggerated.
No_fool….no lie you sound like a massive bitch. I bet ur a fattie….got dat fat aggression.
Do. Not. Fuck. With. A. Woman. On. The. Edge.
(she *did* warn you, motherfuckers)
(signed)
Ima Sewmyownfuckin’redtentbitch
Godzilla? Right. You got the ‘size issues’ of someone who’s hung like a field mouse. Small dick syndrome?
hahah okay fattie. I can see you are very very hungry.
mfw the best insult miss piggy has is reference to a small penis.
http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/…
Yeah, you’re right, zed, I *do* catch breaks — as if today couldn’t get any shittier, my favorite, most comfortable bra that makes my tits look amazing just break’d and now my upper abdomen is bleeding from being punctured by the wire.
I should just jump out of the window of my office and get it over with.
Your overcompensation even flows over into your Username, Godzilla
http://roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2008/…
You realize that taking out your fat aggression on a clear and admitted troll is just making you look stupid. Keep feeding me though….dat rage and dem tears are so tasty and in your case filled with fat.
it’s ok… I’m sure the company didn’t make just the one…
suffer through the horrific ordeal that is ‘the work day’ and grab one afterward.
you can even save that hardware and hotwire an audi R8 to cruise home in style…
or, if the owners still in the car, your bra being off may just get you the same results anyways.
giving us females carte blache to be complete assholes because we’re on the rag is the same as giving a serial killer the freedom to kill because he’s fucked in the head.
Or.. at least it’s similar enough.
Was this English?
http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/616/hun…
I put this together rather quickly so I apologize in advance for the awful quality and low level of humor.
RSVPs
: Ralph The Pelican (Jan. 11, 12:37PM)
What you say? I don’t allow ma maid nothin. She take what she want an don’t even axe me. But she one horny motha. Yeah.
A pleasure as always, chums.
Cheerio!
ZILLA I loved that. The last square made me lol
wow…all that time and energy spent on that comic, godzilla and you can’t even get the font BIG enough to read Dummy.
Why your font too small? To match dick?
http://media.photobucket.com/image/unsucce…
If you squint your eyes a little bit, Thomas actually looks like his head belongs on that body.
I love you, zilla.
Marry me.
Montremoleman, your maid’s name is Rasputia, isn’t it?
http://www.montrealfilmjournal.com/img/pic…
LMFAO! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. When he confines himself to short answers, Montrealman can be hella funny.
Ebonics? or E-coli?
Sooo… You trained your man to expect blowjobs during this time of the month in the early stages of your relationship, now that it has become a chore, you are reneging on the deal. Nice goin Ace!!! Also, makin good use of your new Ebonics dictionary you got for Christmas I see.
Who says Shaniqua wrote this … this sounds like the “whitest” rendition of a Kanye song.
… … Bitches please.
nuh-uh. Not Shemika. Mary J.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWnUNb4_yzk
What’s with the shitty ebonics bitches today? At least try to write something resembling English.
Depo provera … THE END.
This is very Jerry Springer but did make me smile as well.