I’m all for saving the environment and reducing our water consumption but those dual flush toilets suck. Why are these toilets so high? I don’t feel like trying to take a shit on a high stool. Oh, did I say take a shit? No. That’s the problem. The angle and height of how one sits on a toilet affects bowel movements. Google it.
I’m 23. I drink a lot of water, and I have my recommended daily fibre intake, so don’t get me started on that. But every time I have to encounter those dual flush toilets for an extended period of time I can’t seem to take a shit.
Mom and Dad, if you’re wondering why I refuse to stay longer than 3 nights when I come to visit, it’s because I really don’t feel like holding onto toxic waste, holding onto an extra 10 lbs of shit, and feeling cramped up, bloated, and fat. Oh and even though this is posted in the love to bitch section, I am actually sending a lot of love to my regular flush toilet (which IS low flush despite the fact it’s not DUAL flush so fuck off). And now I shall take a crap and wipe with my thick SOFT toilet paper. I don’t care if it’s not fucking eco-friendly labelled. At least I don’t have to pull half the roll and deal with a rash. —Love to Read Comics While on the Shitter, Not Detailed Stories About the Shitty American Economy
This article appears in Jan 5-11, 2012.
Get a small foot stool, put it in front of the toilet and put your feet on it while you’re taking a dump.
That should fix ya.
They keep it at a higher height for wheelchair accessibility codes, instead of making two heights of a relatively uncommon model of toilet.
yeah PK beat me to it.. why don’t you just come up with an intelligent solution instead of bitching at your parents for (god forbid!) fixturing their house to THEIR OWN standards.
You just got your first taste of your parents making choices for themselves instead of you. Welcome to adulthood. (that’s what we like to call it anyway)
And just so you’re aware, low flow toilets are the biggest environmental scam going. Low flows have been known to require several flushes to expel solid waste so you’re actually using MORE water than you would with a regular flow.
I’ve found with low flow toilets, simply holding the lever down until all the waste is gone usually helps.
Then again, I flush things down the toilet I shouldn’t — mainly baby wipes, cleaning wipes and sometimes the wipes I use to take make up off.
*shrug*
But seriously — Asians who use squat toilets (basically a hole in the floor) are the most regular and have the easiest time shitting because sitting up is actually a pretty shitty (heh) way of taking a dump — it impedes gravity and the alignment of your colon and by squating, it’s easier for the poop to come out.
lean forward…. you’ll get red marks on your thighs from the pressure of your elbows….
but you can get some good velocity built up for the shot-gun shit.
We were designed to poop squatting in fields like monkeys. So just use your backyard next time instead of the internet to unload your shit.
yes, but Karl Pilkington can’t shit in a whole in the floor….
but o.p., when some people crap, it requires a double flush. if not, it could get plugged solid.
The OB is an idiot for holdindg it in. They have these new-fangled things called public toilets. I’m sure you can find one to fit you.
cool, we haven’t had nearly enough poop talk lately. cheetah died recently he was eighty http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwwhrp0i…
And you can’t ell your parents this to their face why??? Instead, you write an annonymous bitch about shit – literally? Boo fuckin hoo wah wah I can’t poo poo in the pottie mommy!!
OB, do like that chick did downtown and squat down and sit on the steps to some local business.
Try x-lax silly!
fuck… synonym burn…
I feel dirty.
“yes, but Karl Pilkington can’t shit in a whole in the floor….” You watch idiot abroad!!!
excellent!!!!!!!!!!!
:D!!!!!!!
I’m so happy. lol lol
Just take a crap at the local service station when visiting home. They’ll give you a key attached to a cinderblock, you do your business and you feel like new. Just tell Mom and Dad you’re going for a walk.