To the self-involved rich bitch driving the Audi who nearly ran over my toes today when I was in the crosswalk – with the WALK SIGNAL clearly visible, which you intentionally IGNORED – next time I won’t just kick a dent into the side of your expensive car, I’ll smash my fist into your snooty face!
— Peeved Pedestrian
This article appears in Sep 10-16, 2009.
Haha. Can there be an “internet tough guy” tag?
I endorse the use of this tag!!!
Well dome Mole!
Everyone who has driven a motorized vehicle for some length, will have, at some time or another, accidently “cut off” another driver and/or a pedestrian.
Some drivers are more careful than others of course, I have even read of a “phobia” that in rare cases causes some drivers to stop and get out of their car on rainy nights after they have made a right turn, in order to ensure they have not struck anyone. I don’t think, OP, there are many drivers that would “delibrately” choose to injure someone else.
And if there are, I don’t think you can “spot” them the first time they “cut you off” at the pedestrian walkway. You DO know that we must still use caution when crossing the street, even when the little man is green, right? Or were you taught to tilt your proud little head up high and away, and to just soldier on, oblivious to the 40 ton tractor-trailor with no brakes coming your way?
You do know, “kicking” the car that accidently cuts you off is against the law don’t you? I wish to fuck it had been me you pansy…I need a new paint job on my T-bird, and some dumb fuck like you would have been paying for it.
This is why I’m calling for electric charges in the car body – 40,000 volts between car body and ‘ground’…you kick/thump/pound… you fry…
A few years ago, while pulling into my driveway, some young “tough guy” felt I had cut off him and his girlfriend while walking. What happened next almost cost him his life because there is no way I was going to allow this skid to drag me out of my car and beat me to death just because he felt I had cut him off. As he turned into my driveway, showing extremely aggitated body language, I slipped the gear into reverse and waited for him to come closer..then I would have laid on the gas and run him over (I was REALLY in fear and ready to do this as I could imagine him even smashing my window to get me, he was that pissed). My SUV would have flattened him and probably tramatized both myself and the girl he was walking with…as his body was flattened by the crushing weight of my vehicle. I was hugely relieved to see his girlfriend shout at him and pull him back, where they carried on their way.
Don’t even bother talking about me going to jail, yada,yada, yada…I had already decided I would do the time (if they even charged me, a single mother of a small child who was only just backing out of her driveway to pick up the milk she forgot to buy at the store and realized the second I parked). To this day, that young man (who could be married with his own little kids by now) had no idea he almost died that day..all over NOTHING.
So, watch out hotheads of the world..you might just meet someone who is either angier than you or so afraid of you, they decide the world is a better place without you in it!
SJ…I really empathize with this story, thank the god(s) it turned out OK…although I’m sure you still think about it and shudder…
I was witness to a similar event in Vancouver years ago. Lined up in Friday night after-theatre traffic for the Lion’s Gate Bridge, a car with 2 older couples pulled out of the filling station in what they thought was an “opening” in the traffic, two cars ahead of me…perhaps it wasn’t quite enough space, but we were all inching along anyway.
Surprisingly, the car ahead of me sped up at first and then slammed on its brakes as the old folks “cut it off” in front…It seemed kinda like he had created his own “crisis” on purpose, although I suppose it could be argued that the old folks had kinda “nosed” their way into the queue (like one does…).
Next thing I know, this 20-30 year old guy hops out of the car in front of me and runs up to the old folks and starts pounding, I mean POUNDING on the windshield and side window of their large sedan…not just once but over and over and over!
I couldn’t believe my eyes (and ears) but the line-up had moved ahead so I cautiously started to inch around them in the mostly empty opposite lane. I was just about alongside them, and I could see the fear and terror of the 4 old people in the sedan. The two -white haired old ladies in the back were literally on top of one another trying to get away from the window! Suddenly, the poor old bugger driving the car had clearly had enough, and seeing that there was space in front of him, he hit the accelerator, and the car lurched forward…right over, apparently, the ankle and leg of the maniac, who had slipped as he tried to continue his pounding as the car moved ahead!
I swear to all that is holy and Zeus himself, I actually HEARD the crack as his ankle was shattered by the heavy car, and the screaming that followed was ungodly, it really was!! It became clear that the fellow was screaming in some foreign language, but I couldn’t make it out. I pulled ahead, back into the proper lane and got out. By now more people had got out of their cars but no-one dared approach this screaming, foaming at the mouth lunatic, who was flopping from side to side and howling like a banshee! I could see how his one leg now appeared about 6 inches too long, and his foot was pointed in a disturbingly odd direction. He managed to pull himself about 5 feet, flipper-like, and started to scream “elp me, ‘elp me!!, Ayuudemeee..!!!” or some such. He looked a little ‘swarthy’ (like I am), and I thought maybe ‘North African’, but couldn’t be sure. The accent sounded French. A few people came a little nearer and tried to hold him still, while others called 911. Someone even threw a coat over the crazy bastard…but he flung it off…
AEEEIIIIII AEEEIIIII!!!
It was fucking blood-curdling, and I hope I never hear anything like it again. Was it pain? No, I don’t think so. I’ve heard that before. I think it was the result of his mutant and out-of-control RAGE. That he had brought this on himself, there was no doubt, except perhaps in his own mind, where it all boiled over – the anger, the embarrasment, the fear, the impotent rage, the “failed” vengeance for the perceived slight – all released itself in a otherwordly howl the likes of which have rarely been heard, and never by myself, even in the darkest bayous and caverns of my nighmares…
The old feller got out of the car, trembling and fearful, and you could see he was horrified at what had happened. No-one was more upset than he was, and yet…and yet I felt he had been completely in the right, and I would’ve done the exact same thing, only sooner!
When the police came, a few of us made the exact same statement, (we had a few minutes before they came where we all independantly agreed with one another) that the 4 old folks had been under attack from a madman, incapacitated with rage, and had simply driven straight ahead to preserve their own health and safety. I even left my card and said that I would testify to such, if asked. I gave one to the old man as well.
I never heard back, and have no idea how it all turned out, but I wager that somewhere there is one crazy son-of-a-bitch Algerian that walks with a promounced limp that will never leave his car in a murderous rage again.
I REALLY don’t recommend “kicking” or “thumping” cars in your moment of self-righteous “outrage”, it really can end in disaster for all invloved.
“we all independantly agreed with one another”
Good one
From that entire story, Matthew, all you can do is pull out a single line and criticize it? Holy fuck. Get a life.
Good story, Frosty. And SJ. I get a little pissed when I get cut off as a pedestrian, but I’ll remember these stories next time I’m feeling vengeful.
Hey Heathro….fuck you.
I guess because I didn’t add a “lol”, you didn’t understand that I found it funny. I thought that line was the funniest of Frosty’s very well written story.
Oh, and did I say fuck you?
baD mR fRosTy . . up yours!
I’d kick your door in! and smash you in the face!
And I, Jesus-buggered-me, would turn the other cheek and let you smash that as well…
Sammy Joe said, “What happened next almost cost him his life… I slipped the gear into reverse and waited for him to come closer..then I would have laid on the gas and run him over… Don’t even bother talking about me going to jail, yada,yada, yada…I had already decided I would do the time…”
BadAss Mr Frosty said, “This is why I’m calling for electric charges in the car body – 40,000 volts between car body and ‘ground’…you kick/thump/pound… you fry…”
hmm, so Mr Frosty and Sammy Joe think it’s OK to use their CAR as a WEAPON to MAIM/KILL a person, rather than face/take on an angry pedestrian (and justifiably so) that they nearly RAN OVER in the first place??
spineless homicidal COWARDS! fuck the both of ya.
If you pound on my car, you fry…I didn’t kill ya, you kilt yerself… 😉
I also believe in guillotines built into the windows of my house for a special “treat” for burglars…I suppose you’d say “I” cut poor lil’ Tyrell’s hands off, too, would ya? What about my idea for “knock-out” gas for car thieves? Patent pending…
Listen “techcafe” (if that is your real name), do me a favour pal…
…please look both ways before you cross and don’t ignore obvious dangers, just because you have the “right away” in your little track suit with your little iPod blaring away…You need to be careful out there, son…
🙂
look Mr BadAss, i’m always conscientious when walking/riding… it’s just too bad that asshole motorists (like yourself perhaps) have such a grossly inflated sense of entitlement, that they think it’s within their right to endanger the lives of pedestrians (and cyclists) on OUR roads.
btw, a license to drive a motor vehicle is a PRIVILEGE, and people like you don’t deserve it, ya cowardly fucker.
Why is it anymore of a “privilege” to drive a engine-powered vehicle, than it is to prattle along on a bi-cycle?
I mean, I think it’s pretty safe to say there wouldn’t even BE any roads for you to make a nuisance of yourself on, if it weren’t for the cash input from motorized vehicles, wouldn’t you agree (dounbtful, but hopeful)?
To ME, it is a two-way street (pun intended), and both parties need to look out for their own safety, as well as follow the rules…although you yourself have admitted breaking the rules on your bi-cycle, haven’t you?
Let’s say I am making a right turn in my gas-guzzling old Ford, all the “pedestrians” have gone across, although the little green man is still ,well, green…I start my turn, just as techcafe plows into the intersection and strikes my car, killing himself, but more importantly, putting a large dent in my beautiful, if not quite pristine, 1969 Thunderbird (sorry Matthew, more “me” stuff, I’m afraid)…
…here’s my dilemma. Techcafe was on a bi-cycle, and was proceeding, technically on a green x-walk, but he was, as he does, amount his trusty 2 wheeled steed. He’s dead, but I have a large dent.
Should I feel bad for his widow and 9 children (he’s religious, and has gone forth and multiplied) and allow them to keep all the insurance money, or should I make a claim for the damages to my car?
Did I mention it’s a ’69 t-bird? That shit’s harrrd when you kick/punch/run into it…so don’t!
I’m gonna take the cash, AND I’m gonna see if I can tap into a bit of little techcafe junior’s college fund, just for the stress that your manuever cost me.
You see, it’s a privelge for you to peddle your little bi-cycle on the roads that I, and other drivers, paid for, and you better be fucking more careful from now on, if you ever want to finish your little IT course at Miss Murphy’s Business College, you two -wheeled spandex-wearing, grape-smuggling, menace!
If techcafe is female I think I saw her today. She came riding down Rainnie St on the sidewalk, then proceeds still at full speed through the crosswalk going down Duke St without even bothering to see if any cars were coming. She had no idea how close she came to flying in the air with a very nasty landing. But then as a cyclist she can do whatever she wants.
Holy frick, I hope Techcafe gets plowed by a motorcycle and implodes into another dimension. Where there are only cars.
Interntet tough guy was a tag… not an invite…
Hey, OP, no-one’s a “tough guy” here…we’re calling it like we see it…
Whatever you say, tough guy…
Sammy Joe, of course they would have charged you. You would have cut off a pedestrian and then killed him. You’re a fucking psycho, and a cowardly one at that.
i’d say that it’s a pretty cowardly act, for a motorist to intentionally endanger the life of a pedestrian, even if that ridiculous rant about juicing your car with 40,000 volts was only hyperbole, mr frosty.
as for sammy joe, she just seems psychotic, a sociopath perhaps… “i slipped the gear into reverse and waited for him to come closer…” ugh, shudder… that kind of twisted mentality is too scary, and creepy. UP your meds maybe?? cuz they don’t seem to be working.
i don’t know about anyone else, but i’d rather take on the pissed-off pedestrian, instead of some psychopathic motorist, any day. even if i were to get a punch in the face for driving like an idiot, that would still be better (for everyone involved) than running over/killing another human being. not that i think punching someone in the face is the right thing to do either.
if a motorist ‘nearly’ runs over/kills a person, then i’d say the driver damn well deserves what’s coming to him/her at that point. i mean, you could have *easily* killed that person… so i’d say the pedestrian has every right to be irate with you. a dent in your car door is *nothing* compared to taking a LIFE, obviously.
so yeah, using your car as a weapon… that’s a pretty cowardly act.
Frosty, “Why is it anymore of a ‘privilege’ to drive a engine-powered vehicle, than it is to prattle along on a bi-cycle?”
That’s like saying you should not require training or licensing to own a handgun (car) because anybody at all can blow a spit ball through a straw (bike). Come on! You’re smarter than this. Let’s just measure potential for harm to others. How many entire families can you wipe out with a bicycle? Your big assed T-Bird can do MUCH better than that.
Potential for harm to others is why doctors have to prove their education and experience before they’re allowed to “practice” on others.
And what about those nasty kids who like your shiny, Electrified T-Bird so much? They should DIE if they make the mistake of touching it? Suddenly you’re a scary neighbour, Frosty. That’s cold, man! Real cold.
And have you thought of what electricity would do to bird poop when combined with your paint job…? The neighbour may complain of the smell.
A well placed key would tell the driver that she was being an asshole. Then again, I see people walk out in front of cars all the time, a stupid move, and are astonished that cars don’t lock the brakes up to stop in time. Bikes are just as bad, weaving in and out of traffic and riding in peoples blind spots in traffic. Apparently some people need a kindergarden refresher on how to properly cross the street.
wow Kay, i’m actually impressed with you (this time)… the handgun vs spitball (potential for harm) argument is a good one.