I love ya to pieces, boyfriend, but you are riper than a sack of dead rats sprayed with Harbour stench. You don’t wear underwear and wear the same pair of pants all fucking week…don’t even get me started on the skidmarks….yuck. You’re a professional 30 year old man, smart as hell but dirty as Pigpen.
—Even An Entire Bottle of Axe Would Smell Better
This article appears in Jul 2-8, 2009.
mmm sounds hot……..
Ask him to shower with you
Don’t tell us, tell him. If he doesn’t start cleaning his ass then DTMFAN (to quote Mr Savage).
Nearly lost my lunch.
Fresh skiddies – MMMMMMMMMMM.
A former workplace had one of these individuals on staff…it was considered by all his co-workers to be extremely gross and prudent to maintain at least a 6 foot radius in order to keep one’s stomach contents in situ.
I sympathize with the OP. As you are closest to this fellow finding a tactful way to inform him that his current hygiene standards are way too low would be doing him, you and everyone else in his vicinity a huge favour.
I like JD’s idea shower together and save water while your at it.
Bottle of Polmolive dish soap, mop and garden hose. Two burley men to hold him down Randy style and have at it. Problem solved for a few days. Suggest using the grease cutting antibacterial formula.
what kind of 30 year old shits his pants?
not a professional one that’s for fucking sure.
Here’s a solution:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crfGXmxJ1vM
It could also be a medical problem with the sweat glands (provided he does shower). If he doesn’t shower, then he’s a dirty pig.
ha ha ha thanks ttfn…it could double as a sex toy
what kind of professional also wears the one pair of pants the entire week?
those slacks probably have the scents of: pee, farts, shit essences, sweat, ass crack sweat, etc. honestly, i feel bad for the other people this so-called professional works with.
if you were my co-worker and you showed up to work smelling like dry urine and ass crack i’d leave a note on your desk/chair about the offices “no scents” policy.
If you love him you’ll tell him. Maybe at first he’ll be embarrassed but eventually he’ll be grateful. It’s a need to know issue.