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To the stunned bitch with the giant sunglasses driving the red jeep this afternoon on Wyse Rd. – What makes you think that driving with TWO dogs in your lap/hanging out the driver window is a good idea????
—Captain Slow
This article appears in Apr 23-29, 2009.
12 Comments
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What does “stupic” mean? Is that a combination of “stupid” and “hispanic”?
If so, I hope that catches on!
…brilliant, OP!
Posting a rhetorical question and signing it “Captain Slow” must be the most awesome display of sarcasm I have ever witnessed.
My brain hurts. You are my new god.
…and by the way, my post was not sarcastic. I truly am in awe.
Saw my first bumper sticker traffic regulator driver the other day… can’t think of the name you/we had for them off the top of my head. He was driving an accent hatchback. no wonder he doesn’t want anyone driving with any sort of force… he’d be smooshed worse than Oprah belly flopping onto a squirrel.
OP, if (as captain slow) you are one of these people….
you can go fuck yourself.
BWT, yes she’s a twat.
Mobile speed bump. My fav place to encounter one of these is on the highway – 80km for single lanes, 120km for passing lanes. I’ve been moved to murderous intent more than once by these drivers.
I am Captain Slow! I am in no way asociated with those mobile speedbump cocksuckers!! If any of you watch Top Gear (UK motoring show), Captain Slow is a nickname of one of the presenters. I didn’t think that posting under this name I would stir up the slow drivers debate. I also want to punch myself for proofreading my entire post (which was much longer that what is shown here???) and then have a typo in the title!!
I still have no use for the idiot I posted about.
And Three, you’re driven to muderous intent by someone doing 120 in the passing lane????? I’m no slow driver, but 120 is a perfectly fine speed on the Hwy (as long as you’re passing and not just in the left lane for no reason).
Man, this post reminded me of an incident earlier this week… I was walking home, and there was a young woman driving down the street eating soup. She had a tim horton’s container of soup in one hand, and the spoon in the other. It’s a pretty slow and straight street, but I was wondering what was going to happen once she got to North Street and would have to turn or gun it across at rush hour.
What I meant by my post, Captain, are those people who slow down the entire line of traffic by driving 80km when it is single lane, opposing traffic but speed up to 120km when we hit a passing area. That pisses off every driver stuck behind the MSB because no one can pass and when the end of the passing area is reached the MSB will again slow down to 80km. I’ve seen people do some crazy, dangerous passes because of this situation.
You’d know how chuckle-worthy “murderous intent” is (coming from me) if we knew each other in RL.
Oh yeah…I see now. I was kinda wondering what you had meant. I’m no fan of those guys either.
One day I was leaving a grocery store and a lady drove past me (in the parking lot) while eating an apple with one hand, and holding a cell to her ear with the other!! This leads to the age old question of who’s driving the car??? What if a kid ran out from between cars in front of her?
I would love to see one of these “pet in the lap” douche bags pulled over and ticketed with dangerous driving.
Is it James they call Captain Slow?
Hammond’s the hampster and it’s not Jeremy unless you count the refueling time in his GT.
Right on, Bro Tim! No colour of hair dye would do much to raise this douche’s IQ if she’s blonde. They deserve to be ticketed!!!