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Some days I walk around grinning like an idiot…others I mull through like a zombie.
What have you done to me?
I’ve fallen hard…so hard I can’t find myself anymore. I wish we could drop the “ground rules” and start something else. I wish you could love me, my friend.
—ALG
This article appears in Mar 19-25, 2009.
6 Comments
Why don’t you tell him/her how you feel. I did and we’re together 13 years. And we still manage to be friends.
My example is probably not the best, because I told my “just friends” friend how I felt and she ended up leaving me and almost driving me to kill myself. But, yeah, the best thing is to be honest.
Oi hrmlover, that’s terrible. I’m sorry.
OK, first of all, I’m sick of people pouring their entire means of happiness into one person. No matter how stable you are in a relationship, there’s always one chance that it could fall apart. If that is your only source of happiness, don’t be surprised if you feel like a failure for months on end. Invest your happiness in other forms of life to be truly happy.
Have you brought the topic up to your friend? If they’re any kind of friend they won’t devalue your feelings, although I will admit this will change things — moreso for you than them. I had a situation like this before when I was on the other side of it. I just wasn’t that into him, and while nothing changed on my part, it did for him and eventually he couldn’t be my friend anymore.
This one’s tricky. I’d think long and hard before I said anything, but dude, if it’s upsetting you this much you need to get it out before you go crazy and let it out in a way you don’t have control over.
Who knows, your friend mine actually feel the same way (or be open TO feeling the same way)?
I think the point here is the minute you started having those kinds of feelings for your friend your relationship changed. It sucks, but it happened and you just can’t turn feelings on and off, so it might be one of those tough break types of things and you really have nothing to lose if you bring it up, because things already changed and they’re making you miserable regardless….
….I dunno, just random thoughts from someone who’s been there. *shrug*
Here’s what I always said to my kids: Friends will last far longer than relationships.