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Took my car in for routine maintenance to a place off Kempt Rd on Tuesday morning. As I walked in to the customer service area to drop off my keys a large dog stood up, wagging his tail, to greet me. I guess he knocked over the coffee travel mug of his owner, who was sitting on one of the chairs. Her coffee spilled all over the end table, drenching brochures, magazines and the desk phone belonging to the business. She did nothing except pick up her mug and return it to the upright position while continuing her cell phone conversation. The coffee started to drip on the floor, milady continued her conversation and a man came from the side with a wad of paper towels and started to mop up the mess around the desk phone. He spoke gently to the dog, called him ‘buddy’ so I assumed he was also the dog’s owner and the woman’s partner. At one point she cut her eyes towards him and muttered ‘thanks’. When he finished and walked around behind the counter and asked if I had already been taken care of, I realized he was the auto shop staff.
She was still on the phone when I left. A small example of self absorption that erodes, bit by tiny bit, the manners that keep society functioning above mayhem. Not sure if I should have spoken; she wasn’t actively harming anyone. (her call did not involve hospitals, imminent death of loved one or a hostage situation) I have and will continue to speak out when I see harm being done but this? Should we or shouldn’t we? —Molly mulling it over
This article appears in Jan 8-14, 2015.
Bad Dog Molly!!!
I always ‘sign’ my posts
There does seem to be more and more selfish behaviour these days. And much of it revolves around phone use. I think there was a bitch about that recently. People seem to think they are in their own little world when they are blabbing into their phones. I stare daggers at people when they are doing annoying things but haven’t taken to saying something yet.
My impression is that you were probably better off staying out of the affairs of others. After all, her inaction harmed no one and nothing, save your delicate sensibilities. The sequence of actions that you described are a strange barometer for self-absorption.
The conclusion that she was being selfish is taking the “glass half-empty” perspective. Conversely, the “glass half-full” perspective is that her partner was excessively selfless (maybe he likes to do all sorts of things for her regardless of reciprocation) or excessively inpatient. Neither of these would be unusual (or even harmful) patterns of behaviour for a couple.
Perhaps she was planning to clean up her mess after her phone call, and not on your timeline or his timeline. Often times I find myself cleaning up after my spouse immediately after she causes a mess. This is because I’m one part anal and two parts inpatient. What might come off as her being self-absorbed – by not cleaning up immediately due to various distractions – is actually nothing more than my need to adhere to an excessive standard of cleanliness. Again, this is not an unusual behaviour.
sorry meow, thought it was stated – the man who wiped up her mess was not her partner – he was the auto shop employee.
I was not objecting to her cell phone use ( I find loud conversations annoying but it had no impact on my business there)
what I found objectionable in her behaviour was her making no attempt at all to sop up the coffee that was all over the business’ courtesy phone. she was in someone else’s place, made a mess (possible damage to their phone) and ignored it. and like a princess, expected staff to clean it up for her.
re:personal timeline – yes that causes impatience between family members, room mates, co-workers who share space. he who dislikes mess usually cleans first and most.
but I come back to the location. she was a customer in a shop having an apparently non-critical phone conversation.
also, not my use of the word, term or concept of selfish. I tend to ayn rands ‘virtue of selfishness’ definition so rarely use that word in the way it is commonly used. self-absorbed, head up one’s ass, oblivious are more my terms of preference for this behaviour
Oh yeah I interpreted that they were partners and he worked there – a lot of those shops are family businesses so that made sense to me.
Completely different story if they have no prior non-business relationship.
MANNERS MAYKETH MAN
“A small example of self-absorption that erodes, bit by tiny bit, the manners that keep society functioning above mayhem.” Molly mulling it over
As the motto says over the iron gates of New College, Oxford (founded in 1382), “Manners Mayketh Man.” It was true then and it is still true today. I was over for a conference. Another triumph as usual.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!