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In November I got dumped by my boyfriend of over four years. He went out west to work for six months straight, then came back for a visit before he would be heading out again. He wasn’t even going to be around for Christmas, so when he told me before flying back home that he had to tell me something important when he gets here I got excited and thought he was going to propose. I get the shock of a life time when he breaks up with me and said he’s found someone else! Some other woman who also went out west for work! I was just devastated, crying myself to sleep. Of course I would seek support from my family and friends, but I didn’t get that! Instead I got told what I could have done to keep him. If I moved out west with him and made good money myself, he wouldn’t have left me. If I got in good shape like him, he wouldn’t have left me. I should have went back to school. Apparently he’s too good for me because he’s toned up while I’m fat, clears over $10,000/month while I only clear about $1,400 at my retail job. Forget about all the times I stood by him, like when his dad practically disowned him and many other hardships he’s gone through. I’ve loved him and treated him like a king. But now that he’s making big bucks out west, I’m not worthy of him anymore. —Spent the holidays single for the first time since 2009
This article appears in Dec 25-31, 2014.
Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, take your time, and be very glad that you lost this ass.
So how have you been, Nukka?
distance is hard on a relationship. op, it could have been the other way around – you may have found someone else closer to home while he was gone.
grieve then carry on.
Some more salt?
No seriously there girlie… why is it YOUR loss?
^^^^^^^^^^^^ What the frog person said.
Sounds like you may have dodge a Tool there OB, shake it off and move on, end of the day he cheated on you, not sure about your family and friends, not very supportive.
Sorry OP, that is pretty brutal. Can’t believe anybody’s friends and family would say things like that! You deserve a good support system.
I’ve been there girl. Just hold your head up high, throw out or sell anything that belongs to him, and get on with life. You are better than that. I have been there. Oh yes. I know how that feels. Bet true to you. None of us are getting out alive so find someone for you or revel in being single.
I waited four years for someone who taught English overseas and he fell in love with someone else and married her. Ouch. I saved his life one night prior from a brutal attack. I should have left him there. Be yourself and know that you are better than what you are getting.
http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-ca…
And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
~ Lord Byron
Keep Calm-o-matic, Thoughts canvas. Retrieved from http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/?engine=thoughts#create
^^ its not valentine’s day yet ya old softy
lol, I can see being pissed at being jilted, but to wish you had left the guy for dead?
yikes. just because someone falls in love with someone else it doesn’t make them a bad person. it happens. what if the shoe were on other foot? like yours? nothing you can do about it except break the other’s heart as softly and as decently as you can.
Time to lighten the mood with a little satire …….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jl7GDRdC9GU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jl7GDRdC9G…
i hope you don’t mind that i post your links, le matou, i feel bad when they don’t show up
^^^ Thanks. My com-phew-tor won’t copy links onto this site for some reason.
at your service, sir
Most of us have gone through similar angst in our youth, OP, and I guarantee you that time will heal your pain. Learn your lessons from this experience (like, next time, don’t treat a man like a ‘king’ – it guarantees nothing in return) and move forward. There are better things ahead for you.
Unless you were going to school here or had some important reason for staying here, why didn’t you move out there?
From the way oil prices are dropping, your ex might be coming back with an empty wallet. As far as your ‘support’ goes, OP, I’d tell them to stuff a pine cone up their arse sideways and mind their own fucking business. You poor kid. Learn to be your own best friend.
Sweetie, you know what? What your ex did to you was really mean. You have a right to feel hurt, but there will come a day, sooner than you know, when you will realize that you are so lucky that he is no longer part of your life.
But you know what else? It’s not only the guys making big money out West, or in other hot spots–girls are doing those big-bucks jobs too. I think a change of scenery and an upgrade in your skills could be just what the doctor ordered. You should take a look at the options–you might surprise yourself!
Too many girls here in the Maritimes sit around moping after guys working, raking in cash, and living it up somewhere “away”– when there is no reason that the girls couldn’t be doing exactly the same thing.
Some people might say that no amount of money can mend a broken heart–but listen to me when I tell you that it can go a long way in rebuilding your confidence, and the magical thing about confidence is that it makes winners flock towards you, while the jerks and losers just disappear.
(And, it is possible to meet nice people in or from a bizarro place like Fort Mac. My husband is married to one.)
“Too many girls here in the Maritimes sit around moping after guys working, raking in cash, and living it up somewhere “away”– when there is no reason that the girls couldn’t be doing exactly the same thing.”
BINGO. However most girls here want a guy who works out west to come back and take care of them and their multiple kids. I’ve seen it. Instead of waiting for a meal ticket, go out and better yourself. It’s good for the soul, like DDP yoga.
Your former dude is a dirt bag ! Cheer up there are all kinds of guys out there that would appreciate you !
Let me explain things to you lady: guys are looking for the best eggs to fertilize and women are looking for the best quality sperm. In the great market place of love people sometimes realize they can up their asking price. You can either up your standards and invest in yourself or settle for what you will get as an overweight single chick making minimum wage.
Life is such a rich tapestry of learning and experience, Ms. Thanks. Don’t make your own tapestry only a foot long.
Fight your fears. Only then will you have life by the arse.
I’m sorry, but I agree with Oakeshott, OP. An important part of life is about improving yourself. Seems like you don’t have the ambition your ex has and he wanted a woman who would bring home her own bacon instead of eating all of his. It was a douchy shallow move on his part, but come on now, you didn’t see this coming??? I’m sure you’ve never seen hot doctors or accountants going out with chubby McDonald’s or Wal-Mart staff, so you should have been aware of the Laws of Biology and Evolution that depict individuals of relatively equal levels of physical attractiveness/economic status/intelligence/etc usually pair up. OK, there are couples where one is making a lot more money than their partner, BUT said partner is significantly more attractive. In all honesty, I’ve never seen a couple where one partner is more attractive AND has a higher income than the other (like you and your ex) that have stayed together more than a few months, even if the uglier poorer half has a dazzling personality.
I’ve seen this exact thing happen to other women, OP. It sucks but move on and work on yourself….or stay entitled.
PS, I wonder if this is the same girl who wrote this bitch!!
http://www.thecoast.ca/LovetheWayWeBitch/a…
In any relationship with another human being, we are all expected to bring something to the table, usually some combination of talents, personality, skills, intelligence, insight, humour, etc., and maybe even some kind of “sparkle”. People like others for “the whole package.” (Even people who date supermodels will admit that they grow tiresome if there is nothing else in the person beyond their physical beauty.)
The OP just needs to find an area in work and/or life where she can find enjoyment and satisfaction. Those two things will lead to more confidence, and a drive for more self-improvement. OP, you need to find somewhere where you can shine! (A friend of mine who is a gifted Phys Ed teacher says she always tells her students, especially the girls, “Start With a Walk.” That is, every day, make time for a walk, if nothing else.)
I’m not saying that’s easy, but if anyone is in a dead-end job, making not-enough money to have any left over for living, and is unhappy with her physical appearance, than there’s no time like the new year to start making small changes that add up to big improvements.
Start doing stuff for YOU, OP, and believe me you will find you have far less time for people who who treat other people badly.
Oh, and it wouldn’t hurt to take a look at the NSCC course offerings. The training is relativley affordable, and they can get you on track for a way better job in a short time. I don’t recommend most of the private career schools, as they are very expensive and I am not convinced that their courses are all that great.
All these people commenting on economic disparity between partners, I haven’t really observed this to be the case, My friends mother is a travel agent, her husband makes well over 100k a year and is a professor, My friend was a cab driver, his wife was a school teacher in the union, One of my coworkers drives a 20 year old truck, her husband drives a brand new Lexus RX350 suv and is an architect, My grandmother works for the government and taught school and makes good money, my grandfather was a carpenter, My aunt makes over 500k a year, her husband made 100k maybe…. All of these people are equal beauty wise Love doesn’t come with a price tag baby, and you can sit in your million dollar house with your $500 lamps and $15,000 appliances and cry at night cause nobody loves you, Just as much as I can with my Valu village lamps and white appliances from 1991, The other day I had a beautiful lady hit on me driving a brand new 70k Mercedes 4×4, I drive a 20 year Jeep, She was very pretty, In fact, It’s the differences that attract us to one another not just the similarity’s…
I think the money is only a symptom of the larger issue–OP was rather cruelly dumped after being led to believe the relationship was sound, and rightly feels depressed about that, along with a bunch of other stuff like a low-paying dead-end job and her own self-image.
So, what’s the best way to get out of the funk? To start doing things that make you feel good, that are fun, interesting, put you around other interesting people, and yes, even get on a track to a way better job situation.
The guy in this story isn’t a bad guy for going to where the money is, and the girl isn’t a “lesser” person for doing the lower-paying job. But if the girl wants to pull herself out of this misery, she should look at some of those so-called “guys’ ” jobs (or whatever she’s interested in) and take charge of her own life. Again, the money is secondary–the real result would be what getting real, highly-valued skills and dramatically improved career options would do for anyone’s confidence. Life would suddenly have a lot more to offer than pining for a jerky ex.
I get so frustrated when I hear about girls who think the high-paying jobs “away” are only for the boyfriend, never something they themselves could do. Well, lots of girls do all kinds of interesting and well-paid work–and I think the OP should too!
I would like to offer a sincere appology as a man on this dickweeds behavior. If you ever just want a frind to talk to I would be there for you D.M.