I’m tired of all the anti-ginger hate in this city. We’re no different than people with black, blonde, brown hair, or whatever other color they may have. We can’t control being born with red hair. So fuck off. Stop pointing and staring. Stop it with the “Yo ginger” comments. Stop trying to count our freckles. Just fuck right off. —Ginger Commander

This article appears in Apr 14-20, 2011.

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78 Comments

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  3. Yeah, well you can just fuck right off yourself you soul-less red-headed fuck!

    Hay, someone post that youtube vid of the kid crying about being a ginger and how they do have souls… I’m too lazy/fat to look it up myself and post it.

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  7. Most of the time it’s just a joke, OP, so plz 2 be lightening up kthx.

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  10. I have no Ginger issues. I actually feel terrible laughing at all the ginger posts – but they are so unexpected and funny. MY friend has 2 ginger babies (her husband’s mom’s a ginger and those genes trump all I guess).

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  11. I feel your pain.

    I don’t how people I know I have a huge penis, but all the time they are shouting or yelling that I’m a “Big DIck”

    A very tough cross to bear…

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  12. Not ALL gingers are tragic-looking. I have a ginger friend who’s quite the cutie. Her hair isn’t orange though.

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  17. No I agree, mel.

    Also: I LOVE ginger kitties! I had me one a few years back. He was a riot. My cousin has one and he’s the stereotypical orange cat: fat, lazy, likes to eat and has an attitude, except he’s fatter, lazier and has a bigger attitude. I fucking LOVE that cat.

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  20. My kitty is a ginger!! Haha, he too is fat and has quite the personality. I’ve had him for two years now and still burst out laughing anytime I stare at his face. It’s just that cute <3. His expressions are priceless! Especially when he knocks things over; his eats go straight back, his pupils get massive and his tail whips quickly back and forth! Aw darn. Here we go with the kitties again :D!! I'll have to change my avatar when I go back home ...

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  21. Painey’s picture of ginger root resembles something that TTFN could come up with a spectacularly imaginative euphemism for. Agreed?

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  23. I’ll bet he’s a smarty pants, too, eh, mel?

    My oscar’s a grey tabby and my GOD that cat is dumb. He’s sweet and everyone’s friend and DUMMMMMBBBB. Not stupid, just dumb. He picks up on what other cats do though. When we had my dad’s cat, Felix, who was a criminal mastermind, he picked up some very bad habits of his. He lost most of them except the one where he smacks you if you walk past him when he’s sitting on the ledge on the half wall in the kitchen.

    Little fucker.

    Anyway, I always said that grey tabbies and orange tabbies are like cousins — the orange ones are smart and the grey ones are dumb as bricks.

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  32. You guys of course realize that the original bitch was just a clever ruse; bait set out by the Provincial Task Force on Ginger Internet Bullying. And when they subpoena the Coast for our IPs, Kyle’s gonna give it up quicker than P. Diddy in San Quentin, right?

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  36. The kitty on the right looks like Felix the Evil Pussy.

    That cat was the biggest asshole on the planet and honestly as smart as a human (certainly smarter than some of the trolls on here). I’d be sitting there minding my own business on the couch and he’d jump up, bite my arm and fuck off. And then he’d get into fist fights with you. He’d bite you or smack you and you’d tap him back and he’d smack you back and wouldn’t give the fuck up. And if you had food on a fork and looked away he’d jump up and steal the motherfucking food off the fork.

    He also had a pack he hung out with. He was tiny and somehow managed to get the other kittehs three times his size to be sub to him. He even invited them in the house for lunch — one day my dad was watching TV and this random cat walked by licking his choppies. Dad called Felix’s gang “Felix and Friends.”

    Damn cat.

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  37. Finally sebastian makes a thread/post that is somewhat positive instead of his usual tripe.

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  40. One of the drawbacks to being ginger is the fair skin that goes along with it. After a week in Cuba, my arms are brown, but once the shirt comes off I look like something on an autopsy table.

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  43. I like goin’ swimmin’ with red-headed women and
    Swim between their legs
    Swim between their legs
    Swim between their legs . . .

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  47. but, but, you have no souls, really. what you want us to do red, bow down and kiss your asses, if you were female, maybe?

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  53. I’m sick of gingers coming to this country and stealing our jobs, stealing our women, and spreading their ginger cooties.

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  55. Thankfully gingers don’t end up at the beach in the summer….otherwise they might spontaneously combust. Gingers….ewww.

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  57. I’m a redhead or “ginger” and I haven’t had any ginger hate since I was in elementary.

    “Anti-ginger hate” doesn’t make sense.. it’s like a double negative. I’m anti-ginger hate.. meaning I am anti any hate toward gingers 😀 lol.

    Your red hair makes you unique and makes you stand out a bit because it’s different.. it doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. Embrace what you have and be happy to know that our (redhead’s) hair doesn’t turn grey.. it just turns white 🙂

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  62. Well Meow, it seems that Hogwarts was not quite what the Weasley clan had been led to expect.

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  66. Donk: he is legitimate — he just looks like the Spencers. Di’s brother is a ginger.

    And I SWEAR it’s a fucking conspiracy out there with all them gingers. I counted 9 of them this morning on my travels into work. Only two were actually orange haired, but man, NINE.

    In any event, Prince Harry’s one ginger I could def hit up. He’s adorable!

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  67. Unless this rant is really about the Cockney rhyming slang use of the word Ginger?

    Ginger Beer = Queer

    I’m not condoning the use of the word, just pointing out that it is a possibility.

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  76. There were only two gingers in my life that I found detestable – one was the cunt my ex left me for 30 years ago and the other the insensitive, batshit crazy wife of a dear friend of mine – the following sums up both of those destructive bad-tempered cows perfectly:

    ‘If you love a ginger, set her free – if she follows you everywhere you go, pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your next girlfriend in the hospital, she’s yours.’

    I dated a ginger briefly in my 20s but couldn’t get past the pale eyelashes.

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  77. YES!!!

    Bitch of the year, right here!!

    Be careful guys, you don’t want a soul-less ginger ninja coming after your asses.

    deadly.

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  78. “You’ll get into heaven, Naveed. Sebastian won’t for obvious reasons.”

    Well I don’t think there is a mythical punishment strong enough for you Nice Goin’ Fat. Hell wouldn’t be commensurate with the evil in your heart.

    (Here comes the ban – I accosted the untouchable one! Oh no!)

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