I struck up a conversation with you and learned you were single as we sat together on the crowded bus. When I asked if you’d like to go out some time, you could have just said no. Looking at me as if I was shit on your shoe and snottily saying Nah Uh wasn’t necessary. —I took a chance

This article appears in Oct 30 – Nov 5, 2014.

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17 Comments

  1. Gross. Trying to pick up people on the bus is the worst idea. Nothing worse than being cornered by a stranger when you’re on the way to work and having awkward advances made at you. Public transit is not the place for you to “take a chance” asking out a person you met 5 minutes ago. Yes, OB, you are a creep.

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  2. Maybe it’s just me but I think it is in very bad form to hit on a “captive audience” (such as a co-worker, a commuter sharing a seat, or a server in a coffee shop or restaurant), unless there is very obvious evidence of interest on the other person’s part. By obvious I mean things like initiating conversation, asking a lot of very personal questions or making physical contact. If the “stickup chick” in this case seemed perturbed by your advances then rightly so. You admittedly struck up the conversation and she was trapped beside you on a crowded bus. You left her with no elegant way to get out of the situation. You need to learn to read signals better and you should never hit on someone who is trapped because they are doing their job or, as in this case, happens to be stuck beside you on transit. Hopefully, you will learn from this and accept that you were the problem in this case. Don’t give up though. Keep working on your people skills but try to consider the other person’s situation in the future and wait for some sort of obvious expression of interest before asking a “chick” out.
    Hope this helps.

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  7. Was your cologne more pungent than a skunk’s stench? Did you use Captain Morgan’s as your mouthwash? Was your nose hair braided to your ZZ-top beard? Did you emit a long string of sputtering farts? Are you 68 years old with no teeth and a wonky bladder?

    Did you ever consider that she might like her single status? Or that she might prefer ladies?

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  9. The Great Gildersleeve: “Was your cologne more pungent than a skunk’s stench? Did you use Captain Morgan’s as your mouthwash? Was your nose hair braided to your ZZ-top beard? Did you emit a long string of sputtering farts? Are you 68 years old with no teeth and a wonky bladder?’

    For the sake of all those you encounter, I hope that this wasn’t a verbal self-portrait you painted. 🙂

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  10. Ugh Don’t be THAT guy, the bus troll. Honey, get a car before asking bus bitches out on a dates, will ya? Like what are you guys gonna do, take the metro transit to the movies? How romantic. Or will you double her on your Schwin 10-speed bike?

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  11. She said no, so she is stuck up? Just be thankful she didn’t puss out as to not hurt your feelings and lead you on with a fake number. It’s guys like you who ruin it for everyone.

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  12. Just because cornering ’em works for Jian it doesn’t mean its for everyone. People with the star power to pull that off aren’t taking the 60.

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  17. Some of you people are seriously fuckedin the head!!!

    After dozens of faceless “Loves” about lost connections and missed opportunities the general consensus is OB’s a loser creep. Fuck that!!! OB seems to have a lot more courage then most people do. In my experience if a girl doesn’t want to be asked out, even on a public bus, she’ll casually mention a boyfriend in the conversation.

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