The only thing that guys want from me is sex and to be my friend. What the hell, where are the good guys in this city? I would like to go on a date and not the back seat of my car. —Too fat? Not fat enough? Ugly? Too perfect? What’s the problem?

This article appears in Feb 17-23, 2011.

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149 Comments

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  3. Junior or sophomore, OB?

    Bars are not the place to meet ‘nice guys’, and why do you let the ‘bad boy’ talk you into the back seat?

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  7. If you don’t respect yourself then no one else will. And the guys your sleeping with all know each other and know you’re easy unfortunately. Stop giving it up on the first date and you’ll find a good man in no time at all! There’s lots out there!!

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  8. wow, the timing of more’s comment definitely got a chuckle outta me….
    though it was very NGFat-esque.

    I’d also expect she’s not going for the ‘mature’ type either….
    Hint: Opting for guys at their sexual peak leads to …. ?

    yup.

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  9. Guys who just want to fuck you can smell insecurity a mile away — they know you’re craving the attention/affection so they capitalize on it and throw some attention your way thinking you’re an easy lay.

    RC’s right — stop giving it up so easily and you’ll find what you’re looking for. Worst mistake you can make, in general, is putting out on the first date. Make him wait. The sex is better anyway when you actually KNOW the person you’re sleeping with and actually have feelings (real feelings) for them and vice verse.

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  13. The OP said that guys want to get her in the back seat of the car. She didn’t say that she actually went along with that plan. Just that she’s tired of dating guys with this expectation. But who can blame them? Since sex has turned into a recreational sport it’s no wonder that there are a lot of players looking to score. Maybe the OP would prefer someone with integrity and respect. I say, keep looking. Don’t lower your standards. There are a few guys who actually prefer women who aren’t so easy.

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  15. As someone who doesn’t “give it away”, but is always asked- I can justify your frustration. They either love you and pester you with txts and calls until you tell them you’re not interested, or they romance you until they say “You’re really awesome, I’m not ready for a relationship- really just looking for fun.” Where are the fellas who don’t try to rush me? I find this actually transcends gender, many women are rushing men as well.

    I’m looking for someone who is willing to let things happen naturally, over time- I feel like everyone is in a hurry to get results. They want love, or sex, and they don’t want to wait for either. If anyone has any specific clues as to where to find these people- I’m all ears.

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  16. ha ha, TTFN, I had a friend in uni who the boys called Turtle (well, not to her face), because once you got her on her back, there was no flipping her over!

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  17. I never put out on the first date 🙂

    Being easy doesn’t make you popular, just means you go out a lot 🙁

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  18. Your first mistake is dating guys who don’t even have a car of their own. Why do you insist on volunteering your car for services rendered? Brings new meaning to “auto-body.”

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  22. Excellent! We need a tally so far! I know I’m in, RC’s in, you’re in….who else???

    Hands up now plz!

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  24. It’s the official ‘bitchers weight loss club’ where a bunch of us are in the process of losing weight and to celebrate we’re going to the Keg in july-ish to stuff our faces 🙂

    Comin’, OC? You don’t have to be on a diet to come 😛 It’s for all bitchers 🙂

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  25. There are good guys around, just like there are good ladies around… Both are just drowned out by the majority of coldhearted bitches, players, bar stars and bros who virtually take over our city every fall.

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  27. I’m most looking forward to meeting you, 195 *wink*

    hahaha.

    that sounded creepy, didn’t it? 🙁

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  31. Can we turn it into a food eating competition? I would like a 72-ounce steak to celebrate my progress when it finally comes time! Although as much as I am looking forward to The Keg- it’s the rest of the evening at the Lower Deck I am truly anticipating! I kindly and selflessly volunteer at least one body shot to everyone from the Bitchers who is in attendance. YEEE HOOO!

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  33. Then there was a woman in Nfld. Hub-Unit and the band used to call ‘Orca, Killer Tail’ ’cause she’d blow any guy under the table for beer.

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  34. TTFN: not sure yet — likely a mutally decided upon date that works for most.

    Jonno: no. no eating competitions.

    …guess who has HER bossy panties on today *wink*

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  35. “TTFN: not sure yet — likely a mutally decided upon date that works for most.”

    that’s what I thought about lazertag….
    good luck with that.

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  36. Hay. It wasn’t my idea — it was RC’s! And everyone looooves food…or something.

    Poor zed 🙁 *hugs*

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  37. Sounds like it could be fun! And all of you who are losing weight, you can stop looking for it. I found it. Will gladly return it to you at the summit.

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  38. For those of you who are tired of the ‘rush’ in this area.
    I agree with all those who have posted, you should take your time. (I’m in agreement, I must be coming down with something like ebola )
    I got the old balls deep surprise one day when I came home early, so after 20 years of marriage I left her.
    But because I didn’t want any chance of the old rebound relationship BS … I waited…& tried bed buddies, & waited… & tried working girls & as I’ve heard (and never really believed) I met someone completely by accident, because of similar interests & its been awhile now, seems to be fine or is as far as I’m concerned & she hasn’t left me ……………..yet ~;)
    I think that many of you are right, whether it be upbringing, personal expectations etc, I believe many, if not most of us, are (or have) rushing around looking for something we don’t actually recognize or completely understand.
    But look at the alternative, its life, perhaps not happy as can be…………or Death !

    Have a nice day

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  39. I’m in. Early July please, too much is happening at the end of the month.

    zZz, I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m too fucking old, to go rolling around on concrete, getting my ass kicked.

    A comfortable environment, with good food & tunes, that’s more my speed for a Bitchers Summit. Don’t forget we have to stop by the “honey usher” too 🙂

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  41. ? you didn’t really check the page I posted then did you….
    there’s no running, no crouching…
    if you can walk and point at the same time… you can play.
    Hell, I think we can rig something up for TTFN’s big ol’ floppies and turn her into Lazer Terminator…

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  44. Actually, I thought it was supposed to be in August, than RC said something about July…

    But whenever, really.

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  46. Ha ha. We’ve been talking about this for months and months… We just need to pick a date and do ‘er up. Oh, and I feel like there was a cafe we were supposed to “drop in” on too and kick some arse.

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  47. Thougt I did zZz, obviously I missed that part. I’m more of a sniper anyway 😉

    Early July, late August no diff, I’d prefer sooner rather than later.

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  48. I said late July because I’m having a section early June – but Have it whenever you all are available and I’ll be there for diner. Date pending is whether I can make it to the lower deck part. As tempting as those body shots sound Jonno (sorry, but I threw up a little on that one…pregnancy…weak stomach).

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  50. Book another table for the Infamous Double-Dees. I’ll have to make sure they don’t drink or they’ll be staggering around my back.

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  51. Semi relevant: my mom told me the other night that if my boobs were any smaller I’d be flat chested, TTFN. WTF, mom? 🙁

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  52. lol ralmn, I’m miltary trianed. I stay the course, and don’t pull out until the task is finished.
    Besides, isn’t there a penality for early withdrawl?

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  58. I’m good for May – I won’t be drinking….or any fun…and I’ll play the preggo-about-to-burst-card the whole night. 🙂
    I’m out for the count from June 1 – July 15,and the following weekend is my birthday so I’ll be booked. But I’m 1 vs the 10+ of you all so by all means…pick a date and I’ll do my best to be there.
    I think earlier would be nice…we can try May…it’s just not as nice out for the patio at the lower deck.

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  61. Who says we’re limited to just one summit? Hugo and I have had several Saturday afternoon liquid lunches at a downtown boozerie named after an antiquated geometric figure. Semper Gumby, troops. Always flexible.

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  65. I sympathize with the OP. I’m a young, single woman, and it seems like more guys than not just want fuck buddies. “Well, i’d like to be your friend, too.” Wow. Really? Should i get excited about that? You’ll deign to be my friend, and occasionally stick it in me? Bitch please. The unfortunate part is, the ones we DON’T want (for good damn reasons) are all up on us. For once, though, i agree with sebastion: don’t agree to a date with a guy who doesn’t have a car. These are usually the ones who won’t give you what you want.

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  66. So how would one recognize an Ivan or a Hugo at the geometrical bar? Would you be sitting perpendicular to each other? Any distinguishing characteristics like a monocle or jug ears?

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  71. Yer a beaut, TTFN!! I’ve seen Ivan at a distance, so I can recognize him. And I have a great idea of what z3, jonno, PK and b195 look like. I imagine I’ll just follow the rowdiness, wherever we end up, and voila! There the bitches be 🙂

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  74. yeah o.p., you got it right. the only thing guys want is a piece of tail, and on a regular basis.
    now i won’t speak for all the males here, or even the females, but i like something a little more substantial in a relationship, although banging all the time is great too.
    just that i haven’t really found anyone, to be real enough, just wannabe miss. fucking perfect. and that’s where all you females fail, you are not, and never will be fucking miss. perfect. neither will the guys be mr. fucking perfectt, and if anyone says they are, well then, you are all fucking liars.
    you have no halos on your heads, and til i see one, you will be what you are, inmperfect fucking human scum. yes, even i will add myself to this, and o.p., if you just want to fuck, do it, fill your horny little boots. and guys like me, well, we will just take what is real, and no phoney bullshit. but why am i wasting my time posting this, someone will find it offensive, or too threatening or some shit. but hey, at least i’m staying on the fuckin topic of the bitch. and anyway, a big fuck you to all, that wish to have my rants deleted, i will be watching and doing the same thing, from now on. that is all, fuck off now.

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  75. Oooh well, zed and jonno have been outed so I can see how you got an idea of how THEY look (though, pictures do not do mr jonno justice — even cuter in person :)) but what does PK look like, ralmn? heehee ^_^

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  76. Haha….. you’re too kind PK. Although ‘OUCH’ rawr… talk about an unfair generalization! I, personally, do not drive and I would like to think that the only thing I am unable to offer is a lift- in the vehicular sense..

    Unfortunately, there is seemingly no one out there that would be able to offer me what *I* want……. and that certainly does not include the letters “N”, “S” or “A”…. and definitely not the words “fuck” and “buddy”. But I digress… After coming through life the route have I am starting to believe, perhaps, I’d be better off with a beautiful Blue Persian as a companion…..

    http://www.curtrich.com/bear.07.26.c.36.jp…

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  80. Wow. That was pretty lame. Even for you, jonno 😛

    I’m starting to believe this whole game of love/lust/whatever is just a supreme fucking joke…who knows what ANYONE wants? No one — because NO ONE WILL COMMUNICATE THIS. We ultimately end up going on body langugage and reading into interactions and mind reading and things just end up completely fucked up when it could’ve been as simple as communicating your wants and needs.

    …but I digress….

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  81. PK… a lot of the time… people don’t know what they want.
    they may know what they ‘think’ they want.. but that’s also what leads to things fucking up.

    and if you truly know what you want and don’t communicate it…
    you have only yourself to blame.

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  82. Yeah, I hear ya….I found out last night I could’ve had what I wanted back in first year university (well, I wanted it longer than that, actually — high school, and apparently I could’ve had it then too! :S). And now it’s OBVIOUSLY too late. So how’s THAT for fucking things up? LOL

    Kind of the kick in the ass I needed though…I’m seeing things A LOT differently today, and figure it’s time to cut the crap and actually GO for what I want. I’m almost thirty for fuck sakes!

    *sigh*

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  84. I turned 30 last year…don`t knock it!
    Z3 is the only one who knows what I look like…well a photoshoped version of myself.

    Z is right with the knowing what you want – and the biggest problem with knowing what you want is that you get this “idea“ in your head of how things are suppose to be and how someone should be, and no one can ever perfectly fit into the mental picture you create….so in the long run you end up disappointed. It`s better to just be happy alone. Or have really low expectations….lol

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  85. FA: I don’t think his wife would like it very much 😛

    It’s hard NOT to create a mental picture, RC, when you’re a day dreamer 😛 And it’s also hard when you meet someone who, logically, isn’t right for you, but your heart is all fluttery…it’s the flutters that get me…every. damn. time. ugh.

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  86. I want real names at the summit too – I`ll call Ivan, Hugo, even Jonno by their Bitch names – but I`m not publicly calling you Pretty Kitty, Miss PK. lol

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  87. Both Ivan and PF (Where are youuuuuu?) know what I look like. I have a profile on the Coast-affiliated dating site but the name doesn’t match up with this account. Also, the picture is quite old and needs updating but I’m just too lazy to change it. 😛

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  88. Jesus, just add me to FB, RC — you can find out what my real name is way before the summit 😛

    Zed can hook you up!

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  92. I kind of want to know what orgasmatron looks like, just so it can be the first person I shout out to when I get there. 😛

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  96. Well, I’ll give everyone a hint right now as to my “real” name…it’s the same as a pr0n star’s name (well, the first name is :P)

    Hahaha.

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  98. That’s too funny, PK. That just showed up in my FB feed and I took a look at who’s going… and I think I may have outed someone 😀 Well, in my OWN head. Though, there’s no visual there to help.

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  100. Why YES, hugo! I’m really a man named Ron.

    …and my penis is SO huge i can fellate myself 😉

    hahaha

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  102. “…and my penis is SO huge i can fellate myself” *facepalm.
    Not even real, nope. Thought rejected.

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  104. I’m sure there are videos out there on the interwebz of ol’ ronnie going down on himself…

    *shudder*

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  107. Yeah, he’s a cute little feller, ain’t he. And a very nice young man I must say. There’s just something about him that makes you want to send him off on a weeklong trip to the happiest place on earth. Bankok. ^^ with Lifesucks as his chaperone and tour guide. Screeeeeeeee! >; )

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  108. Bahahaha oh dear God, Ivan, I’m not sure I’d come back from that trip alive. 😛

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  110. he looks just how i pictured him too…i think we aim too high with summits. a little face time here and there, a nod and wink. i have met rosie and ivan and all i remember is we laugh and laugh

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  111. I’ve met, in real life, two bitchers/lovers, and have a few more on my facebook. I’m set to meet another one on Friday 🙂 I can’t wait!

    And of course, I know NGF — he’s my BFF ^_^ heehee

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  112. I don’t think so paingirl. I have met a few peeps off the site, and I think if we take all the people that have met each other on separate occasions, and then put all those together, there would probably be a decent gathering.

    I’d totally consider going to the board game coast thing too, but it has that “dating” aspect about it. I think that would make it harder just to go and chill with some people. I could be wrong about that too though.

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  114. you’re sweet angel, i don’t use other social networks…not too great sir, the bear literally had to close the shop. the three of us were too sick. i feel better but the hn13 exacerbated a very old back issue from before the time^^

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  115. And some of us know bitches who know other bitches that we haven’t met….I’ve met people who know other bitches that I don’t know and vice verse, FA 🙂 (though, oddly, some of the bitches I’ve met or talked to know people who I know who aren’t bitches…strannnnge heehee).

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  117. i think what we have here folks, is a an obscure sorta non violent clandestine very funny thingy ma jig^^works for me

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  118. Exactly P.K, I’ve even become really good friends with bitchers.

    Either way, I’m always down for meeting new people, what could possibly go wrong with getting a bunch of bitchers and ranters together for drinks 😛

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  119. Sorry Miss Pain! I really hope you feel better soon! No one likes being sick! Hope you`re at least resting and enjoying some good quality television.

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  120. I think my count is up to….. seven. OK, well nine if you count the times I have been in Ivan’s store but didn’t know it was him…. and neville whom I am 99.9% sure works in my office.

    But, six bitchers that I have actually had a face-to-face, meaningful interaction with. Some…. countless hours of fun. I would say that were I to be at an event with all six of them it would be one friggin hell of a time. I am sure they would all attest 😉 And craziness would certainly ensue.

    I think we should work it out for montrealman to be in town for that gathering, wha?? Qu’est-ce que vous pensez monsieur?? Un weekend a Halifax avec une soiree realise par vos meilleurs amis du Cote?

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  123. We’ll fill Annie’s Shirley Temple with roofies and then Sebastard can “take him to heaven” before “sending him to Hell”.
    Oooooh – even I found that a disturbing image >: 0

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  124. I’d love to meet my fellow bitchers, to finally put faces to the names – do many of you work in downtown Halifax?

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  128. I’m downtown…SGR area. I think there’s lots in the Scotia Square area. I have never met anyone! I know what a few look like because they come up on the side of the screen sometimes. PK…I’ll die if you’re DaTiffi….lol.
    I’ve attempted to meet Miss Pain….but my blondness got the best of my directional sense. So we need to be clear on when, where and that for a summit cause I won’t make it if the invites in code.

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  129. oh! RC, did you try to meet miss painey and you went to the wrong place?? I think we’re pretty upfront with where this bad boy is going to be held though. we should try to do something random soon. Why not, eh? Drinks are fun…

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  130. Book shop – hmmmm – Jesus H., I do the downtown used book circuit quite regularly – now I’m as curious as fuck. Come on, gimme a l’il hint!

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  131. No. I’m NOT Datiffi, but my pic HAS come up on the side of the screen, i’m pretty sure of that. Seriously, ask zed what my name is and I”m sure you’ll see me one day 🙂

    Unfortunately I don’t work downtown 🙁 I’m in the south end, I’m afraid. I go THROUGH scotia square to get to work….if that helps? lol

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  133. I couldn’t find the shop cause I was looking in the wrong place. I’m good now.
    I’m up for drinks!!! Oh wait…I can’t drink. Never mind…I don’t think you all will be entertaining enough sober…JK…If there’s food I’ll be there.

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  134. You’re so right Ralmn, I really have to try to stop doing that^^^. Yes TTFN, every Saturday you will find me on B-St. in this rag’s favorite 2nd hand bookstore – from opening till closing. And time for another shameless plug from a shameless plug *narf* – we are currently having a major sale. Buy 10, get half off. Plus daily specials at the boss’ whim. All bitcher’s invited to say hello – just one thing – PLEASE – NOT IN THE FACE!

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  136. I go to Scotia Square a couple of times a week to pick up a BLT wrap or falafel – often pass by the circle of chairs near the liquor store and wonder about the shifty-eyed people sitting there pretending to read the Coast.

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  138. Holy lord fuck a duck Ivan – I worked within a block of that place for over 20 years – bahawhawhawhaw – betcha you’d recognize me if I walked in there – music and art section’s my cruising ground with the odd fucking mumbly curse at the closed N.S. history door.

    The gal in the pic is my younger sister. Mom always called her the pretty one.

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  139. LOL TT. I’ll keep my peepers skinned in the future. Just ask and we’ll let you in. The boss got tired of customers carpeting the floor in there with books (we’re the only ones allowed to do that) Worst of it was – they’d use rare firsts – never the old Lancelots. Philistines. Grrrrrrr.

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  140. …and here I thought you guys just had a 9:59 a.m. book toss every morning. To create literary pilons, natch.

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  141. One might find me sitting at one of this Scotia Square establishments’ tables after having a “second cup” of coffee……. usually around noon. Perhaps I might be having a conversation with its “fab”ulous owner…. perhaps I am reading the coast, talking with others or simply staring at people as they walk by……..

    perhaps……

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  145. I’m the fat chick who eats lunch at her desk everyday alone 🙁
    But I’d like to start eating out every now and then. Anyone up for the New Midtown for lunch sometime 🙂

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  149. It’s at boomers. They rented out the kitchen when the old one closed – so yah it’s closer to you than me. I just use to go for their lunch specials with my dad all the time and I haven’t gone in years.
    I’m not really hurting for a lunch date…I was just being an asshole. But I’d still love to go sometime!

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