I remember my first post here about you, and the few that followed tracked how much closer we were getting. Now, I care so much about you that I have to let you go, because we can’t be together. Tomorrow, I’m going to do the hardest thing I’ve had to do and tell you that I don’t care about you any more. Then, I hope that you will be able to hate me and move on, instead of loving me and being unable to move on.
And that will be the first, and last, time that I ever lie to you. —Thanks for all the great times
This article appears in Jan 6-12, 2011.
What the f*ck?!?!?!?! A little more background here perhaps….. what a morally/emotionally twisted love!
I’m thinking that maybe he’s cheating on his wife and this msg is for his mistress. He’s been spreading himself too thin between the 2 and since he’ll lose his house, kids and RRSP’s leaving his wife, he chose to cut off the mistress. He says he has to lie to her so that he can feel better about his indiscretions and make himself feel like the ‘good guy” even though he’s being lying to his wife and kids all along.
hmm.. now, see, I didn’t get the mistress thing. Just a relationship that isn’t working for whatever reason. I was going to say, if you do care so much, then nothing is insurmountable.
But if you’re already committed to someone else and that’s what makes it impossible, then I would change my advice.
This love shit is complicates, it seems. http://xkcd.com/601/
ok, let me take a crack at it…
I’m thinking that maybe she’s cheating on her husband and this msg is for her mistERess (? not sure of the male equivalent). She’s been spreading herself too thin between the 2 and since she’ll lose her house, kids and RRSP’s leaving her husband, she chose to cut off the other guy. She says she has to lie to him so that she can feel better about her indiscretions and make herself feel like the ‘good girl” even though she’s being lying to her husband and kids all along.
or (s)he could just be moving… for a job or something.
I sense a distinctly female tone as well….
You’re right Z…could be a chick for sure. Why can’t they be together???? Please OP…the suspense is killing me. Is it an affair or job…or maybe you are from different religions and your families will never understand. The possibilities are endless.
PS…don’t cut and paste my shit again Z! frigger. lol
for the record, I think it’s a dude too… there’s just no concrete evidence to support it.
I never thought about the religious belief excuse..
which is just that.
and watch that language RC, the little one is listening…. }:-p
Interesting insights. In which cases I really don’t care anymore.
Hi, OP here. I’m a girl… and for various reasons it won’t work out. It’s just that in a few months there’s a big possibility that we both may be moving. I don’t want him to start caring more and then feel guilty about moving and choose not to so he can stay with me, because I want him to do what he feels is right for him.
And no, I’m not married, I don’t have kids, or a house, or an RRSP. I just want him to be happy.
Well… that certainly sheds a different light on the situation. But is letting go really the best option? Or even lying in order to make things “easier”? Who will it make things easier for? Years down the road you’ll still be wondering what could have happened. Believe me, I have a couple of “could have been” relationships in my past and sometimes it’s hard to ignore the fact that you very well could have been extremely happy with someone.
I dunno, at the very least I’d be straight up and come clean with these sentiments. Deep down you know how you really feel and while words may come easy, it’s the feelings that will remain deeply planted and never go away without true closure. And hey, if you care about him that much…. he deserves to know the truth…… Happiness is relative my dear.
Thanks jonnoman, but I neglected to mention that it’s a little more complicated than that… there are other issues with other former relationships, too. I think it will be easier for him before he gets too involved with me, and if it is meant to be, maybe we’ll get together in the future. I wish that I could come clean but it is very hard, because I also think that I care more than he does, and I wouldn’t want him to feel badly about that, either. I’ve just been keeping my distance, but haven’t had the opportunity yet to end it – which will likely happen tomorrow.
Bah….. love is so friggin complicated. That’s why I no longer have the ability to do so….. haha. Either way, OP, we all have our reasons for making the decisions we do…. I only hope that things go well for you today and that, over time, you become happy and at total peace with the decision you make 🙂
And if you get lonely at any point down the road, search through LIFE SUCKS’ comments for his email address….. he is in the “shoulder to cry on” business.
he would use your tears as lubricant…
keep a distance from that nutjob.
Extremely bad advice on the email address Jonno….just when I think your sympathetic and caring you ruin it for me.
As for the love’s complicated part….we’re complicated people…love is kind of easy. But we spend so much time thinking about what else is out there – or what if I had of made a different choice – or worrying that your partner is thinking those things. Our crazy minds complicate things. Monogamy is not natural for humans…..that’s why love is hard.
Some people are lucky enough to get to a place in their lives where they are truly happy with who they are and where they are in their lives that they are able to fall in love with someone and it’s easy. OP….you still have a lot of “finding yourself & living” to do….we all do. I think your making a smart decision for both of your futures…but of course it will hurt….always does when your heart’s involved. Good luck!!
Hahaha Chickie…. I hope you don’t sincerely think that I believe my referral would be therapeutic for the OP…… I was merely making light of the fact that these kind of posts are always followed up by some kind of an invitation to meet up with the ol’ Suckster. I figured I’d save him some time and do it for him….
Anyway, I really do empathize with the OP and sincerely hope that only good comes out of her decision, whatever it turns out to be. You really touched on the root of all evils when making that comment about monogamy….. It’s hard to live with two things that absolutely contradict each other on an every day basis….. the desire to be with someone and the mind’s ability to develop deep feelings of trust and love toward someone. Only thing is, while the mind thinks it knows what it wants it clearly doesn’t. Don’t know if anyone has ever read The Symposium, or more precisely Socrates’ discourse on Love but I wrote a paper on this particular discussion in university. It’s quite interesting, as is the entire text. Ivan- I am quite certain you would have read this…….. either way, I recommend it! It puts love into perspective…… if that can really be done.
OP here, thanks, I’m pretty familiar with all of your posts so I knew the reference to LIFE SUCKS was tongue in cheek, so to speak.
Also, thanks to jonnoman and REAL CHICK for your support – it means a lot, since I haven’t been able to talk about this with any of my friends or family. I completely agree with you about the searching, and the difficulty with commitment. I definitely have a lot of “finding myself” to do. I also have this slight, nagging feeling that we wouldn’t be able to make it together, but it’s really, really difficult to let go. Every time I intend to, I see him again and all my resolutions fly out the window. Today won’t be easy but hopefully I’ll do what’s right for both of us and not look back with any regrets.
Yeah….. it’s strange.. this community actually feels in one sense like a small, close-knit village. I think Ivan would be the mayor…… there would be no police force but the ol’ Lifer would be involved with justice somehow….. zZz and I would run the village’s IT infrastructure….. haha… angel would be the village’s hot, fun librarian………. We’d have weekly town meetings (all online and anonymously, of course, haha) and anyone could ask anyone for a drink or a coffee at any given time and they’d enjoy each others’ company….. I truly believe I would trust some people who post in the bitch/love forums with my life if it came down to it.
That said, OP, I am glad you feel welcome and I am glad we can be there (anonymously) to hear what you have to say. This may seem strange, but in the event that you feel like talking/venting in a little less public environment, you can email me at jgc1977@gmail.com. Sometimes (and I know this just as well as anyone) you don’t want to trouble your everyday friends with this kind of crap. I work with some of my friends; see them on an every day basis, but at the same time don’t really want to bring my problems into the friendship. I know that’s partly what friends are for, but I prefer to keep those friendships about having a good time and talking about every day life.
Anyway, now that I have made myself into a creep, I shall conclude this post.
……..seriously…..did you really just drop the whole email….if you need to talk comment.
If you weren’t such a nice guy I would be poking fun a lot worse.
Sorry OP but this needs to now be hijacked to discuss Jonno….this is why you don’t seem to believe there are “nice girls” out there and your faith in love is gone. Because this girl is having an issue with a current BF…who she does not believe it will really work out anyway…as well there are other issues. Although I’m sure OP is a very nice young lady I believe she is not right for you….yes you could start off as friends but 2 single people as friends usually turns into feelings for one….yadda yadda yadda…your hearts broken and your blaming her for leading you on….blah blah. She even mentioned issues with ex’s. She already has her hands full and you would complicate things.
Woah…. slow down a sec RC… it would not be the first time a friend was made within these hallowed forums by posting a personal email address. I guess my prolonged absence in posting over the past few months has caused a few things to be forgotten in here….. I appreciate your concern and, OP, if for ANY reason (which for now seems to be my inappropriate behavior) you deem it not in your best interest to email me……. I hold no ill feelings! I am just being friendly. Perhaps a little too friendly.
RC- I know there are “nice girls” out there…. I know quite a few of them. My feelings toward love stems from years and years of going through the same thing and at this phase in my life I am simply not interested. There are circumstances in my life that would complicate any relationship I try to get into now anyway……. And besides, how is this any different from me responding to someone’s request for friendship within the Coast dating site or anywhere similar. I know you hold everyone’s best interests in mind, but I’ll have you know that had I not reached out and met up with people in the past through The Coast, I’d be without a couple of really cool, undeniable friends today.
Anyway, now that I feel like an ass, I suppose there is nothing to do but hit the “Preview Comment” button and then “Submit”…….. or should I say, surrender. For some strange reason it’s almost like you have it out for me!
hey, I’ve met cool people I NEVER would have come across from dropping the e-mail….
don’t knock it.
Thanks triple-zed…… I really didn’t think that would get the response that it did……
I apologize. I don’t have it out for you Jonno. I’ve also met “nice” (I use the term loosely…lol) people on the LTWWB/L as well. I totally understand where you’re coming from. I take back my original post. You are a nice guy and I think I was being a little over protective of you…not the OP. She has her hands full…and I don’t want to read her post about you in a couple months. Just being pessimistic I guess. Sorry
I understand completely RC…. I guess I got a little defensive when I realized you thought I was trying to pick up someone amidst their vulnerability. Ah well… I guess I hold my own integrity in high regard. And the invitation for venting was with the intention of keeping things anonymous. (perhaps naively….)
At any rate, I am giving you a big hug right now… oh and a dozen flowers of your choice to show you I still care after our first fight…. HAHAHA. Oh my, what a day…..
So, how about them Habs?
how bout them leafs=let’s hear it for the boy(s)=ear worm
tears for lubricant?!
funny = )
I’m on your side Painey…go leafs go.
Sorry about the misunderstanding Jonno….Thanks for the flowers…they’re beautiful!! lol
i have no sides rc…i reside in a vortex goleafyhabsgo
you mean, go flaming, leafy, habnuck senators….
no i can’t even feckin skate. i like this kinda hockey http://blog.getitnext.com/photos/uncategor…
I’m with Painey.
These are the Hanson Brothers:
http://www.mainetoday.com/blogs/mrd/http:/…
Not these little sissy-marys:
http://www.angelundressesla.com/wp-content…
I prefer this hockey
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutant_League…
Mutant League Hockey does sound quite interesting. Slap an X-Men licence on that and make it sure it actually plays well and I’d buy it.
This season’s 1st round draft pick – The Human Centipede. >; )
Goddammit, Sean Connery! >.< 😛
I know Brendon. Usually knowledge is a good thing, but I was reading about that yesterday and my world felt diminished for learning something that cannot unlearnt. >: (
I can’t wait for the 2nd and third one’s….
6 and 12 people respectively is going to be nucking futz
Hi guys, OP here – thanks again for your support – yesterday was not the greatest day but I thought about what you said and finally did it. Today isn’t the greatest day either but your comments afterwards even made me laugh, so thanks for that too.
NP OP. Sorry for your bad day, and not feeling so hot today either. Time will make everything better. Or just contact Jonno for a nice shoulder to cry on….lol. Or if you just feel like getting it on with a random stranger please contact the suckster.
I’ve always been a Leafs fan…but I don’t really follow hockey…just like rooting for the under-dogs.
Z – how was Saget last night???
t’was all good fun!
he’s a dirty, dirty man…
though actually a bit more tame last night.
Until he got into the bit about phil, his son in the audience wanting to fuck a starfish….
it digressed from there.
🙂 there was even a singalong at the end!
Nice. I’m glad I missed it but the BF is deeply saddened. Gerry Dee better be good. If he comes back this way (Saget) make sure to email me so I can get tickets…for my brother to take the BF.
but of course.
and turns out I won’t be going to Dee…
🙁
he’s here the same time I’m sipping rum-infused drinks in Dominican.
c’est la vie.
the tix weren’t exactly hard to get rid of either.
I would trade a beach for Mr Dee any day. I plan to spend the weeks before your trip bitching and complaining about how much I hate trips down south…and people who take them, to get you back for bahumbugin my Xmas. 🙂
don’t drink the water or use ice cubes zZz. drink your booze straight up http://www.stogieguys.com/wp-content/uploa…
ummm… that water and ice cubes just get in the way anyways…
though I will be getting vaccinated.
RC, I’ll be thinking about you as I swim up to the bar for that breakfast margarita.
😉
i remember the further south we went, the booze became exponentially cheaper, mix and water went up
I’m with you RC. It’s a bit too early for hurricane season but we can always hope for a coup d’etat.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_z2d4IxltHJI/Scjf…
sounds good to me…. 🙂
I’m bringing a camera for the memories because I likely won’t have too many.
🙂
and can you say Duty Free ???
woot!
I’m saving my next vacation for Hawaii again. Then taking the kids to Disney when the bun is 3.
I’ve had my share of all inclusive….and they never get old. I’m really jealous….I would love to get away….hopefully I win the lottery tonight so I can take my whole family away..I don’t like travelling without the little man.
Say Hi to Dog for me.
Seems he’s too much of a pussy to make it here…
are you talking about this dawg? http://www.ticketatlantic.com/en/home/othe…