So i go to my doctors apt today and in the waiting room was me, my son and my daughter, then two other ladies each with their daughters.
The kids are playing when one of the little girls who i think was Autistic began, shaking her fists, her head and babbled on a bit.
my son paid no attention and continued playing with blocks Then the other girl looked at her mom and said “Mom whats wrong with her? why is she doing that?” The mom pulled her aside and said ” shes sick, dont stare”
I just about choked on my water..
Then my son speaks up and comes to me and says “mom whats wrong with her”
I bent down and said “absolutly nothing, There is Nothing wrong with her.”
he just stared at me for a second and i knew he knew something was different.
So i said “Remember how i told you that everyone is different? Some people have different color skin or hair, or are tall or short, some cant talk and some can.some people are in wheelchairs and some cant see? This little girl is Just different from you but thats ok, Different is great and there is absolutly NOTHING wrong with her”
and with that he turned around, walked over and passed her a block, then sat down and continued to play…
I went back to reading a book to my daughter and then the nurse called my name. As i walk by i give that little girls mother a smile.
Hiding the fact that people are different or giving your kids the impression that different shouldnt be talked about so just not look is wrong in my opinion.
why hide or feel like that child or that mother does not deserve the respect of you explaining things to your child and having your child understand and not judge another child.
When you hide away, or tell them just to not look. they dont understand. All they hear is “dont pay attention to them”. Is that really what you want your child to do in school? not pay attention to someone who is different then them? Why should they be an outcast because they’re different.. they are sill human.
This article appears in Aug 14-20, 2008.
Bravo!! You are an example of mother hood! And yes Kudos to the child that could’ve been austic, the most disabling thing in this picture was the mother who said her child was sick! Bravo! wtg mom, son, and the little girl!! my hat’s off to ya!
This isn’t a bitch – you just wanted to give yourself a giant pat on the back, IMO.
I agree, Jennie.
It’s a well deserved pat on the back.If just one person learns to deal with a difficult situation a little better, we’d have a lot LESS bitching about other people’s kids and their behaviour problems. Good for you for teaching your child a valuable lesson and a tolerance to difference. My hat’s off to you also.
This bitch was not to get a “pat on the back” it was to bitch about the idiots who do not teach their children about life. People are different and if you dont accept it and explain it to your child then they will in turn disrespect those people.
Now that is 1 refreshing response to a situation like that. If more people on this planet learned how to deal with differences of all types, race, religion, color, creed, ability, disability, status, income, this world would be a much better place to live. It certainly is much better than some of the way some folks react to that sort of situation. Well done LaLaLa, and Jennie, is that all you have to contribute to this bitch. You must have put a lot of thought into that, IMO.
While I think LaLaLa handled the situation differently (and probably better) than the other mother, I don’t think you can fault the first mom for what she said to her kid. She still took the time to teach her kid that it is not polite to stare, and she answered the “what’s wrong with her?” question by saying the little girl was sick, which, if the girl was autistic, she kind of was sick. I think the first mom’s response was fair and does not contribute to the degeneration of our society by promoting intolerance or hiding from differences. Perhaps that first mom will take the time to explain things to their kid when they get home. Maybe that first mom wanted to respect the autistic kid’s and her mom’s privacy by not talking about it in the waiting room.
What about confirming the child’s natural sensory observation that there’s something wrong/different with the other child? Say that child grows up and has children of their own. How would they recognize a need for medical intervention if everything “different” is “just fine”? It’s not!Agreed, teach your children to be tolerant of others, not to stare rudely and to have empathy/sympathy but not because they can’t or shouldn’t recognize the difference between normal and abnormal human behavior.They’re just babies but learning how to tell the truth comes at a very early age and it starts with the parents. Stop patting yourself on the back, OP, and learn how to tell your children truthful and factual information in addition to teaching them the coping skills required for us all to get along.
Sorry Kay, that is perhaps the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Any child with a parent smart enough to teach them not to pass judgement on someone for being different then the norm, will be smart enough to recognize a possible condition in their own child. OP did tell their child there is nothing wrong with them, but they are different. Then gave their child terms that they could deal with it with. I.E., Different as in eye or hair color. Great parenting lalala, we need more parents like you to help create a tolerant world where children understand the difference between “different” and “wrong”.
Teaching children truth… you call it ridiculous, I call it instilling integrity in preparation for a “no surprises” future. What’s everybody so afraid of?Tell me what’s “not wrong” about Parkinson’s disease? What’s “not wrong” about autism? Bearers of such afflictions are, indeed, human beings deserving respect as such, but to teach your children THAT is a vision of a normal, healthy human being is an outright LIE. The truth is you can’t catch it so go ahead and play with them.Parents can balance truth with compassion. Just tell it like it is.If we didn’t have the sense to chose healthy playmates, partners, etc. we’d all be fucking birds cause they’re so dam beautiful. We learn this stuff as very small children. Tell the truth.
Wow, stay away from my kids.
oh wow… i hope you dont have children Kay
Actually, I have a very well balanced teenager. He’s polite, clean, healthy, smart, works hard, is not a racist… he’s also well educated in controversial things like, let see…. natural selection, drug addiction, teen pregnancy, wheelchair access, etc.. Pretty bad, huh? He gets along in all crowds (young, old, sick, rich, not…) and is never surprised to see someone down on their luck, sick, disabled, etc. He’s awfully helpful and thoughtful too. He laughs easy, is kind, warm and funny. Hmmm And did I mention good looking? hahaWhat was your point, exactly? I just never lied to my kids. I gave them the whole story and not in bits and pieces. Kids love me for that! hehe
Well, since most of the posts have a whiff of political correctness, I’d probably side with Kay on this one. I don’t think that she was saying you should be telling your kid to avoid autistic freaks at all cost. And I don’t think that the Mom in the OP’s doctor’s visit was saying that either. Maybe the Mom was reticent to discuss the issue in front of the entire waiting room, and planned to discuss the issue with her kid later. By saying “she’s sick”, she was explaining things in shorthand so that a young child might understand. Autism IS an affliction; it IS NOT the behaviour of a normal healthy individual. I have a family member with the disorder, and I totally agree that they shouldn’t be treated like they’re freaks. But if your kid asks “what’s wrong with them”, why would you say “nothing”? Illnesses such as these stem from an organic malfunction, and therefore, could be described as a type of illness. There is so much that we don’t understand about the workings of the human mind; how could you possibly condense all of that into something that an inquisitive child could understand? I’m sorry, but to tell her kid that the little one “was sick” doesn’t make her a total asshole, just unsure of how to explain it (when doctors and scientists can’t even explain it).
Damn skippy, you skip the gory details but you let them know the truth. The kid is different because of a defect. But you can’t say that to a kid right then and there because tehy would then say that the kid was ‘defective’. Since language is still developing you have to talk in tearms that would be understood and then extrapolate on that.Kay, you are right, why shelter the kid to be ignorant to reality. That’s like making them believe in santa clause or the easter bunny and then crushing their perceptions when they are older.
This post was looking pretty good until I read “As i walk by i give that little girls mother a smile.” I think that should properly read “As i walk by i give that little girls mother a self-satisfied smirk.”The OP’s explanation of the condition was perfectly nice, if a little unrealistic. Her smug little dis of the other mother was childish.I also have to agree with Kay that explaining the condition in less PC but still compassionate terms is probably better.