I am so sick and tired of having to engage in and witness the fake hug. It’s ridiculous.
Hey person I just met at a party last weekend: Don’t fake hug me when we run into each other on the street. I know you’re trying to look cool with your buddies by making it appear as though I’m your friend and you want to make it look like you have so many friends, but don’t fuckin’ do it. Don’t fuckin’ give me that wimpy, awkward hug as a greeting. It’s disgusting. Hugs are reserved for people I actually care about. I’m not your friend. I don’t even know your last name (and I don’t even think I know your first name), and I’m pretty sure I’ve only spoken 3 words to you: “Nice Slayer shirt.”
A simple handshake, bow, or curtsy should suffice. Indeed, bowing and curtsying are long overdue for a return to civilized society.
Don’t fake hug me, hugtard. Don’t do it.
Jackass.
This article appears in Apr 3-9, 2008.
Man, it would be nice if someone could design a personal space alarm that would trigger off an air horn.
Were it not for your inclusion of the word “hugtard”, I would have thought you were a sad, lonely little, person. There may be hope for you yet. Affection can be fun!Just be sure to watch out for the courtesy handjobs. I hate those.
Were it not for your inclusion of the word “hugtard”, I would have thought you were a sad, lonely little, person. There may be hope for you yet. Affection can be fun!Just be sure to watch out for those empty courtesy handjobs. I hate those.
i love those
haha! ‘hugtard’. that’s awesome!