Pick one!!

Dear Roommate-Boy;

grow up. seriously. would it hurt you to be nice to my bf when he’s over? We’re just starting out here, and you’re pretty much shoving him out the door, and lighting his ass on fire so he goes faster. I’m not saying become his bestest-friend and boy-bond and take over our apartment with testosterone overload. But passing him the OJ when he asks, not scowling when you run into him the hall, and not feeding your dog his shoes would be nice.

WHere the hell is this coming from? If this oh-so-manly agression is your way of saying you want to be the guy on my side of our shared bedroom wall, I have three letters for you: WTF??? you had your chance with me,a nd if I remember correctly, YOU turned ME down! and if this is your petty little way of saying you want to have your cake and eat it to? You don’t want me, but no one else can have me either so you can keep on playing house with me? well guess what you emotionally-stunted mental midget, you CAN’T. You can either have me (as a friend) or eat me. Pick one. and grow the fuck up!!!!!!!

This article appears in Mar 27 – Apr 2, 2008.