It’s a glorious Saturday morning in suburbia and I’ve already had 2 knocks at the door asking for money for school trips and soccer trips.
Do I look like your parents, am I a loan sharking organization, a bank perhaps?
School is supposed to provide an education not turn out a bunch of Artful Dodgers, is the principal Fagin? —Cheap Prick
This article appears in Sep 16-22, 2010.
Feeling any better Maude?
Were they actually selling yummy stuff or were they just begging for money?
I remember all the methheads in my area being thrilled when I sold sweets in junior high. Are you WORSE than a methhead? Hmm? HMM?
yeah, that’s exactly what you are o.p., they get money that way for trips and shit.
You actually get up to answer the door on Saturday morning?
Fool.
I always answer the door just in case it’s those nice young folks from the Church of Latter Gay Saints, or maybe it’s the Jehovahs Wankers, it’s always a delight to see their smiling young naive faces crumble when you tell them to FUCK OFF.
y’all have a nice day y’hear.
Mein Kampf…its better to try to introduce them to devil worship.
Or my new favorite ,the one true God ….THE Flying Spagetti Monster !
You gotta take your fun where you can get it !
but that’s like shootin poisson in a barrel…you need to be more inventive. “oooh look we have guests angus fire up the big cooking pot” arrest the pope…grrrrr
the girl guides never come anymore i less than three those maple cookies. perhaps the keebler elves be dead
Don’t answer the door and those little demons will go away.
And don’t forget the BIG MOOCH holiday is almost upon us HALLOWEEN – I despise that bastard, you’re not cute in that outfit, you’re a potential porker just like the 2 elephants aka parents that have the 84 pillow cases of yummies at the bottom of my driveway. I should rent a pit bull for the holiday and see the cellulite orcas run/waddle.
Raisins = Nature’s candy
Eggs = Nature’s hand grenades.
i give out treats i don’t want nowt in the way of tricks…cackle
aawww, common guys. Kids are great! Until they reach the age of 9. I give every kid on my street money who has a pledge form or whose selling bars or cookies or anything. I have a 3 year old who will be going on bottle drives and trying to raise money for sports some day in the future…I figure I support my neighbours kids they better support mine!
PS…I love Halloween too…all those little cuties with their faces painted.
PG: I miss the mint chocolate wafer GG cookies! They’re addictive and send me into sugar shock every time because you can’t just eat one or two….well maybe one or two BOXES at a sitting.
I think it’s likely better, for the sake of my ass/tummy/pancreas, that they don’t come around here trying to hawk those delicious little fuckers.
I remember selling chocolate bars in elementary. They promised prizes to the top sellers and it was the same people every year. They were good prizes too, like game boys and shit. And of COURSE the same girl won every year because her parents would take a bazillion boxes and take them to work with them and sell them there. The kid actually didn’t sell anything.
And the rest of us just cried because WE wanted game boys too, but oh no, we never had a shot.
And once the ol’ diabetes monster struck my mom wrote them a note saying no chocolate bars for PK to sell and made a cash donation instead. It was hard enough adjusting and the temptation of huge chocolate bars wasn’t something my mom wanted to put us through. So she wrote them a cheque. Ironically, though, that year the teacher i had was really mean to me about it and yelled at me how I wouldn’t be able to participate in the class pizza party if our class won and how I was expected to make a cash donation anyway (which was credited to our class total! — and my mom donated in cash what it would’ve cost for two bags, so I sold my two bags, technically! and they didn’t have to pay for the bars so they actually got more money out of me) AND, that was the year I didn’t participate in any extra activities which the monies were used for!
FUCK I hate school fundraising. I’ll donate, sure — I don’t hate on the kids trying to fundraise, I just hate on the pressure tactics schools put on these kids to fundraise in the first place.
this is why I love living in an apartment :D! I loved Halloween when I was younger (actually, I still trick-or-treated until I was in grade 9 ;D) but I’m older now and don’t feel like giving out candy and such either. I had all my lights off last year and still people came and BANGED and KICKED on my door. I heard one kid scream “There’s a car in the driveway, they’re home!” as they kept pounding the door.
Oh PK…I’m sorry you had to go through that. My mom used to have to cut a check every year cause I’d eat all my bars too. $90 bucks worth of chocolate. And my brother was the kid who won prizes every year…lol. (My dad used to drop him off at a NSLC for hours! )
If it makes you feel better… I’ll buy you pizza anytime! 🙂
Public school fundraising is gay. Schools are trying to do way to much for students. Stick to delivering the 3 R’s and get rid of the outdated bricks and mortar model. There should be a dozen teachers as support for videotaped classes online for all of NS. Fundraising so that little Johhny or Sally can attend Ice Capades or get new footbal unis is just an accepted form of begging.
“we’ll have a gay old time” thanks bugs
oh yes, and teach the babies that when they need something they should expect it will be handed to them by their parents. *insert major eye-roll* Getting turned down on a cold sell at the door or actually having to work HARD for your money is just one of many hard lessons the wee ones ought to have under their belts BEFORE venturing off into adulthood.
PK, just for you.
http://www.motifake.com/bunny-cat-silly-ca…
** *insert major eye-roll* **
The fact that you write stuff like that indicates how idiotic you actually are. Keep up the good work though. Bullies like us need a good laugh every now and again but pushing old ladies over in the street just ain’t cutting it no more.
Aw thanks, RC 🙂
AHAHAHAHA I LOVE BUNNY CAT.
Hey Fat, admitting it is the first step. If I were “lucky” enough to have you live in my town I’d give you a big fat pat on the back simply for lifting your head.
Well at least his head isn’t up his ass like yours is, Kay.
Gotta give him some cred for that.