This article appears in Dec 6-12, 2007.
not loving how you bitch
To whoever wrote last weeks bitch decrying the possibility of putting positive stories in the weekly column: look, if you’re so cynical and jaded to the world that all you want to read about is stories of people ripping each other off and how much every
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Here’s a suggestion – stop reading this column.If you think most of us want to read:’Today a kind stranger opened the door for me’, you’re sadly mistaken. Bitching is healthy part of life. Think of all the stress this column uncorks. ‘Positive-feel-good-warm-heartsy-oh-thank-you-for-letting-me-into-traffic’ stories belong to the Mary Poppins School of Thought.
Perhaps you could try DOING something nice for someone instead of reading about others doing it? You might even get more enjoyment out of it??? If you are naive enough to believe that “bitch” is a true and accurate representation of all things HRM then I suggest you are “cynical and jaded”.It’s kind of ironic that you have chosen to use the “bitch” column as your voice for your “anti-bitch” sentiments. For all the “positivity” you espouse it is certainly lost in the “buy yourself a gun” comment.Welcome to the club; you’re off to a great start!!!
Perhaps you could try DOING something nice for someone instead of reading about others doing it? You might even get more enjoyment out of it??? If you are naive enough to believe that “bitch” is a true and accurate representation of all things HRM then I suggest you are “cynical and jaded”.It’s kind of ironic that you have chosen to use the “bitch” column as your voice for your “anti-bitch” sentiments. For all the “positivity” you espouse it is certainly lost in the “buy yourself a gun” comment.Welcome to the club; you’re off to a great start!!!
Hahahahahaha!!! Thanks, Rauol, you made my morning.
I just noticed that the ‘Gag Me With a Fork’ bitch has been responded to in the letter section – I almost laughed up a lung reading it.O.K., Coast, so put in a ‘Love The Way We Love’ column as suggested and let’s just see how long it lasts. A week, maybe two? I’m sure the readers would get pretty tired of stories about rescued puppies and helping old ladies across the street – oooooo – such riveting reading that would be. Jeeze, maybe I could finally find a cure for my insomnia.Yes, I am one cynical cookie but I’m also aware, as Raoul pointed out, that DOING good deeds sure as hell means more than posting about them. So, Little Miss Merry Sunshine, try to brighten up our bleak world and see where it gets you. La-dee-la-la, excuse me while I skip through the spotless, perfect streets of Downtown Halifax.
Ah the tea sippers are at it again. If you want feel-good fluffy stories and comments babe go elsewhere, you’ve got a million choices. This is just about the only one we’ve got and your “Mary Poppins” outlook on life just doesn’t fit in here. Suck it up or move on.
I for one just wnat to say that if I don’t feel Like hearing possibly negative comments, I refrain from reading this column.otherwise I enjoy the witty sarcasm that usually follows alot of the bitch’s. I try to listen with an open mind and understand that most times this is going to be the only way these slights will ever be heard and this allowing the person to feel somewhat vindicated, and I think that can be a really positive thing. Rauol – I am still chuckling over the pickles comment, and for me to be able to laugh while I work just helps me get through my days better, also a positive thing…
sorry R-A-O-U-L, spelling not my forte…
Jeanne, you’ve got the right attitude. You actually ‘get’ it, along with Raoul et al. If a person wants Chicken Soup for the Soul, they should stay away from this column.I’m still laughing over that ‘Love The Way We Love’. Sounds like something the Mormons (aka Morons) would come up with.
Maybe an “Up With People” inspired musical sing-a-long for all the lovers out there. The theme song, obviously, would be “Love The Way We Love”. Maybe we could have a contest to see who can hold open the most doors or loan the most cups of sugar?I bet it wouldn’t take long for people to disagree over who loves more than another. Praise the light we already have a venue for them to voice their displeasure. The thing about selfless acts is that they’re SELFLESS. People aren’t looking for a pat on the back they are just looking to be a good neighbour. When I hold a door for someone a simple thanks is enough. I don’t need or want an article written about it.Jeanne if I have an opportunity to make you blow chunks of apple sauce all over the place that makes me feel good 🙂 I agree, having a place to vent is a valid consideration. Karma isn’t complicated, Happy Easter Bitchers!
“It’s kind of ironic that you have chosen to use the “bitch” column as your voice for your “anti-bitch” sentiments” – yes, very subtle, glad you pointed that out.”Here’s a suggestion – stop reading this column.”I generally don’t bother reading LTWWB, but the bitterness it generates gets passed around to everyone, and I have to deal with you people when you’re stewing over your own hate-on for humanity.and you know what, I feel sorry for you people. I don’t know what it is about your lives that makes you so bitter and resentful towards others that manage to be cheerful. It’s kinda like those emo kids in high school that spend every day wallowing in self-pity and hoping their own histrionics will draw attention to them. if you hate the world, and wanna publicize everything that’s bad about it then seriously, leave. you’re dragging everyone else down.
Brendan, I think you are missing the point of this, but at the same time I think you grasp it without realizing it. This is an outlet for people, to let them vent their frustrations and anxieties in a forum where people will understand, and offer positive and negative feedback. Some people (like yourself I am going to assume), have no place to vent outside of here … why hold it against them? Obviously you are in no position to judge, or your bitch and comments would not be here now. Don’t be such a hypocrate.And I have to wonder … what do you do for a living that makes you feel this column of the Coast generates bitterness that you have to deal with? Do people come up to you throughout your 8 hour workday saying “Wow … I just read LTWWB and I am so angry now!!” I doubt it.Lastly … don’t feel sorry for anyone. Most people live healthy, productive lives, and your pity is wasted on them. Really you should save it for yourself, as you are the one who seems most disturbed by this column.
OHMYGAWD!!!!! CALL THE AUTHORITIES!!! THIS COLUMN IS GENERATING A ‘HATE-ON FOR HUMANITY!!! Get real, Brendan, you are taking this column waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy too fucking seriously.Now excuse me while I go drown some baby kittens.
>”Do people come up to you throughout your 8 hour workday saying “Wow … I just read LTWWB and I am so angry now!!” “no, but people read LTWWB, they get mad at some nameless faceless nobody, and over the course of the day, yes I think it makes them slightly more irritable. Does it change their whole perspective on life, no of course not, but what does this column accomplish ? you say it helps people vent; but nobody ever knows who is venting, and who the tirade is being directed at. Is this gonna change people’s behaviour? no, it’s just gonna make everyone else feel pissed off and less trusting.I’m not really advocating suicide, but if you’ve chosen NOT to cap yourself off then it must be because there’s good stuff going on in the world. You people are just so cynical and bitter that you don’t even want to read about something good because it would make you realize how absurd your self-imposed depression is.I, however, feel good about life, and I think you know that there’s a part of you that resents that.
Not to get caught up in a war of opinions, but Brendan- I do consider my self to a pretty positive person however it feels good to know that when I am pissed off or feeling a little negative- I am not alone.Sometimes through the course of a week I come across something that makes me think “that is just not right”. And It makes me feel better when someone else agrees with me. Or I can be going through this column and learn things such as that whole bullying thing with Capitol Health. I asked for direction after reading a post- someone gave me the article link- I read it and I was outraged for what I read- I became more aware and wanted to pass it along that awareness to all I know so that something positive could come from someones negative experience.There is a HUGE percentage of us that want to connect with people through sharing experiences, debating and personal growth. We have groups all over North America that get together and express not so positive experiences so that we can learn and feel CONNECTED. I think this is just another expression of this same type of thing.Regardless if this column is out there, there will always be negative, cranky people. We can’t control that. We can only try to balance the negatives with the positives. Which I think is the point you might be trying to make- and I think is valid. However I just don’t agree with you about this column.
“We can only try to balance the negatives with the positives. Which I think is the point you might be trying to make”pretty much, yes.if everyone in Halifax were jerks I’d have no problem with LTWWB because it would be presenting the truth.But it’s not the truth; Halifax is one of the friendliest places in one of the friendliest countries on earth, that’s why I live here despite the slow economy and inept government.Even if the stories in LTWWB are true they present a distorted picture of how people behave towards one another -And how do we know people aren’t just completely making up these negative stories they put in here? If my above posts are a bit combative, it’s only because I don’t want to be pidgeon-holed as a flaky “kittens-and-rainbows” type. Maybe a little good does come out of posts like the capitol health one; but what about the “deal with it” post where that guy just rubbed it in other people’s faces that they’ll never be able to afford to go to school. That post accomplished nothing except stirring up bitterness and hostility. If LTWWB would put specific names in the column (accuser and accused) then there’d more likely be results coming out of it. Right now it just makes people angry over stuff that probably didn’t even happen.
Yep, That Post may have ticked me off, initially. But after reading that whole thing I was left with the realization that it can be really difficult for our next generation of people who will be joining the work force, it made me feel compassion for my niece and nefew who will be forced to face these tuition dilemmas in a couple of years. And honestly made me think about who I want working in MY government. Essentially Brendan, it made me think… Yes, I think the initial post was a Tool!, and I think I stated that, but once I got over that. It also made me feel kind of good about myself. I think I can see things with an open mind more so than this person and I am glad.and I don’t need to their name to have my opinions or feelings, infact if I knew that my name was going to be out there I might be alot more reserved with my statements, as that I deal with the public in my line of work. But this article allows me to freely express with out repercussions to my job.
Brendan wrote: “Halifax is one of the friendliest places in one of the friendliest countries on earth, that’s why I live here despite the slow economy and inept government.” You really need to get out more often. Last week some guy wash shot in the face in a public mall in front of tons of witnesses. Some lady had her TV ripped off from her locked car within 10 minutes. Yes the theives were watching the parking lot for their next victim as they ALWAYS do. There are gang wars here and people being mugged for no apparent reason. This is NOT the city it once was and somehow you’ve got to come to grips with that fact. Remove the rose coloured glasses yesterday is the only advise I can offer you.
bj, you brought up some valid points. I’ve lived here for over 50 years and I can reaffirm that this city is no longer the place it was. This column can open our eyes to different issues – like a few weeks back when someone posted about the mistreatment of a housekeeper in our hospital system – we need to have such crap brought out in the open and discussed. Venting about substandard minimum wage jobs helps flag the businesses that perhaps we should not be patronizing due to filth, lousy bosses, whatever. Warning us not to leave big purchase items in our car can remind some of us to think about such actions. There is more value to this column than just plain bitching.
Ellbee: How do we know that there wasn’t another incident recently when someone was about to have their tv stolen, but a good samaritan called the cops and had the crooks busted. putting THAT story in the paper would not only teach people not to leave their stuff in the car, but also about the value of taking initiative to do something when seeing something suspicious. It would also bring about a sense of connection and community that would foster good-will between the law abiding citizens here; LTWWB does none of this.to B.J.: crime happens in every city. besides that, if you don’t think Haligonians are friendly, and if your experiences with strangers have been so overwhelmingly negative then maybe that says something more about you than it does about them.
I’ve had it on this topic. Let’s just agree to disagree.Oh, by the way, when I think about Good Samaritans, I’ll always reflect back to that poor middle-aged woman in Sackville who passed out on the street AND NOT ONE GODDAMN PERSON STOPPED TO HELP HER.
Brendan- I get your point- but you are not trying to get ours. I started this conversation thinking you were trying to seek more positive communications, but it would seem that you are closed off to possiblities, and when presented with conflict or negativity you are a “glass 1/2 empty” type. So not much point trying to enlighten… Oh well, you gotto have have black to illuminate white.Hope someday you can see the possiblities
Brendan- I get your point- but you are not trying to get ours. I started this conversation thinking you were trying to seek more positive communications, but it would seem that you are closed off to possiblities, and when presented with conflict or negativity you are a “glass 1/2 empty” type. So not much point trying to enlighten… Oh well, you gotto have have black to illuminate white.Hope someday you can see the possiblities
Jeanne:I give back what I get. on the streets of Halifax I get friendly smiles and I return them, on this forum I’ve gotten a lot of dysfunctional vitriole -go figure.Finally; if all you want to do is complain about Halifax then leave. Seriously. Pack up your things and go; take your cynicism with you.That will solve your problem, but you guys don’t want to solve your problems you just want to complain about them. I hope someday you will find something you can feel good about and realize how much time you’ve wasted in petulant mysery.
Aren’t Brendan’s comments insight into a mind of “petulant mysery”????Maybe, I don’t know. well this conversation has gotten old – time to fly…
Jeanne:you didn’t answer my question: if Halifax is such a terrible place then why not just leave ? just pick up and go -it’s that easy. why not?
Not sure where you got the impression I don’t like Halifax?????I love… and I mean LOVE Halifax.I would like to live here until the day I die. If I can afford it!I love the landscape, the Maritime Hospitality, the rich history, the ghost stories, the old buildings and the Hill, I love the smell of the sea from the ocean. I cannot express how much I enjoy My Province of Nova Scotia. How much I love being a Maritimer!I would write brochures for advertising about our province if I thought I could make a living out of…and spell.If you were from another place and you met me on the street, I hesitate to say but no better ambassidor for Halifax would you find!does that answer your question as to why I won’t leave?
No one here COMPLETELY hates Halifax – Jeeze, Brendan, you write on such absolutes, in other words, we should be run out of town if we have any criticism of this fair burg. In fact, you don’t be seem to be able to handle any criticism. Unless it’s light and fluffy, Brandan doesn’t want to know. Well, dearie, I’m a hard core realist – I have a fulfilling life and a loving family so there’s no bitterness here – I just refuse to wear blinders when it comes to my bitches. When all is said and done, however, I still think ya just don’t get the jest of this column at all. Too bad. Most of us have a good laugh here in spite of our negative experiences.