QI’m a Seattle local who basically grew up reading your column. I think you’ve always given really sound advice, so I’m reaching out. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We started out poly, but I was clear from the start that when I fall in love with someone, I lose all […]
relationships
Mom and I know about dad’s cross-dressing kink
Q I’m a 35-year-old bisexual man in a LTR with a man. My question, however, has to do with my parents. As an adolescent/teen, I was a snoop (as I think most of us are, looking for dad’s porn stash, et cetera). I was probably 12 or so when I found evidence of my dad […]
Parenting the pubescent bondage kinkster
Q My son has always liked handcuffs and tying people up as a form of play. He is 12 now, and the delight he finds in cuffing has not faded. He lobbied hard to be allowed to buy a hefty pair of handcuffs. We cautioned him strongly about consent—he has a younger brother—and he has […]
Fists of pleasure, fists of roommate irritation
Q My roommate is a gay man who is into getting fisted. A lot. We were FWBs until he moved into my place, when we agreed it would be better to not have sex anymore. It’s worked out fine. He’s been here for a year. Here’s the problem: About two years ago, he got into […]
What’s the deal with physical ideals?
QI don’t listen to your podcast religiously, but as soon as I told my best friend this story, she said, “That’s a question for Dan Savage!” Backstory: I have a monogamous partner who I live with. It’s a heterosexual relationship, but we are both bisexual. That little inkling of homosexuality really drew me to him […]
Come the Women’s Pleasure Revolution
QI’m a straight woman and have been sexually active for about six years. I’m in my mid-20s now and about ready to become a “man-hating feminist.” I feel like I can figure out what a guy wants in bed pretty easily. I cannot remember a single time when I’ve had sex with a guy that […]
From bukkake to sexsomnia, simple answers to sex questions
Q I took Molly with my best bud. We wound up cuddling and telling each other everything. We didn’t mess around—we’re both straight guys—but one of the things I told him is that I would much rather eat pussy than fuck, and one of the things he told me is that he’s not at all […]
What happened to the rest of my dick?
Q I’m an otherwise healthy male of 54. When I was a teen, my cock measured about six and a half inches. Not small, not huge, pretty average. I never kept track of the situation down south, but suddenly I find my junk reports in at just over four inches. WTF? Is this normal? Do […]
Do I forgive him or do I forget him?
Q I’m a 42-year-old single, straight female who recently started dating a 36-year-old man in a somewhat exclusive, long-distance relationship. We have known each other for a short time, but have clocked hours upon hours on the phone. I have specifically stated many times I don’t want kids of my own (he does), am extremely […]
Autism Nova Scotia’s healthy relationships and sexuality program could help us all
Love is hard. Sex is complicated. Consent is mandatory but not always given and sex-ed curriculums don’t necessarily tick all the boxes. These things get even more complicated for teens and adults on the autism spectrum. Autism Nova Scotia’s Healthy Relationships, Sexuality and Autism program fills in some of these gaps by supporting teens and […]
Fingering it out
QI’m a 36-year-old straight guy, happily married for more than 10 years and a longtime reader. My wife and I are monogamous. We’re good communicators, well matched in terms of libido and slightly kinky (light bondage, Dom/sub play in the bedroom). For the last few months, I’ve been thinking about trying prostate play, and I […]
Sex and the curious shopper
Q I’m a straight cis woman in my early 40s and a single mother. I have not dated or hooked up with anyone in years. While I miss dating, the biggest issue right now is that my sex drive is off the charts. While watching porn and masturbating once my child goes to sleep helps, […]

