DEAR READERS: Last week was made of problems. The bombing of the Boston Marathon, the explosion that leveled a small town in Texas, the rising tide of anti-gay violence in France, the North Koreans being North Korean. And when I sat down to write this week’s—while the manhunt was still under way for the second […]
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A hole lot of questions
Q I am uncircumcised, and the opening at the end of my foreskin is not large enough for the head of my penis to pass through. This means my foreskin doesn’t pull back when I get an erection. The internet says this is a condition called “phimosis,” and a lot of medical sites recommend circumcision. […]
Advice from a gay bishop
Q I’m a gay man who has been seeing a devout Christian gay guy for one year. We have a great relationship. We have many of the same interests and respect each other’s feelings and beliefs. However, I am a Catholic who is not that religious, and he is an Orthodox Christian. Some of his […]
Fantasies and motorcycles
Q I am trying to understand some sexual fantasies I have. They involve having sex with a woman who has a penis. Sometimes I fantasize that my wife grew a penis. The fantasies started when we first tried pegging a few years ago. We recently had our first child and can no longer find the […]
Buying my bro’s virginity loss
Q My brother is 22 years old and mentally ill with social anxiety on the scale of agoraphobia (officially diagnosed). He’s made significant progress in the past few years, but he’s stuck on the fact that he’s a virgin and is convinced that he’s not going to make any real social progress until that’s no […]
Of gerbils and Gere
DEAR READERS: I’m off this week. To tide all of your hot and/or kinky and/or sore asses over, here’s a column I wrote 15 years ago. I’m rerunning it now because I still get questions about “gerbiling” on a daily basis. Q We were having a little office debate about “gerbiling.” How does it work? […]
An accidental fetish star
Q I’m an actor in New York. A lot of people think actors are whores, but last week I almost became one. I responded to a casting call for a film project called Sniff. The ad—on Playbill‘s website—called for two male actors to film a short scene. The pay was $100 for a day’s work. […]
Lock, stock and one barrel
Q My girlfriend and I read your column religiously, and I have you to thank for being comfortable enough with my kinks to tell her about my interest in BDSM. She is very GGG and has indulged all my kinky fantasies and discovered some of her own. Our latest adventure has her locking up my […]
Bros before bros in dresses
Q I am writing about a friend. By all appearances, he is straight. However, on more than one occasion, he has gotten drunk and tried to hook up with a transvestite or a person who could have been one. In one instance, he went to a club and was approached by a really masculine-seeming girl […]
Parenting my (maybe) gay son
Q I’m a 37-year-old single father with a 14-year-old son. I’ve raised him on my own basically since birth, with help from some good friends and nearby family. Overall he’s a good kid: gets decent grades, rarely gets in trouble. Our relationship isn’t perfect—I work a lot and he’s a teenager, but no major issues. […]
All about addiction
Q I’ve been a fan of your Savage Lovecast for a long time, but I had to write after hearing Marty Klein’s awesome talk about the fallacy of “sex addiction.” I am 27, and for most of my adult life, I have suffered from complete sexual dysfunction with partners. I was ashamed and thought I […]
A cross-trust betrayed
Q A friend of mine on the opposite coast is a crossdresser considering transitioning. He came out to a female friend he had known for a long time but hadn’t seen in awhile, and she told her that she wanted her to come to her house fully dressed for some hot sex to “explore her […]

