This magazine is full of revolting articles not suitable for folks with a sane mind—and you leave it all over the place for free! Any child could come along and take one, thinking it is something kind of congruous to family values in the public news form, but it is just disgusting! I don’t want to hear about your sex lives you sickos—and neither do the children! Every time I have tried to flip through this thing I forget the only reason I empty the Coast paper machine every time I see one is to put the papers under where the birds sleep. Free crap catchers.
—Mary Contrary
This article appears in May 9-15, 2019.
Get freaking real. When you try to hide shit from your kids, you’re willfully making them as ignorant as fuck. This causes more problems that you can ever imagine. A publication like the Coast allows kids to ask questions that their uptight parents refuse to answer. You remind me of a typical helicopter parent – intent on wrapping all children in bubble wrap. You’re more suited for the 20th century than this one.
I can’t wait to see how in a twist you are when their abortion stories article comes our.