We attend the same exercise class. I’m not there to chat with men I don’t know, and my body language would make that pretty clear. Weekly, you make odd approaches where you come up and brag about your accomplishments. A new and unappreciated technique of yours is to comment on sections of the class where I seemed to get tired or modify. MY new approach is to try and keep my head down and avoid all eye contact, but even that fails me.
Here is what I struggle with—your small talk may seem polite enough to you, and you/people may think I was rude if I made a big public scene where I told you to take a hike. But actually, you are persistently making me uncomfortable, and THAT is rude. Up until now it has been my own fault that I have selected “not seeming rude” over my own comfort. Those days are over. Consider yourself warned. —Eyes On Your Own Mat
This article appears in Feb 8-14, 2018.
Legit bitch however, I am not sure this person should consider themselves warned unless:
1) they know that their advances are not wanted, which they don’t because you have not told them so
2) they follow this forum and read your post and apply point #1
So, instead of making “…a big public scene…” which I have no idea why that would be necessary, just tell the person that you’re not interested and ask them to leave you alone. I know I would appreciate it if I were him and I fancied you. Far more effective than posting on a forum like this.
I think part of the problem is that some women think men understand subtle body language cues. Many do not. I mean if you are obviously arms-crossed, death stare, battle-stance that’s one thing…if you are simply looking away or not standing the same way you would if you were greeting a friend, for example, most men would not get that you were trying to give them a signal to back off. I agree with TOSG, just be direct and say something like, “I just come here to work out and would like to be left alone please.” No need to cause a scene unless he reacts to that statement with anything other than. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize I was bothering you. I’ll knock it off.”
Like TOSG says “just tell the person that you’re not interested and ask them to leave you alone. I know I would appreciate it if I were him and I fancied you. Far more effective than posting on a forum like this.”
&/or
“I just come here to work out and would like to be left alone please.” -LACIG
Yes, yes
Be direct.. some men may be a bit stupid or willfully blind when it comes to body language
Social situations like this can be awkward – especially when you are trapped in a class, on a bus, in the workplace, etc. with someone who seems or is definitely interested. It’s important to learn strategies for dealing with them and not to over-react. I (a male) have had unwanted advances from females in the past and regret not handling some of them with a bit more kindness.
The dude sounds very awkward and tone-deaf to body language but harmless. He hasn’t crossed the line and asked you out – and probably won’t if you don’t show any signs of interest.
I think that if you simply show him no positive response he will soon get the message. Just give him a blank look when he makes any commentary about his feats of strength – no smile or nod. Try to set up out of his view in the class so he can’t critique you. If he makes any comments about your performance feel free to say, “Thanks but I don’t need any advice. I’ll figure it out on my own.” He’ll get the message soon and look for a new audience.
Body language is a difficult thing and a lot of people aren’t good at it. Thankfully, we have spoken language. As other posters have said, you can use yours. Communicate. You can absolutely tell someone you’re not interested without being rude.
I get your fear, OB. It’s a ridiculous posture to attempt to “add value” to another’s efforts to improve themselves, especially when it’s not wanted and when the intent seems prurient. A short, “I’m sorry – but _I_ need to focus on my work here” should suffice. If it doesn’t, a threat to inform the instructor of the problem should certainly work (with a follow-through if, by chance, he tries to call your bluff.)
If polite messages don’t work or you don’t want to confront him yourself then you should feel free to escalate to the folks running the class. It’s then up to them to have a word with him about curtailing his behaviour with female classmates. https://www.wikihow.com/Handle-Being-Hit-on-at-the-Gym