The thing about children of serious/chronic mental illness is that you have no right/freedom to an opinion. You go through life never having a voice, society tells you it’s a waiting game. When you try to voice your opinion, it’s considered illegitimate. You must be going crazy. You must be getting paranoid. There is no “real” community, it’s labeled a “support group.” The community is based on drugs and dominance. Nobody wants to get to know you once they find out you have a parent with serious mental illness, unless they also have a close relative with serious mental health issues. Eventually you have to talk about it, and when you do, people usually respond with an awkward caught off-guard response. Then they either begin to distance themselves from you, or begin the cycle [as described above]. It can become so frustrating at times. Children of parents with mental illness grow up so much hopelessness, so much unseen societal pressure. They either give up and have drug/alcohol issues themselves, or they spend their whole lives fighting their own societal-determined fate. It’s a lonely world when you have no community, when it can ever be simply a “support group.” People rarely speak of loved ones with mental illness with pride and when they do, they are usually reminded that this is a societal taboo.
People with mental health “issues.” How come we have to consider these “issues”? These are some of the most interesting people you will ever meet! They have the most interesting stories, they are usually so innocent, and NOT violent. They care so much and can be really good parents. The children of people with serious mental health “issues” are the most empathetic people you will ever meet—they’ve seen and heard it all, all of their lives. They can see so many perspectives. They have so many stories to tell, but who wants to tell them if it’s just going to scare people away? If it’s just going to contribute to the negative societal label? —Not Really A Bitcher, Just A Little Frustrated
This article appears in Jan 18-24, 2018.
Huh? Can you simplify your rant into a few coherent statements? I have NO idea about what you are bitching…
I just want to say thanks. One, for mentioning your thoughts on this sorta surrogate community of professionally appointed social workers and half-asleep peers. Two, for pointing out the closed circuit that seeking mental health support can sometimes be. And, three, for believing that people with mental health issues can actually be great parents. Really, it’s true, people with mental health issues CAN be great people who reach their potential as magnificent, unique, spunky community members. Yes, we can be. The community needs to first exist. I will reach out to people a little more candidly from now on…