Dating can be difficult at the best of times: Where else are you thrust into conversation with a near-stranger while both of you are trying to decide, in real time, whether you want to hook up, get married and have kids, or never see each other again?
It’s a miracle that any one of us meets another half (or more). And yet, generation by generation, we find a way. Oh, but there are stumbling blocks along the road. Dating can be divine, and it can also be downright cruel. These stories fall into the latter category.
More than 1,200 of you took part in this year’s Halifax Sex + Dating Survey. As is Coast tradition, we asked for the stories behind your worst dates. Read through some of the best replies below:
*Disclaimer: This story contains graphic language.*
“He wouldn’t shut up about being a sommelier, then said I was ‘way smarter’ than he thought…”
“Tried to diagnose me with mental illnesses after we had sex.”
“He was 30 minutes late and made several jokes about having bodies buried in his field. And talked exclusively about himself throughout the entire meal. I got the hell outta there immediately after dinner.”
“During dinner, I made some conversation where I discussed defending myself in court for anything short of murder. Just some nothing comment, we were talking about everything and anything. Turns out my date’s brother had just been sent to prison for murder.”
“Total ignorant douche talked about himself nonstop, accused me of not paying for my one drink (I did) and then made fun of my car.”
“End of second date, server came back over after the date paid the bill and asked if everything was okay with the service since they didn’t tip.”
“Went on a date with someone whose entire personality was K-pop. I excused myself to the bathroom, paid my tab and started to seriously reconsider my life choices.”
“He disappeared from our date when he found out his wife’s friends were at the bar. He’d told me he was single.”
“I asked him to come back to my place and drunkenly made him learn how to play crib. Poor guy.”
“A guy took me to a pub and acted like he knew everyone there but it was clear they either didn’t know him or didn’t like him and he was trying to show off.”
“Guy showed up in a cowboy hat and sneakers and called the front-of-house staff where he worked ‘re****ed.’”
“First thing out of his mouth was ‘can we fuck now?’”
“We got brunch. Made good conversation and hit it off reasonably well. We decided to go for a walk in Point Pleasant. As we’re leaving the park, she casually mentions that she makes a conscious effort to not date outside her race (she’s white). There was no second date.”
“He was going to take me out to supper. He took me to a CHIP TRUCK. We went to a pond with a path. He got stoned before we left the car. We got outside and he was too scared to walk because it was getting dark. The end.”
“He still lived with his ex-wife.”
“Once he showed me his hairy back it was over.”
“He didn’t bring a wallet on purpose to ‘weed out gold diggers’ so I had to pay for his coffee.”
“He picked me up at 7am to watch the sunrise. I get in and he’s got a Monster energy drink and a Polar Pop in the cup holder and Fruit by the Foot wrappers all over the floor of the front of his beat-up CRV. He’s wearing pjs. He goes to play a song and plays ‘Dear Future Husband’ by Megan Trainor. We get to Point Pleasant and he starts explaining why Covid ‘isn’t real’ then he says, ‘lemme blow a snot rocket real quick’ and opens his door, holds one nostril and blows into the ground, wipes his nose on his pjs and closes the door.”
“She invited me to her place to watch YouTube videos about car reviews and eat chicken ‘tendies.’”
“They tried to stop me from leaving the booth by standing in front of it.”
“She talked all night about her ex, then started crying while I was driving her home telling me how much she missed him.”
“I shat myself due to uncontrollable diarrhea caused by food poisoning.”
“Nurse with a superiority complex. She legitimately thought she was better than everyone else, especially service people. The whole date [she] talked about all the ‘high-profile people’ she had sex with (couldn’t tell me who), complained about her job, and left a huge mess for the waitstaff to clean up.”
“He got a call from his grandma and said he was with ‘the boys’ before getting me to drop him off at a party where he fucked another girl in the bathroom as soon as he got there.”
“I chose to go to a wine bar and the guy told the waitress when he was ordering, ‘I don’t like wine.’”
“She kissed me with just teeth. No lips.”
“Went for drinks with a guy who clearly hadn’t showered in a few days, but said he didn’t like it when women weren’t well put together—‘like your chipped nail polish, for example.’ Bye boy.”
“We fought for two hours about politics (e.g., ‘women are inherently insecure about their gender’) and he still expected me to sleep with him.”
“My worst date was a one-night stand with a neighbour. His penis was small and couldn’t get up.”
“She shit her pants but wouldn’t leave.”
“Drove 45 min each way in winter to have dinner. They showed up and had already eaten.”
“He watched a basketball game over my head for two hours then expected me to go home with him.”
“The bar was cash only. He had cash and I didn’t. Rather than paying, he let me walk around the city looking for an ATM in the rain.”
“Guy bailed on me for an 8pm date, showed up at my door at 3am, was drunk, explained to me he ditched me to hang with his ex, his ex didn’t know, he waited for his ex on his steps for hours then when he showed up (with a boy) they ended up getting into a fight, he punched ex in the face, and then left and came to mine.”
“I had on my profile that I am polyamorous and he kept suggesting going to swinger events. (Polyam does not necessarily mean super casual sex!)”
“He grabbed the only seat left, at the only table left, and I had to go find a chair to bring back to the table. I carried our two coffees, and he didn’t even hold the door for me.”
“Double date going nowhere for anyone. Switched dates and we all ended up married after the switch. All great friends now too.”
“Tinder date. Buddy started the date by complaining about his roommate’s girlfriend. Told 4 or 5 stories about how annoying she was. But in every story, he sounded like the asshole and she seemed cool and normal.”
“While waiting for the person to show up at the restaurant, she walked up to me at the table and asked if I was the person she was looking for. I said yes, I am. She then immediately said to me, ‘God, you’re ugly,’ and then turned around and walked away.”
“Guy showed up in dirty sweatpants and a shirt that didn’t cover his belly. He also needed a ride home afterwards.”
“Went out for drinks with a guy I’d met at a bar. He mocked my interests and called me a basic white chick (he was also white) and then told me he was actually moving out of province in a couple days so we should hook up now while we have the chance.”
“He talked about his history of ingrown toenails and the surgeries for them. We were at brunch.”
“This guy kept going on about how much he loved India and it was so spiritual and whatever but he didn't seem to listen to me when I explained I had never been there and I was born in Canada. My parents didn't even grow up there and I have no relatives or connections there. But he kept going on and on about it.”
“Dinner at a semi-fancy restaurant in Bedford. He talked continuously with his mouth full. AND THE ICING ON THE CAKE—he opened his wallet to get his bank card out to pick his teeth!!!”
