Savage Love

Q I have been seeing sex workers for 30 years, and I shudder to think how shitty my life would have been without them. Some have become friends, but I’ve appreciated all of them. Negative stereotypes about guys like me are not fair, but sex work does have its problems. What can we clients do […]

DEAR READERS: This is the final week of my vacation—but you’ve been getting a new column every week, all of them written by Dan Savage, none of them written by me. Our final guest Dan Savage is an independent designer, illustrator and animation director based in Brooklyn. He created Yule Log 2.0 (watchyulelog.com), a collaborative […]

DEAR READERS: I’m on vacation for three weeks. You’ll be reading new columns, all of them written by Dan Savage, none of them written by me. Our second guest Dan Savage is 32 years old, single and living in London. Dan Savage got his professional start working in promotions at the legendary London nightclub G-A-Y. […]

[Image-1] DEAR READERS: I’m on vacation for the next three weeks. You’ll be getting a new column every week, all of them written by Dan Savage, none of them written by me. Dan Savage is a sports writer and the assistant director of digital content for orlandomagic.com, and he will be answering your questions this […]

Q I can’t believe this is why I’m finally writing you. My husband is using Pokémon GO as an excuse to stay out until 5am with another woman. She is beautiful and about a decade younger than him, and he won’t hear me out on why this is bothersome. Our work schedules don’t match up, […]

Q I’m 28 years old. I’m intersex, but I identify as female. I am not out about being born intersex. Due to surgeries and hormones, I look like a fairly attractive female. I have been hanging out with a chill hetero guy, and things are getting very flirty. Is it unethical of me to not […]

Q I’m writing from Germany, where I am being heartbroken and not knowing how to go on. I’ve been seeing a guy for a couple of months and slowly falling in love with him. “Peter” has always been very open to me about himself, his failed relationships and his commitment issues. He talks frequently about […]

Q I’m in my mid-40s, straight, never married. Ten months ago, my girlfriend of three years dumped me. She got bored with the relationship and is generally not the marrying type. The breakup was amicable. I still love her and miss her. Last week, I wrote her a letter saying that I still love her […]

Q My wife and I have been married for 14 years and in a committed (I assumed) relationship for 17 years. Sex between us (often kinky) has always been great. We have a wonderful life together and two perfect children. I thought we were good; turns out things were too good to be true. I […]

Q Is it a douchey move to pretend to be a lesbian to avoid unwanted male attention? I’m a straight single woman in my mid-30s and a very plausible lesbian in terms of sartorial stereotypes. Occasionally a guy will hit on me in an awkward or creepy way and I’ll trot out a line about […]

Q There is a guy at my work who is into puppy play. I know this because I have some friends in the gay puppy community. I don’t give two shits what anyone I work with does to get off. All well and good, except he wants us to call him Spike, his puppy name. […]

Q I’ve been dating a nice guy for a month or so. Sex is good, and we’re faulty compatible in other ways, too. He told me he likes to wear diapers. He said he doesn’t want me to do it with him, but that every once in a while he likes to wear them because […]