QMarried guy here. I’m 33, the wife is 31. Our fifth anniversary is next month, but we’ve been together for almost eight years. We’ve recently both come out to each other as bi. She tried to tell me a long time ago, whereas I came to the realization only recently. We’re both interested in new sexual encounters […]
Lifestyle
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In your horoscope: Keep climbing!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIBRA (September 23-October 22) Seventy-nine-year-old Libran poet Robert Pinsky has had a triumphant life. He has published 19 books, including his own poems and essays, as well as translations of Italian and Polish poetry. For four years he served as the United States Poet Laureate. To what factors does he attribute his success? […]
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Taking it fast
QI’m a straight man who’s been dating a woman for not quite four months. In the beginning things were light. But things started to get heavy quickly. Two weeks in she revealed her very serious abandonment issues, and then began asking me whether I really loved her and demanding reassurance that I wasn’t going anywhere and […]
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In your horoscope: Talk to yourself
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIRGO (August 23-September 22) “At the necessary moment, going naked will be your most convincing disguise,” writes poet Dobby Gibson. As I apply his witty statement to your life, I’ll interpret it metaphorically. My sense is that you could really use the kind of “disguise” he’s talking about. What I mean is that […]
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Why is choking even a thing?
QI’m a 29-year-old straight woman in Pennsylvania. My question is to do with choking and consent. I’ve had two experiences in the past six months or so where someone has tried to choke me without my consent. The first time this happened, I coughed immediately but he tried multiple times during sex. I was caught so […]
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In your horoscope: go for the flow
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIRGO (August 23-September 22) Virgo poet Mary Oliver was renowned for giving herself permission. Permission to do what? To become a different person from the self she had been. To shed her familiar beliefs and adopt new ones. To treat every experience as an opportunity to experiment. To be at peace with uncertainty. […]
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When divorce isn’t an option, try another d-word
QI’ve been married for 30 years to the same man. I have dealt with his tantrums, his screaming and his fits. He’s always had anger management issues. He strangled me once a few months after our son was born, and never did it again. I would have left otherwise. He’s had relationships with other women […]
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In your horoscope: Get ready to make maximum impact
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIRGO (August 23-September 22) “Like any art, the creation of self is both natural and seemingly impossible,” says singer-songwriter Holly Near. “It requires training as well as magic.” How are you doing on that score, Virgo? Now is a favourable time to intensify your long-term art project of creating the healthiest, smartest version […]
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It can be a tall order to reach a fantasy
QI’m a cis male in my late twenties. I’ve recently become consumed by a specific fantasy I fear is unattainable, a fear that has been made worse by several failed attempts to research it. A little background: Except for a couple dates and make-out sessions with other men, my sex life has always been exclusively […]
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In your horoscope: Refine the way you use your senses
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIRGO (August 23-September 22) “Self-love is also remembering to let others love you. Come out of hiding.” Poet Irisa Yardenah wrote that advice, and now I’m passing it on to you, just in time for a phase when you will benefit from it most. I mean, it’s always good counsel for you to […]
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Safety for size queens, ’70s porn recommendations and more quickies
QI’m a 35-year-old woman. I recently discovered I’m a size queen. (Is it OK for me to use this term?) This has been brewing for a while, as I have dabbled with purchasing larger and larger cucumbers and fucking myself with them after a good wash. I use a condom and tons of lube and […]
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In your horoscope: It may be wise and healthy to go a bit too far
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEO (July 23-August 22) “Magic lies in challenging what seems impossible,” says Leo politician Carol Moseley Braun. I agree with her, but will also suggest there’s an even higher magic: when you devise a detailed plan for achieving success by challenging the impossible, and then actually carry out that plan. Judging from the […]
