Sylvia Mayers was substituting for a class earlier this year when one of the students came up to her and called her a transphobic slur.
She thinks it was meant to disrupt the class more than cause harm, and doubts the young student knew the power of the word. It didn’t make it hurt any less.
Mayers is a substitute junior high and elementary teacher in Nova Scotia. She’s also transgender, having had her sex misidentified at birth.
The Coast is not using her real name. She doesn’t let students and other staff know she’s transgender. Not anymore.
“I just don’t want to deal with slurs being yelled at me in the classroom,” says Mayers, “and I also worry about parents, and parents’ reactions to their kids having a trans teacher because frequently there’s a very negative perception of trans women.”
Issues of transphobia and misgendering aren’t limited to her students. Mayers has also had problems with other teachers who knew she was trans. In one elementary class where she was substituting, a fellow teacher called her by male pronouns in front of the students.
“At least twice last year I had teachers who had originally gendered me correctly, slip to using male pronouns to describe me,” Mayers says. “One in front of her whole class after I came out to the school as trans.”
The misgendering may not have been intentional, but it was careless and perpetrated stereotypes. In response, Mayers sent the teacher an email, cc’ing the school’s administration.
Mayers says the administrators brought in LGBTQ+ activists The Youth Project to educate staff. They handled the situation well. Better than the teacher who misgendered her, anyway.
“Afterwards she called me to apologize, but clearly her apology showed she didn’t get it,” says Mayers. “She was like, ‘I’m a friend of lesbians, of course I’m accepting!’”
Four years ago the province released new guidelines for protecting transgender and gender-nonconforming students and staff, but despite those rules, Mayers says there are still several flaws in the system.
“I’ve had a Grade 4 student basically come out as trans in my class,” she says. “He said he wanted to use a masculine name instead of a feminine name, and that he wanted male pronouns used to describe him. But according to the guidelines I have to get parental permission because he’s not in Grade 7 yet.”
The child’s parents wouldn’t give their permission for their son to use his new name.
To other teachers, Mayers suggests strongly knowing the administrative environment at your school before making a choice to let others know you’re trans. If administrators are supportive, it can be a great way for kids to have visible trans role model in their
lives.
“But if you’re not sure if your administrator would support you—and there are a few administrators that I wouldn’t feel safe coming out in their schools—you do what you need to do to keep safe,” cautions Mayers. “It just adds a little extra thing on top of teaching that, frequently, is just too much.”
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This article appears in Mar 8-14, 2018.
Are they slurs or are people making uneducated statements? Jessica dear, this whole trans thing is new. Most people have no idea what “cis” means let alone knowing what words to use. When I came out almost 40 years ago, my mother would refer to me as queer; this was before queer was an acceptable moniker. She wasn’t being insulting but using language that was familiar and common to her. I had to correct her language many times. I really think that we need to temper our reaction at times like this. It’s not the words but the intent.
@Cocky Fatuous Did you enjoy being called “queer” by your mother? Or by anyone else before the term was reclaimed? A slur is still a slur regardless of intent, and pulling this “temper (y)our reaction” act is patronizing.
First let.me say that you need to understand who your supporters are in today’s society. Beware of burning those bridges. Along to matters at hand…
No THISONESHADE, it didn’t bother me because I knew she didn’t have the (politically correct) language to use. She wasn’t insulting me nor was she being intentionally hurtful. It didn’t take long for her to use appropriate language.
Now, paint it in whatever light you wish but I suggest that strategy will only piss people off.
It is a learning opportunity. Tell us what words to use to describe you; we do not know. Within the last year, I called and asked for a person. I was told that they were not in the office. They? I’m referring to one person. I had never heard of someone using collective pronouns to describe themself… themselves? (The question is one of grammar and not what is between your legs.)
How are we supposed to intrinsically know language for something that we have never seen the likes of which before? Would you chide your child at age 5 because they do not understand the concepts of algebra? Of course not. Think about it along those lines.
We (a strong majority of people) are not here to attack you. We are not here to make fun of you. If you don’t teach us, we will fail. we will forget or fuck it up; all part of a learning process. Be as patient as your mother was in potty-training you. There were a lot of shitty and pissy pants during those times.
If you think that my mother was using deprecating language to describe me then you have problems above and beyond that of living life as someone who is transgender.
Back down. Relax and enjoy your life. We do not care about your genitals or how you use them. It is your moral fibre as a human being that dictates how you are regarded as a person; that has never changed.