He didn’t notice me noticing you from across the room. My heart leapt and I lost my appetite and concentration entirely. No one makes me tremble the way you do—this context was no different. I’ve been wondering how you’re getting along and recalling why it is I chose not to be there for you as a friend. He and I have known each other for years and I feel comfortable with him because I won’t break his heart and he cannot break mine. I knew heartbreak was a possibility with you though, and I was afraid. I wish I were capable of an adult connection, but even friendship with you is beyond my black and white mentality and my level of maturity. I believe keeping my distance is the most ethical thing for me to do, but damn does my resolve crumble when you’re near me. For what it’s worth, I care about what happens to you. I care enough not to reach out again. I still think of you and truly hope you’re doing well. —(Every-Other) Summer Lover
This article appears in Dec 7-13, 2017.